As in all good monster movies, and as befits the relatively small budget, the monster is implied rather than seen.
Dorf, along with his associates (a kill-crazy loonie and a raw amateur) end up taking a group of hostages. Unfortunately, there is a family of serial killers in the building!
While the external shots are taken from exotic locales like France and Moscow, the interiors are all shot in Ireland.
This certainly ticks the boxes for a modern horror. It is a supernatural suspense thriller, set in an isolated location - an old mansion in the English countryside. However, it is relatively original.
This was written and directed by Leo McGuigan . And yes, he also produced and edited it. On one hand, we can consider this quite an achievement considering the minimal funding available to the NI Film industry. However, if we compare this to professionally-made films there are a couple of very simple mistakes.
Firstly, the writer copied so heavily from a certain famous slasher movie that to name that movie would give away the entire third act. Seriously.
Secondly, the director used ambient lighting for the whole thing. If it were shot outdoors on a bright summer day then this would be forgiveable, but it takes place at night and mostly indoors so everything is in shadows. The TV show X-Files was notorious for doing this, but that was a deliberate artistic choice whereas this looks like it was due to the limited budget.
We get a series of flashbacks to her fall, first as a harlot and then as a vamp, at the hands of the Captain (Jonny Lee Miller - Trainspotting).
Neil Jordan delivers a slow-moving character drama, with characteristic visual flourishes like dream sequences of a river of blood.
There seems to be a satanic cult on the island. It embodies a confusion of Xian Satanism mixed with Keltic Paganism and Viking runes in a massive mixture of different cultures.
The only thing that seems original about this story is that it is set on the Isle of Man. However, even the setting seems to owe more to the Scottish island in The Wicker Man
This was filmed only three years after The Faculty , but Ms Harris makes the transition from schoolgirl to motherhood as well as can be expected.
The father of the family (Rupert Evans - The Man in the High Castle ) discovers that a murder once took place in their new home. A cheating wife was murdered by her angry husband in the year 1902, and he later went on a killing spree. Soon, the protagonist begins to suspect his own wife may be unfaithful. Then she mysteriously goes missing ...
As the story develops, the protagonist is more and more stressed out by mysterious events. He begins to psychologically unravel, as he suspects his house is haunted by the murderer. This basically seems like a low-budget version of The Shining from the father's perspective.
Getting in is easy, but then they start to get bumped off by a serial killer.
A crew of people in hazmat suits are rounding up the residents. Strangely the hazmat crew have no weapons, so they are easy prey for the violent locals.
This is nowhere near as good as the similarly-themed Cassandra Crossing .
The protagonist is a woman who is recovering from a mentally traumatic event. She hires an online exorcist in order to summon an angel, so it can grant her a wish.
Are we seeing events from the perspective of a character who is halucinating? Is the exorcist a con-man? Or is it all actually real?
Unfortunately, the victim turns out to be involved in black magic. This increases the suspense quite a bit.
The Final Girl and her BF go for a romantic getaway in a remote cottage. The BF brings his bimbo sister, who brings a yuppie git she just had a one-night stand with.
The stereotypical Gypsy girl gives them a warning, as does the local Police officer. Apparently they already knew there was a serial killer working in the area. Talk about genre blindness!
There are some interesting takes on certain tropes. They actually have cell-phone reception in the countryside, which is a change from the usual .
There is a generation gap at work. The thugs they fall foul of are younger, just tweenagers. Their leader is a young-looking Jack O'Connell ( ).
Naturally, things escalate. Quite beyond the level of suspension of disbelief, in fact. Bullying becomes torture porn, but the actual ending is so shocking as to be unbelievable.
The new family's daughter was Nathan's girlfriend in Misfits .
The family live in an enormous stately home in the English countryside. Yes, this is basically a larger version of the old Cabin in the Woods trope. The Final Girl cannot remember anything about why she left, but it must have been quite serious. However, the longer she stays the creepier her family becomes.
James Cosmo ( Braveheart ) is the head of the household. His wife is on some form of medication, and they have two full-grown stay-at-home children.
