Xena: Warrior Princess
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Season 2
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 1]
Orphan of War
Shown 30 Sep 96
Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) is on the trail of a warlord named Dagnam. He used to be a member of her army, so he is potentially dangerous to her.
Dagnam goes the valley of the centaurs, in search of the Ixian cavern which contains a magical stone. Whoever uses the stone will be transformed into an enormous murderous centaur.
Xena volunteers to defend the centaur village. There is a young human boy named Solan, who blames her for the death of his father - a warlord named Borias. However, Borias was Xena's lover and Solan is her son.
Disclaimer: No sleazy warlords who deem it necessary to drink magic elixers that turn them into scaly centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 2]
Remember Nothing
Shown 7 Oct 96
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 3]
The Giant Killer
Shown 14 Oct 96
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 4]
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Shown 21 Oct 96
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 5]
Return of Callisto
Shown 28th Oct 1996
Reviewed 24th February 2001 [Saturday]
Callisto ( Hudson Leick ), Xena's Arch-Nemesis, busts out of jail and comes looking for revenge. Meanwhile, Gabby meets childhood sweetheart Perdicus again. He is still a mercenary, but he is become a pacifist so she decides to marry him. Enter Cally ...
When first shown, this episode was somewhat shocking. Now, shown at 10AM as part of the line-up for Channel 5's The Core childrens' morning viewing, it seems far less impressive.
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 6]
Warrior ... Princess ...
Shown 4th November 1996
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 7]
Intimate Stranger
Shown 11th November 1996
Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) is haunted by a murderous decision she made at the climax of Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 5] Return of Callisto. When confronted by the ghost of Callisto ( Hudson Leick ), Xena confesses her sin. And then, by magical law, she is forced to trade bodies with her foe.
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 8]
Ten Little Warlords
Shown 18th November 1996
Originally, this episode was meant to star Lucy Lawless in the title role. However, she was hospitalised when a horse fell on her and broke her leg. True story. However, by incredible coincidence the previous episode, the body-swap story, had just been filmed. Now we get a standard Xena ep-of-the-week, but with the title character played by Hudson Leick .
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 9]
A Solstice Carol
Shown 9th December 1996
Xena and Gabby arrive in a new town. They are robbed by a youngster, but they follow him home to an orphanage. King Silvas orders the orphanage to pay a thousand dinars tax by sunrise, or face crucifiction for violating the prohibition on celebrating Winter Solstice. Is a thousand a lot? Well, the tannery will pay fifty for a mule's hide.
Xena seems intent on regime change by violent overthrow of the established government. Gabby has a different plan, involving Sintacles the toymaker. As always in this kind of thing, they have to do a version of A Christmas Carol . Despite living in a world where magic is real, they have to resort to using the toymaker's tricks and creations.
Gabby gets a mount of her own, to match Xena's war-horse Argo. Her steed is a stubborn donkey named Tobias. Unfortunately our heroes meet a man and woman with a child, and they are following a magical star. The little donkey becomes the first Xmas gift.
Disclaimer: Senticles was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several chimneys are in dire need of repair.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 10]
The Xena Scrolls
Shown 13th Jan 1997
Reviewed 31st March 2001 - Saturday
This is an Indiana Jones parody (with Gabby as Indy!) set in the 1940s. Lucy Lawless plays a nerdy female, while Ted Raimi plays a French type who seems to have wandered out of a parody of Casablanca.
Our heroes enter an ancient tomb in search of the Xena scrolls, as written by Gabby thousands of years beforehand. We get a mix of flashbacks (lots of Callisto, and bits with a guy named Marcus who was apparently Xena's true love). Most of the clips are from the episode Callisto - we get to see the climax as well as the introductions of Cally and Joxer.
The 1940s plot involves a 1940s villain (apparently a Brit - someone must have forgotten to tell the Merkins we were on their side!). However, the big battle at the end involves a recurring character (not Callisto, unfortunately) from Ancient times. Certain things about this episode are contradicted in Season 5 & 6,
The epilog features Ted as a writer who pitches the Joxer Scrolls to Rob Tapert (not played by Bruce Campbell this time).
Disclaimer: No Hollywood Producers were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 11]
Here She Comes ... Miss Amphipolis
Shown 20th Jan 1997
Reviewed 7th April 2001 - Saturday
Salmoneus is hosting a beauty pagent, Miss Known World. However, the Kings who have sent their women (including Simone Kessell ) as representatives will go to war if they lose. Sal gets Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) to go undercover as Miss Amphipolis, to root out whever is trying to undermine the show.
If this sounds familiar, the same plot has been used before to similar effect in the recent Sandra Bullock vehicle, Miss Congeniality. And this episode compares quite favorably with it.
The girls seem reluctant to perform in the beauty pageant. This is in spite of the fact that they are getting paid. Yes, they are being paid in food, but they will get enough to feed their village for the winter. One girl states she does not want to abandon her dignity in the pageant, and would rather go home and do manual labour on a farm. Yes, she would rather spend the rest of her life doing back-breaking physical labour such as shoveling manure.
