Ted (2012)

This is the magical story of a young boy whose teddy-bear magically came to life. Luckily for the viewing public, the story was written and directed by Seth McFarlane (Family Guy). We skip forward through the 1980s, to the present day. Ted (Seth MacFarlane - The Orville ) and his best buddy (Mark Wahlberg - The Big Hit ) are now a pair of thirty-something slackers ...

Wahlberg has a girlfriend ( Mila Kunis ) and is in line for promotion at work. He has to start acting like a grown-up, so his old friend Ted has to go.

The film is riddled with pop-culture references. There is even an extended cameo by Sam Jones - Ted's childhood hero from Flash Gordon ! Giovanni Ribisi ( The Gift ) pops up as Ted's stalker.

Ted 2 (2015)

This starts with Ted the Stoner Bear (Seth MacFarlane - The Orville ) marrying his girlfriend, Tammy Lynn the Boston Hoer. They decide to start a family, which results in a series of slapstick situations involving Ted, his best buddy John (Marky Mark Wahlberg – The Big Hit ) and various quantities of semen.

Unfortunately, when Ted tries to adopt a kid it is revealed that the US Government does not consider him to be a person. He was a slacker so his lack of citizenship was never an issue, but now the legal rights he took for granted are stripped from him. Luckily, he and John find a pro-bono lawyer ( Amanda Seyfried ) who is willing to help.

The first movie focused on John’s relationship with Lori ( Mila Kunis ). Now he has divorced her, so there is a romance subplot with the lawyer. She is ten years younger so she does not get many Ted’s movie references, especially two that apply to her. Her name is Samantha L Jackson, making her the namesake of the actor from Kingsman . Also, her big emotive eyes and pointy feminine chin give her the same facial features as a certain character from Lord of the Rings .

Donny (Giovani Ribisi – The Gift ) is back, plotting to sabotage Ted’s law case. He wants Ted for himself – no mention is made of his creepy son.

The climax is at the NYC Comic-Con, where Guy (Patrick Warburton – The Tick ) and his new lover (Michael Dorn – Star Trek: TNG ) dress up as their Sci-Fi Alter-Egos The Tick & Lieutenant Worf and beat up nerds. Sam J Jones ( Flash Gordon ) also gets a couple of appearances in.

Season 1

• Seth MacFarlane ( The Orville ) as the voice & motion-capture for Ted
• Max Burkholder as John Bennett
• Alanna Ubach as Susan Bennett
• Scott Grimes as Matty Bennett
• Giorgia Whigham as Blaire Bennett

Ted (2024) [Season 1, Episode 1] Just Say Yes
Shown 11th January 2024

It is 1993, and John is sixteen years old. Ted (Seth MacFarlane - The Orville ) is still living with the family, although his rough-around-the-edges humour is called out by John's Politically Correct cousin Blaire Bennett ( Giorgia Whigham ).

Ted screwed up and gets enrolled in High School with John as punishment. He plans to get expelled, but the Principal ( Penny Jerrold Johnson ) prefers to make him her personal project. Ted still plots to get expelled. However, his schemes just create problems for other people. Cousin Blaire is put in the firing line.

This story has been split into two thirty-minute episodes. It is not a laugh-a-minute experience like the movies. Instead it seems intended as thought-provoking, like the later Seasons of The Orville as opposed to straight-up comedy Family Guy.

Ted (2024) [Season 1, Episode 2] My Two Dads
Shown 11th January 2024

Ted and John prank-call the school bully, pretending to be the boy's long-lost father. Their prank gets out of hand, and they end up long-distance parenting him for real.

John's dad has to go to the doctor for a colonoscopy. He insists that John's Politically Correct cousin Blaire Bennett ( Giorgia Whigham ) accompany him.

Ted (2024) [Season 1, Episode 3] Ejectile Dysfunction
Shown 11th January 2024

Ted and John want to rent a porno movie from the video store. They get fake IDs.

Ted (2024) [Season 1, Episode 4] Subways, Bicycles, and Automobiles
Shown 11th January 2024

John's Politically Correct cousin Blaire Bennett ( Giorgia Whigham ) insists Ted accompany her to a halloween party as her designated driver. She is dressed as Catwoman from Batman Returns , while Ted is Wicket from Return of the Jedi .

Ted (2024) [Season 1, Episode 5] Desperately Seeking Susan
Shown 11th January 2024

John's Politically Correct cousin Blaire Bennett ( Giorgia Whigham ) interferes in her relatives' marriage. She accuses her uncle of storming off every time someone confronts him.

John's mother Susan wanted to become a teacher when she was younger. When the English teacher gets fired for having a mental breakdown, John and Ted convince the headmistress ( Penny Jerrold Johnson ) to hire Susan as the substitute teacher.

Ted (2024) [Season 1, Episode 6] Loud Night
Shown 11th January 2024

John's father is sick of everyone turning against him. He makes a wish on a falling star to have someone that takes his side ... and his child-hood toy comes to life. Not a teddy-bear, but a toy dump-truck. This leaves Ted sidelined for most of the episode, as Donny the Dump-truck becomes the politically incorrect one for the week.

John's Politically Correct cousin Blaire Bennett ( Giorgia Whigham ) has her college friend stay over for the Xmas holidays. It turns out that Blaire is bisexual, and she is having a lesbian relationship with her friend. Now she adopts the same strategy she accused her uncle of - she storms off every time someone confronts her.

Ted (2024) [Season 1, Episode 7] He's Gotta Have It
Shown 11th January 2024

John wants to lose his virginity. The good news is he meets a pretty girl from his class who is interested in spending time with him. The bad news is that Ted tries to help by pretending John has a more active sex life.

Ted (2024)

Ted (2024) [Season 1 , Episode 1 ]
Shown th October 2025

Reviewed in our special supplement