ORBzine - 1999.10 Television Movie Review

ORBzine - Movies on Television Hallowe'en 1999

Superman IV - Quest for Peace

Superman [Christopher Reeve] decides to end the Cold War detente by destroying all nuclear weapons on Earth.

Lex Luthor [Gene Hackman] is back, and creates his own super-villain - a stuntman with a blond mullet hairdo and superpowers equal to Kal-El's. Luthor's other sidekick, in place of Ned Beatty, is his computer-nerd nephew.

Meanwhile, the Daily Planet has been subject to hostile takeover by a Media Mogul [Sam Wanamaker] and his daughter, who takes a liking to Clark Kent.

This film sucked when this reviewer watched it on video ten years ago [in 1989], and still sucks. The villain looks a lot more dated, with his long fluffy hair and his golden glow - but that means little when you consider that he was just a brightly-costumed stunt-man for the guy in blue & red to face off with.

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Krull

Krull The world of Krull, a land of fantasy and magic, has been invaded by an alien army, the Slayers. The hero, a young Prince, must lead a motley group of companions to rescue the damsel in distress and destroy the Beast.

This is a window into the early 1980s, especially if you look at the cast. The hero, Ken Marshall, never did anything much before or after, but the heroine [ Lysette Anthony ] was still around to appear in last month's Mel Brooks film Dracula: Dead and Loving It.

Francesca Annis [Dune] and Freddy Jones are great in their supporting roles. The real gems are the bit parts. The hero's makeshift army includes

  • Alun Armstrong [ Legend of Sleepy Hollow]
  • Robbie Coltrane [ The World is Not Enough]
  • Liam Neeson [ Star Wars: Phantom Menace]

    Also, Brenda Bakke [ American Gothic ] pops up as a friendly wench.

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    Hudson Hawk

    Hudson Hawk Bruce Willis, the best catburglar in the world, gets out of jail. He is conscripted into a secret mission to recover a plot device ... in a light-hearted mega-budget comedy-thriller kind of way.

    This may not fit most peoples' idea of SF, but the plot [discovery of Da Vinci's formula to turn lead into gold] certainly makes the grade. Back when this flick was originally released Bruce Willis was a major star - fresh from the Die Hard films the studio thought it was on to a major winner and invested a reputed $70 million in it. This at a time when the average film [eg Total Recall ] was about $30 million; in fact, Hudson Hawk was for several years the most expensive Hollywood film ever made, and far from the best.

    Yes, unfortunately the great Hollywood brains made a couple of mistakes when they made this flick. The first, and most important, is that they spend all the money up front and didn't save anything for the promotion!!!

    The genre and look of this film is all wrong, too. This is a jokey little comedy-thriller in the mould of A Fish Called Wanda - but instead of a great script with tons of jokes and a cast of great comedy actors this film features a SPFX-intensive Bond-type action-adventure approach. That sort-of worked in Teen Agent , which was a blatant James Bond parody, but if the people behind Hudson Hawk had the chance to see Austin Powers 2 first they would have found Willis a much better vehicle to change his image with. The best comparison to make with this film is Eddie Murphy's Golden Child ...

    Not to say that HH lacks good moments. The cast is certainly very good. It's nice to see the irritating wise-cracker Willis get his ass handed to him by a REAL tough-guy, James Coburn.

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    Duel of Hearts

    Duel of Hearts This is not SF, it is a 1992 costume drama set in Regency England - but it is worth a mention because of its cast. The heroine is Alison Doody , notable because she has the distinction of being not only a Bond girl but also female lead in an Indiana Jones film!

    The hero is Benedict Taylor, who managed to get the part of Bravo Two in Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace - not a big part, but anyone who has attended the TPM photo-signing conventions around the UK will have met him. Also of note to Star Wars fans - his sister is Femi Taylor , the babelicious dancer who played Oola in Return of the Jedi!

    And the villain? Michael York, veteran of both Babylon 5 and Seaquest DSV !

    Also of note is the plot; the Aristocratic babe Doody poses as a lady-in-waiting ... Sound familiar?

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