This may have the low budget and cheap SPFX of a typical US SyFy made-for-TV movie, but the script and direction put it a notch above them. It is incredibly tongue-in-cheek, with a level of humourous in-jokes matched only by the level of uncensored sex and violence.
There is only one question on the paper, and eighty minutes to answer it. The result is a real-time psychological drama about a diverse group of people trapped in a confined environment.
Rather than use their real names or their candidate numbers, they decide to use nicknames. These nicknames are reminiscent of the codenames in Reservoir Dogs, although they end up having unfortunate racist overtones.
This was written, directed and produced by a single person - typical of the lower end of the straight-to-video market, to be honest.
That night a gang of four faceless, free-running hoodie-wearing thugs break into the school and start bumping off the staff. First they isolate the building, like in Assault on Precinct 13. Then they stalk and kill them, like in Aliens . That is about the level of this film.
Roxanne McKee is a junior member of staff, seen working out in the gymn. But unlike her role in Game of Thrones , she does not contribute any toplessness to this film. A pity, because the film has nothing else to recommend it.
The original story is let down by shakey held-held camerawork.
A male and female, bickering as always, are driving through countryside. Their car breaks down on a lonely country road, so the man goes to a local farmhouse for help. They get chased around in the dark quite a bit.
The Cardinal calls in archaeologist Stephen Dillane ( Freakdog ). The archaeologist's wife (Kerry Fox ) hits a pedestrian - Cassie ( Christina Ricci ), presumably named after Cassandra the Seeress of Troy. As with the character in the Aeneid, she forsees disasters but nobody believes her.
This is one of a handful of recent horror movies filmed on the Isle of Man.
Why this is set in County Cork is never explained. This was actually filmed in Northern Ireland, as anyone who has been to locations on the North Antrim coast can verify. Certainly, if those areas can pass for Westeros in Game of Thrones they can pass for County Cork, but why should they have to? The story could have been set on Rathlin, or even on an island off County Donegal. The result is that there are no actual County Cork accents in this film!
The victims are a tree surgeon, his wife and their baby son. They live in a house in remote untouched woodland that the government is about to sell off to a logging company. Unfortunately, the man discovers that the forest is host to a parasitic fungus. The local monsters are not like Warwick Davis in Leprechaun , they are more like the albino creatures in The Descent .
Classic 1970s Italian horror film Zombie Flesh Eaters was banned in the UK and labelled a Video Nasty primarily because of a scene involving a victimís eyeball being impaled. However, this effort has a full cinema release despite having TWO scenes where a characterís eyeball is jeopardised..
Five young women meet up before they head off on a hiking expedition. Yes, this is meant to be a low-budget version of The Descent , but it is far inferior. The women all look like models, although one is meant to be ex-military. Another one is meant to be a glamour model, so she wears slightly more makeup than the others. Also, she has a bossy boyfriend (Tamer Hussein - Wrong Turn 3 ).
The five models go for a walk in the woods. They soon discover the place is overcrowded. A dodgy Russian man and his two women are camped nearby. Also, three lads are camping in the woods - potential love interests for the girls. Of course, that night people start to disappear.
This is a very disappointing film, and the terrible cast is not the worst of it. For example, there is a skinny-dipping scene with full-frontal nudity ... but despite having FIVE females in the group not one of them gets naked. Yes, the nudity is all male! Likewise, the kill scenes are all lacklustre and boring.
This is the first film by female director Leigh Janiak .
A group of Young Offenders get sent to do some manual labour in a remote village. It turns out that one of the British railway companies somehow dumped all their disused carriages in a field in the middle of nowhere. The bad boys (and girls) must strip out the valuable metals. Unfortunately the local yokels are a violent bunch. They are so remote they do not seem to have television, so they make their own entertainment. It seems that their favourite is torture-porn, and since they cannot watch Saw they just act it out using whatever they find lying around in the farmyard.
The protagonists are driving round narrow country lanes with high hedges
For some reason, despite being set in the Irish Republic this was actually filmed in Cornwall in England.