The girls are survivors of the previous wars, and they see the pageant as something trivial. However, pageants are a form of non-violent competition between states. The next best thing is sporting events, although they have a tendency of turning into pitch invasions and all-out war. In other words, the pageant is the best way to maintain peace.
The thing is, peace might not be the best thing. Any peaceful country that remains neutral between warlike neighbours is able to profit from their neutral trading status. In other words, peaceful countries are full of war profiteers!
The moral of the story: you can be the most beautiful woman in the world, even if you are a [spoiler]!
Disclaimer: No ribbons were harmed in the production of this motion picture. However, several experienced severe motion sickness.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 12]
Destiny
Shown 27th Jan 1997
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 13]
The Quest
Shown 3rd February 1997
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 14]
A Necessary Evil
Shown 10th February 1997
Reviewed 2nd week April 2000
Gabby is made Queen of the Amazons, but her rival Velasca ( Mindy Clarke ) turns up at the coronation ceremony. Velasca has somehow obtained a pouch of Ambrosia, food of the gods - she eats some and becomes a god herself. Then she comes after Gabby with violence in mind.
Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) takes Gabby to safety while the Amazons slow down their pursuer. The warrior princess and sidekick cannot take Velasca out themselves - they need an immortal, and since Hercules is on holiday the only one they can find is ... Callisto!
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 15]
A Day In The Life ...
Shown 17th February 1997
Reviewed 3rd week April 2000
Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) and Gabby have to save two villages simultaneously threatened - one by a warlord, one by a giant. However, there is only enough time to visit one of the villages!
Xena and Gabby's relationship takes a few knocks throughout the show - Xena ruins their frying pan on a thug and lost their best carving knife in a warlord's thigh. Gabby uses the chakram to chop up their dinner, and Xena borrows one of Gabby's scrolls when she feels the call of nature. There were no soft leaves ...
Also, in a Pink Panther reference, Gabby spends the whole episode attempting Burt Kwouk-type attacks on Xena.
This show sees the introduction of Alison Wall , the Xena-fan woman who pops up in Season 3 . Also, we get a couple of Lesbian Subtext scenes ...
While it is a light-hearted ep, the serious subject matter is glossed over. The warlord, Talgrius, is a former associate of Xena. His army is massaed out, and he is defeated in single combat. His eventual fate is not shown, but probably involves a rope and a tree. The Giant's fate is more straightforward. He is one of the last of a dying breed of magical creatures. Despite Xena normally taking a conservationist stance to protect centaurs and suchlike, her benevolence does not apparently extend to the giants. She may very well have committed an act of genocide this time.
Disclaimer: No slippery Eels were harmed during the production of this motion picture despite their reputation as a fine delicacy in select cultures of the known world.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 16]
For Him The Bell Tolls
Shown 24 Feb 97
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 17]
The Execution
Shown 7th April 1997
Reviewed May 2000
Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) and Gabby go to a village to meet Gabby's friend, the former Warlord Meleager (Tim Thomerson - Trancers ). They discover he has been convicted of murder and sentenced to Death. Gabby believes his innocence and tries to help him, while Xena prefers to listen to the Judge who heard the case.
Disclaimer: By popular demand "The Executioner" will bring back his comfortable lightweight cotton-flax blend robe in a variety of spring colours.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 18]
Blind Faith
Shown 14th April 1997
Reviewed May 2000
Gabby is kidnapped by a young warrior, who goads Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) into fighting him. I don't have a soft spot for you like Drago, and I'm not out of control like Callisto. He is intent on gaining a rep as the man who bested Xena. Hmm. Anyone else think of Joxer?
Gabby is carried off to be the new bride of King Solus. She is not keen, but changes her mind when she sees the naked statue of him. However, her luck with men is as terrible as ever - and like Perdicus he does not live to see the end of the episode.
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 19]
Ulysses
Shown 21st April 1997
Reviewed May 2000
Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) and Gabby find a man being attacked by three pirates. He handles himself well, but needs the babes' help when ten more pirates pile on.
The man is Ulysses, on his way back from the Trojan war to his throne on the island of Ithaca. The only problem is, the pirates are after him on the orders of Poseidon, God of the Sea - angry that Ulysses blinded his son the cyclops. Poseidon makes an appearance himself; yes, this is the clip used in the title sequence.
Xena admits to Ulysses that she fought on the side of the Trojans, to save her friend Helen. Ulysses cares little about a war that has long ended, and cares only about getting home. The trio hijack the pirates' ship and Xena manages to sail it past the Sirens - but by the end of the journey Ulysses is over his wife (whom he believes dead) and wants Xena instead.
The conclusion? Well, Ulysses manages to regain his throne with a little covert help from Xena. Yes, as ever she has to get all the glory in the show! Ulysses was played by Joe D'Aquino, one of Ted Joxer Raimi's co-stars from Seaquest DSV . Ulysses' wife ( Rachel Blakely ) was actually in Neighbours, believe it or not! She went on to star in the new Australian TV show of Conan Doyle's The Lost World. .
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 20]
The Price
Shown 28 Apr 97
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 21]
The Lost Mariner
Shown 5 May 97
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena: Warrior Princess [Season 2, Episode 22]
A Comedy of Eros
Shown 12 May 97
Disclaimer: No [] were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
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