ORBzine - 2000.08 Television Reviews - Mortal Kombat: Conquest

ORBzine TV Review - "Mortal Kombat: Conquest" August 2000

Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 1-2] Warrior Eternal
Shown 3rd Week August 2000
Shown 19-20 November 2001

Yes, after 2 predictable films [based on a bloody VIDEO GAME!] we now get a TV show.

The cast are not B-list stars, as before - they're non-entities. Of course, they don't have to be; it is the stunt-doubles who do all the fighting. Out of the entire cast of Mortal Kombat 2, the only one to have any kind of a career is Ray Park. That was his first role, where he was a stunt double: since then he has done

  • Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace [Darth Maul]
  • Legend of Sleepy Hollow, The [Headless Horseman]
  • X-Men [Toad]

    The Producers include Robert Friedman, who worked as a Producer on Xena

    Kung Lao [the hero] defeats Sheng [the villain's henchman]. As punishment, Sheng is sent to labour in the cobalt mines. However, he plots to escape and avenge himself on Kung Lao.

    Kung Lao's choice is simple: train more warriors to defend Earth Realm, or retire and live a normal life.

    Kung Lao wants to marry the Baron's daughter. However, the Baron will not allow daddy's little girl to wed a penniless monk. Kung Lao tries to elope with the girl ...

    Meanwhile, the girl's bodyguard has a love-hate relationship with a thief-girl called Taja [ Kristanna Loken ] he captured ...

    In the second episode [part 2 of the Pilot] the female thief shows fighting ability.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 3] Cold Reality
    Shown 4th Week August 2000
    Shown 21st November 2001 [Wednesday]

    The 3 heroes set up home together, a la Friends. But the villain sends a secret order of Assassins after them ... This episode introduces Sub-Zero.



    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 4] Immortal Kombat
    Shown 4th week August 2000
    Shown 22nd November 2001 [Thursday]

    This episode introduces Omegis [ Angelica Bridges ], an immortal witch-woman who takes on the guise of a Baywatch babe!



    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 5] The Essense
    Shown 1st Week September 2000
    Shown 23rd November 2001 [Friday]

    Shao Khan, evil Emperor of Outworld, is worried about plotters against him. The Essense, a mystical item looted from a conquered realm, has been taken from his control and hidden in Earth Realm. Princess Kitana travels to Earth to move the Essense before Shao Khan recaptures it.

    Meanwhile, in Earth-Realm Taja and the 2 guys get sweaty ... in a sauna. They learn not to trust strangers.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 6] Noob Saibad
    Shown 2nd Week September 2000
    Shown 26th November 2001 [Monday]

    The moral of the story is that pride cometh before the fall. Siro seeks help to become the Ultimate Warrior - he meets a bisexual tarot reader and her lesbian handmaiden, both dressed in skimpy swimsuits. However, the 2 babes plot to liberate the title character, an African-American Ninja with the supernatural power of being an oil-slick.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 7] Debt of the Dragon
    Shown 2nd Week September 2000
    Shown 27th November 2001 [Tuesday]

    The heroes are victims of an extortion attempt by a mafia-type organisation called the Black Dragon. The leader is the babelicious Jola, who wears tied-back hair and black roll-neck sweater. She makes a deal with her ex-lover, the arch-villain Sheng Sung, then lets her hair down and dresses in a skimpy miniskirt and leather bra. Another notable change is in the fight scenes: the skinny model-type babe becomes a beefy thunder-thighed stunt-double.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 8] Undying dream
    Shown 3rd Week September 2000
    Shown 28th November 2001 [Wednesday]

    Taja has a vision of her father. Unfortunately she is kidnapped by arch-villain Sheng Sung, and imprisoned with him in the cobalt mines of Outworld. Vorpax [ Tracey Douglas ], Sheng Sung's female sidekick, is duplicitous as ever.

    Taja tries to locate her father, who is also a prisoner in the mines. Meanwhile, Siro and Kung Lao try to track her down. They discover she has a BF called Stefan.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 9] Quan Chi
    Shown 3rd Week September 2000
    Shown 29th November 2001 [Thursday]

    Kung Lao is mugged by 3 babes in leather bikinis. These Charlie's Demons put the 3 heroes under a spell that brings out the worst in their personalities. Jaime Prestley [Poison Ivy 3] pops up.

    Siro is a drunken lech, who gets beaten up by the only frigid tavern wench ever seen. Taja is a kleptomaniac, stealing from comrades and corpses. Kung Lao becomes paranoid, obsessed with revenge. Luckily for them, Raiden the friendly Thunder God is willing to help out.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 10] Unholy Alliance
    Shown 1st Week November 2000
    Shown 30th November 2001 [Friday]

    Sheng Sung teams up with the Lord of Death, who was humiliated in battle by our heroes in a prior episode.

    Jennifer Renton pops up as token babe. Taja keeps flirting with Siro - then he wins a bet with her when he defeats her in a fight. She is his slave for 24 hours, and he makes her wash his feet.

    Kung Lao has visions of his dead GF

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 11] Thicker Than Blood
    Shown 2nd Week November 2000
    Shown 3rd December 2001 [Monday]

    Scorpion is training an army in Earth Realm. Siro and Kung Lao cannot find anyone worth training. Siro is visited by his ex-GF, who left him for his brother. Now the brother has gone missing ...