John Farrow (Clive Owen - King Arthur ) is a welder working on the top of a skyscraper in the middle of London. This is the perfect location for some Omen -style antics. Our hero lives with his wife ( Carice Houten ) twelve-year-old daughter Mia (Farrow, an in-jokey reference to Rosemary's Baby ) in a house in the suburbs. The daughter discovers an old scrap of paper that someone hid in a hollow tree. Soon, she is stalked by the ghostly spectre named Hollowface.
The two childrens' stories are intertwined, but seem to be in different genres. The Spanish monster is CGI, while the English one is a more human, more real threat. In Catholic Spain the boy's mother wants the local priest (Daniel Bruhl - Captain America: Civil War ) to conduct an exorcism. Back in England, Clive Owen takes his daughter to child psychologist Kerry Fox . Of course, both strategies backfire.
The twist in the end is actually quite predictable, but the film is well-made and reasonably watchable. However, despite the ending being easy to guess it seems a lot of people on the internet did not understand it.
The schoolboys are nasty pieces of work. Then they get kidnapped by their schoolteacher, who has apparently been driven insane by their actions. He subjects them to torture in order to teach them his English Language class. Yes, this is torture porn combined with basic schooling.
The children are not zombies, like in The Girl With All The Gifts , or telekinetic alien-spawn like in Children Of The Damned . Despite being creepily silent they somehow communicate with each other. Their super-genius abilities allow them to override the bunker's automated systems.
This is an updated type of Found Footage, where everything is seen first-person by video files from the protagonists' headsets. However, it suffers from the main problem of all small-budget horror films. It was written and directed by a single person.
This is basically a formulaic film noir, with the twists that the Private Eye is psychic and the Femme Fatale is a teenage girl. Farmiga is blatantly manipulative and untrustworthy, so the obvious Primal Fear twist could hardly be unexpected. It never occurs to Strong that someone might be able to Inception him.
The high point is when a pretty girl ( Karen Gillen ) flirts with the victim at the bus station.
The victims discover they all have something in common. To go with the Social Network theme, their transgression involves Internet bullying. Now they get a taste of their own medicine as they are mentally tortured by a stranger on the other end of a computer connection.
The gynaecologist tells her that she no longer has control of her mind and body, and that the baby is now the one really in charge. Unfortunately the baby seems obsessed with bloodthirsty revenge on the people responsible for its father's death. Or perhaps the mother's love of late night black-and-white horror movies has something to do with it.
Despite being a low-budget indie movie, this has the advantage of the film-makers' connections with the well-established acting community in London. A couple of the targets ( Kate Dickie, Gemma Whelan ) are recognisable faces from Game of Thrones .
A trio of young women have a night out in Dublin, but get abducted by some scumbags and held prisoner. The kidnappers include a couple of moronic eurotrash thugs who make no effort to keep the girls in a saleable condition. Luckily, this is not a sex trafficking operation. No, it is an online snuff movie operation.
This basically turns into torture porn. The villains inflict pain and suffering on their victims purely for the sadistic pleasure of it. However, when they eventually get their comeuppance it is not creative enough to be karmic justice - and thus not enough to give the audience the cartharsis they require.
Predictably, this has one thing in common with all bad horror movies. It was written and directed by one person. As with Braxton Butcher , it suffers from the flaws of a derivative script and a poor lighting budget. However, in this film's case the main problem is not mere unoriginality. The subject matter is so grim that it is practically unwatchable.
There is a trope in Hollywood films called The Magic Negro. Basically, it means that the token ethnic character is a mystical witch-doctor of some description. In The Commitments a character states that Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland. This group has a token African-American, but the magical outsiders are actually the Irish travellers.
So which Irish monster has been animated by CGI? Well, for some inexplicable reason it is not an Irish monster at all. It is the Roc - yes, the Arabian monsterous bird from Sinbad the Sailor !
This was made for TV, specifically for the US SyFy cable TV channel. The budget is predictably low, with fade-out breaks for the insertion of adverts. The cinematography is mediocre, with the exception of a couple of spectacular death scenes. That said, these are the deaths of Irish supporting characters rather than of the six central Yanks!
