ORBzine - April 2007 Movie Reviews


Blood and Chocolate

Blood and Chocolate In a picturesque city in central Europe, a clan of werewolves are ruled by Olivier Martinez (S.W.A.T.). One of them, teenage free-runner Agnes Bruckner , wants a better life.

Ms Bruckner falls for an American boy. Unfortunately, the werewolves do not approve. Things go from bad to worse ...

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  • Golden Child

    Golden Child Eevil Charles Dance ( Alien 3 ) kidnaps a mystical young boy, the title character. Charlotte Lewis and James Hong ( Big Trouble in Little China ) recruit Eddie Murphy ( Bowfinger ) to rescue the boy.

    Murphy is the same wise-cracking asshole he plays in all his 1980s films. But he is very toned down here - less swearing and violence. A more family-friendly version.

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  • The Reaping

    The Reaping Hillary Swank is a miracle debunker, a Mythbuster. She investigates bogus miracles, and uncovers con-men. As a girl-power type, she has a sort of Lara Croft thing going for as well.

    Swank's friend, a priest, sends her to the Deep South where a river has turned into blood. This also happened in an episode of American Gothic , which is exactly what this town is reminiscent of. Local man David Morrissey ( Walking Dead: Season 3 ) helps her.

    The film is made up of lots of bits from far better films. It is predictable and cliched. For example, her sidekick is the token non-white character - what are the chances that he makes it to the end of the film?

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  • Ginger Snaps Franchise

    Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning (2004)

    Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning (2004) This is a prequel, filmed after the first two films but set over a century earlier than them. As a result it does not fit directly into the chronology, but who cares?

    Ginger ( Katherine Isabelle ) and her sister arrive at an isolated Canadian trading post some time in the 1800s. The place is besieged by werewolves, but the real danger is within.

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  • Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)

    Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004) Set shortly after the original, the sole survivor has been committed to a girls reformatory. Her only friends are a hunky orderly (the school bully in Smallville ) and a young girl ( Tatiana Maslany ) who is also an inmate.

    Ginger ( Katherine Isabelle ) is gone, but she can appear to her sister in visions.

    Another werewolf is on the prowl. He can smell her, and he wants to mate.

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  • Cabin Fever Franchise

    Cabin Fever (2003)

    Cabin Fever (2003) A bunch of college students head off for a big weekend together, out in the woods. The perfect setup for a low-budget horror film, one that has been used so many times that it is the biggest cliche in Horror. However, this is a fresh and original take on it. The area around the cabin is contaminated with a flesh-eating virus - and worse than that, the students fall foul of the local rednecks!

    Eli Roth , now regarded as protege of Quentin Tarantino , is now famous for the Hostel series. This is his low-budget debut, as much like Blair Witch Project as anything - more obscure, but with a greater legacy!

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  • Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)

    Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009) This takes off where the original ends. None of the original cast return, but it is that kind of story. The exception is the local Deputy, a sleazy little overacted creep named Winston, who comes out with a lot of pseudo-Tarantino drivel. However, this does add a certain lightness to an overall dark film.

    The infected water is now being bottled and sold. A batch ends up at the local High School, where it is Prom Night. Yes, at High School it is always Prom - just as in Chinatown it is always Chinese New Year! However, despite the cliché that is actually quite well done. The teenagers are well-written and the cast do a great job of bringing it to life - so to speak. Unfortunately, someone has sent in a clean-up crew with NBC suits and automatic weapons.

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  • Cabin Fever: Patient Zero (2014)

    Cabin Fever: Patient Zero (2014) There is an outbreak of the deadly contagion at a Housing For Humanity project in Latin America. The US military-industrial complex gets involved, and takes the sole survivor (Sean Astin - Lord of the Rings ) to a secret lab on a nearby island. He is apparently immune, like Typhoid Mary, and the scientists want to use him to find a cure. Unfortunately he is unhappy at being a guinea-pig for their experiments.

    Nearby, some American tourists are planning a wedding. The Groom and his buddies head off in a speedboat for a bachelor party. They end up on, by incredible coincidence, the same island as the secret lab. By this stage, the inevitable outbreak has started.

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  • Cabin Fever (2016)

    Cabin Fever (2016) Five tweenagers from the Big City go for a weekend in a Cabin In The Woods . If this all sounds familiar, it is a generic setup for the majority of horror movies. But this film takes it a bit further. It is a direct remake of a film that came out only thirteen years prior.

    This is a completely unnecessary remake of a movie that basically was not all that good to begin with. The tweenagers are virtually interchangeable, with Gage Golightly as one of the girls. There are a couple of changes. The first is the re-casting of creepy Deputy Winston as a female ( Louise Linton ). Yes, the dialogue is the same but the gender is flipped - and it works! The second change is not so good. The N-word reference, the high point of the original film, is gone. Remember that it was judged so vital to the script that the writer-director could not get funding for many years because he refused to cut that line out.

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