But enough off-topic chit-chat, it is time to once again direct our gaze... into the future.
(RASSM THRONG: The future, Farmboy?)
That's right, friends for life. Let us all look to the future. All the way... to RASSM in the year 2010....
In the year 2010...
... George Lucas himself will finally show up on the #rassm IRC chat channel. No-one will recognize him, however, because he will pretend to be a voluptuous blond coed named Amber.
... Jevon Den Ridder will finally get married. It'll be a very small, private ceremony, since the only people present will be Den Ridder, his new wife, the minister... and the people who haven't kill-filed him.
... Hell will completely freeze over. In related news, George Lucas announces that Star Wars sequels will be made, James King will win his lawsuit against Rich Handley, and Sean Walsh will post something genuinely funny.
In the year 2010...
... Sith War XXII will have become so lame that all participants decide to chip in to hire former staff-writers of Family Matters, Growing Pains and Full House to spruce things up.
... The Spice Girls will announce that they are very interested in making a cameo appearance in the next Star Wars sequel which will then be in production. This announcement will get a chuckle out of the manager of the local K-Mart, where they all work.
... In its gazillionth re-release, The Empire Strikes Back will finally pass E.T. in terms of all-time Box Office success, prompting Lucas to place a good-natured ad in Variety which will show the funky cyborg Lobot royally kicking the Extra Terrestrial's sorry old Spielbergian ass.
... Keanu Reeves *almost* gets cast in the new Star Wars sequels, when an ageing and confused George Lucas forgets for a tense few seconds that there *are* other people.
In the year 2010...
... The RASSM community is shocked when it is announced that Star Wars star Ewan McGregor has died of a drug overdose. What is even more shocking, however, is the news that well-known RASSMer roc... still hasn't.
... The 1.000.000th post will reach RASSM and guess what? It's the Sam Jackson: Jedi Motherfucker top ten list again!
... Initial excitement about Rich Handley being offered the job of writing the screenplay to the final episode in the Star Wars nonology... will soon turn to horror when Ain't It Cool News reports that the working title Handley's come up with is Episode IX: Star Trek Rulez.
... A group of Trekkies will announce on RASSM that they are now capable of quoting every line ever uttered in a Star Trek TV Show or film, that they can build working Transporters and Food Dispensers, and that they're able to use the cryo-stored brain of Roddenberry to render new episodes of the original series. Which means the only thing Trekkies still won't be able to do... is lose their virginity.
And finally, in the year 2010...
... A critically acclaimed filmmaker will accuse RASSM fanfic-author Chris Karno Layne of stealing one of his ideas. Apparently, the filmmaker in question is Woody Allen, and the idea is dating a teenager.
© Gerthein Boersma 1998-9
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