The visuals are impressive, as it was shot on location in the Scottish highlands. This is strange, because Sawney Bean and his family are supposed to have plagued Ayrshire and Galloway on the south-west coast
The best way to describe this is by saying it is like Shrooms , only good.
The protagonist is mentally deranged, and believes he is being stalked by demonic entities. In an effort to fend them off, he will not sleep. As a result, he is suffering from sleep deprivation ... which is known to cause halucinations.
He hangs out with two of his friends, a married couple in their late twenties. They let him stay at their apartment, but slowly begin to realise how mentally troubled he is.
There is a mysterious power cut in the middle of the night. The characters run around in the dark, clutching kitchen knives. No good will come of this.
Surely with guns and gangsters it is a simple crime thriller. How is it a slasher movie? Well, look at it this way. There is a mad killer out for revenge, and he wants to kill everyone in a certain area. Certainly, the climactic Third Act - with its Final Girl and a nail-gun - would do well as a scene in any mainstream slasher film.
The host is Felix's brother, a war veteran who survived three tours in Afghanistan. He wants to get answers about what happened to his brother. The victims are not particularly likable, but their host is a deranged sociopath who puts them through a Torture Porn version of Spin the Bottle. This is a nice counter-blast to revenge films like I Spit On Your Grave ... The audience's sympathies are twisted to alternate between Felix and the others.
The cast is high quality, illustrated by the fact that some of the actors have gone on to bigger and better things as royalty in glossy TV shows. Jennie Jacques became the mistress of Linus Roache in Vikings , while Alexander Vlahos became the brother of Louis XIV in Versailles .
A beardy vampire in a cowboy hat is hanging around the barn. He has a feud with the mother of all vamps, Lillith herself. As
In common with all the bad horror movies these days, this was written, directed and edited by a single person. The result is typically self-indulgent crap.
The protagonists discover that their belongings get sabotaged when they are not in the room. There is nobody else evident within the building for most of the story, and the sabotage is somehow carried out in complete silence. However, they do not leave the house or call for help.
The protagonists are ghost-hunters. This explains the security cameras, as well as the portable EMF reader. However, nothing the characters say or do seems believable. They are looking for unusual phenomena, but seem incapable of recognising anything as being out-of-the-ordinary.
Eventually they realise something is up, and call in some specialists to help investigate.
This was the first Hammer Horror movie in thirty years, and as such is quite a disappointment. It was written in England but filmed in Ireland on the cheap, the Timothy Spall character seems to be a reference to Lord Summerisle in The Wicker Man but the plot basically rips off Pet Sematery . Unoriginal and uninspiring.
US Highway patrolman Nicholas Cage ( Face Off ) is traumatised by a road-traffic accident.
Cage goes to the mysterious island of Summers Isle, which is run on strict Feminist principles. Females are educated and given positions of authority, whereas males are beasts of burden to be exploited for physical labour. Just like everywhere else in the English-speaking world.
The film's overly-convoluted plot leads to the inevitable climax. The film-makers wanted a family-friendly certificate, so they could not show the torture scene. Instead they just have sound-effects while Nicholas Cage narrates what is happening to him In other words, they turned it into an unintentional comedy.
A pair of American bible-bashers, a young singer and her cowboy-hat-wearing boyfriend, are invited to preach in a small town in Scotland. Yes, apparently some people in Scotland have stopped believing in Angels!
The locals do not seem to have much of a Scotch Presbyterian heritage, instead making numerous references to the ancient Pagan gods. Things happen predictably, but this time there is a Final Girl instead of the male protagonist of the original.
The team discover a stash of human bodies. Rather than the cat's lair, they have stumbled across the dumping ground of a serial killer. Despite knowing they are in imminent jeopardy, they adopt the standard victimology for this kind of movie. In other words, they run around while flashing their torches and shouting very loudly.
The film was written and directed by a single person, always a bad sign when it comes to a low-budget film. Nick Blood is best known as an Englishman in an American TV show, but here in a UK movie he adopts an American accent. One of the supporting cast uses her own accent, which does not belong anywhere near the real-life Exmoor in England. This reveals the truth about this movie. It was shot on location in Northern Ireland!