    The ex-GF and Taja make friends, and discuss Siro. Will Taja eventually sleep with the poor lunk?

    Of note, the episode was directed by Reza Badiyi, veteran of the Mission: Impossible TV show.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 12] Shadow of a Doubt
    Shown 3rd Week November 2000
    Shown 4th December 2001 [Tuesday]

    The Emperor sends out a lightning-powered Ninja with orders to kill Kung Lao. His second assassin is Melina, who looks like a vampire in Buffy . He uses sorcery to make her look like Princess Kitana ...

    Sheng Sung has to save Kung Lao's life: the only thing that is keeping the Outworld champion alive is the fact he has to face the Earthworld champion! Luckily the pleasures of Earthworld are too seductive for Melina ...

    Siro spends most of the episode off-camera, chasing the Ninja. Raiden pops up at the end to give Kung Lao a telling off for thinking with his groin.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 13] Twisted Truths
    Shown 5th December 2001 [Wednesday]

    A young fighter called Tomas arrives at the trading post and claims he is a Mortal Kombat fighter. They give him a test. Tomas and Siro start fighting on a full stomach, without taking an hour to let their dinner settle. They start full-contact sparring without even a warm-up.

    Siro's GF Magda tells him that her best friend was murdered. It looks like Tomas is the obvious culprit. However, Taja wants to date him ...

    The Emperor of Outworld is behind the plot, using both the babelicious Tracy Douglas and a new warrior called Reptile. We also get to see a martial artist go up against a WWF wrestler type.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 14] Festival of Death
    Shown 6th December 2001 [Thursday]

    A travelling show comes to town - the Festival of Death, led by Kitana's duplicitous aide Kali. However, the show is a front for brutal fighting matches.

    Vorpax [ Tracy Douglas ] discovers the truth ... Quan Chi is building an undead army. Meeka, his personal slave [blonde hair, leather bikini] is on hand to do the dirty work.

    Kung Lao trains a lady friend of his - Lori [ Brook Burns ], a volumptuous blonde in a string bikini. She wants to become a professional fighter, and thinks she has what it takes to compete in the matches.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 15] The Serpent & The Ice
    Shown 7th December 2001 [Friday]

    The Emperor, Shao Khan, decides to have Kung Lao killed. He sends two of the best killers - Scorpion and Sub-Zero. However, their hatred for each other is greater than their hatred of Kung Lao.

    The Earthworld team try to find their enemies' weaknesses by tracking down the people they knew before they served Shao Khan. Unfortunately, Scorpion has the same idea and sends his ninjas to attack Sub-Zero's family.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 16] Kreeya
    Shown 10th December 2001 [Monday]

    A band of female warriors break into the Cobalt mines and take Sheng Sung off as a prisoner. Vorpax [ Tracey Douglas ] shows her true allegience.

    The shield maidens, led by Queen Kreeya [ Fabiana Udendo - Austin Powers ], want to defeat Shao Khan and take over Outworld. Kreeya offers an alliance to Earthrealm's warriors. Can they trust her?

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 17] The Master
    Shown 11th December 2001 [Tuesday]

    The vengeful Vorpax [ Tracey Douglas ] unleashes the sorceror/sifu who taught Sheng Sung. He hunts down his pupil and mortally wounds him. The dying Sheng Sung calls on his lost love, the witch Omegis [ Angelica Bridges ]. However, she also wants him dead - he dumped her in favour of his career.

    This show has given the viewers quite a few interesting twists over the last few weeks, despite the fact it's basically a punch-up martial arts show. The characters show a lot more depth than most TV characters do, especially the villains.

    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 18] In Kold Blood
    Shown 12th December 2001 [Wednesday]

    Kreeya makes a deal with Reptile. She tries to set up more hives in Earth Realm - our heroes try to stop her, with the aid of gunpowder bombs and the Noob Saibad lesbians.



    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 19] Flawed Victory
    Shown 13th December 2001 [Thursday]

    The Evil Emperor pits Quan Chi and his three sluts against Sheng Sung. Siro and Taja get caught in the middle of the villains' private war, and we finally see them work out their sexual tension. Well, sort of.



    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 20]
    Shown 4th February 2001 [Sunday]
    Shown 14th December 2001 [Friday]

    Kreeya [ Fabiana Udendo ] is still at war with Outworld. Her daughter Vorpax [ Tracey Douglas ] is still scheming, as untrustworthy as ever. She plots with our 3 heroes, but also has plans for Sheng Sung.



    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 21] Stolen Lies
    Shown 11th February 2001 [Sunday]
    Shown 17th December 2001 [Monday]

    Siro catches a thief - Kathleen Kinmont [Renegade], a friend of Taja's. She leads the heroes to a hidden city that worships a mysterious god, Shaka.

    Kung Lao has visions of the Outworld Emperor, Shao Khan, along with some SPFX exerpts from the movie Mortal Kombat 2: Annihilation.



    Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 22 - Finale] Vengeance
    Shown 18th February 2001 [Sunday]
    Shown 17th December 2001 [Monday]

    Finally, the evil Emperor of Outworld gets his revenge. One by one his Shadow Priests knock off the regular characters, with Raiden and his 3 stooges left to the last.



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