ORBzine - Almighty Johnsons, The TV Review

[Season 1 !Season 2 !Season 3 ]

Almighty Johnsons, The

Season 1

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 1, Episode 1] It's a Kind of Birthday Present
Shown 07/Feb/11

Our hero in this supernatural comedy-thriller is Axel, a tweenager who lives with a couple of flatmates (including Kesha Castle-Hughes ) in Auckland, New Zealand. On his 21st Birthday his brothers (including Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) take him to the woods and perform an arcane ceremony. This is no mere hazing - they are all the avatars of Norse gods, and he is now the reincarnation of Odin. Maybe this explains why there is no physical similarity between anyone in the family!

Odin must fulfil a quest, to mate with a locally-reincarnated goddess named Frig. Unfortunately none of them know who Frig's incarnation is, so it will be trial and error. Unbeknownst to the Gods, there is a gang of relatively attractive women out to prevent them from fulfilling the quest.

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 1, Episode 2] This is Where Duty Starts
Shown 14/Feb/11

The eldest brother, Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ), is still feeling the guilt of putting his best friend into a Persistent Vegetative State 15 years ago, when they were 21.

Yes, the character is meant to be a mere 36 years old (though he looks forty-something).

Odin lets himself be influenced by Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ), whose plot is to get Odin to shag every available woman until he locates the goddess Frig. Naturally, this scheme is bound to backfire.

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 1, Episode 3] God's Gift to Zebras
Shown 21/Feb/11

Axel realises that a lot of girls his own age are now showing an interest in him. He flirts with a pretty librarian, and she tells him she is Frigg. She is also familiar with game-speak, so viewers should pick up on what the Gods miss.

Ty the ice-god meets Helen, a woman who owns a bar and asks him to fix her fridge. She's interested in him, and actually makes him feel warm. He's too dumb to work out she may be a goddess herself. But things are bound to end badly.

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 1, Episode 4] You Gotta Love Life, Babe
Shown 28/Feb/11

Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) the PR guy hears about an illicit sex tape. He sends his assistant to get hold of it. His brother, Ty the freeze-guy, helps her because he has a crush on her.

Odin and Mike the eldest brother have to do a roof-repair. Kesha Castle-Hughes has a single scene as Gaia the flatmate, present to provide an exposition info-dump. She's a bit like Willow in Buffy (but without the Wicca powers or lesbian subplot).

Olaf the Grandfather God has impregnated yet another one of his girlfriends. She's a bit annoying, and he has an inability to make a commitment. Will anyone take any responsibility in this family? That's the question this episode asks, but it's just pressing the point after last ep.

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 1, Episode 5] This Is Not Washing Powder, My Friend
Shown 07/Mar/11

Gaia ( Kesha Castle-Hughes ) has her dad stay over. He claims to be a veggie anarchist pacifist type, but he's still a psycho dad when it comes to the men in his daughter's life. He has an instinctive hatred towards Odin.

Odin and the other flatmate discover a bag of cocaine in their car. They don't know what to do with it, but before this turns into a comedy of errors the cops turn up.

The evil wimmin are still plotting something. They are so much better organised than the blokes, but they are still prone to overconfidence.

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 1, Episode 6] Goddesses, Axl, Come In All Forms
Shown 14/Mar/11

An old granny is killed by a meteorite. This is a sign, so the guys go on a road trip to her funeral. The Goddesses have a plan too, so they all end up at a motel together.

The gang meet a fellow god - Thor! But as grandpa warns, the thing about Thor is, he's barking mad!. Luckily Thor thinks he knows who the Frigg is.

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 1, Episode 7] Bad Things Happen
Shown 21/Mar/11

Odin and his flatmate party at Anders' place, with three babelicious ex-one-night-stands of his. Unfortunately the bimbos want to get even with the poor man because he didn't give them commitment.

Elsewhere, the God of Games goes to a casino. He wins, of course, so the management think he is cheating. There are other effects for him, as the wheel of Karma turns.

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 1, Episode 8] I Can Give You Frigg
Shown 28/Mar/11

Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) comes up with a plan to find the Frigg. Two, in fact - he makes a deal with the Love Goddess, to make sure she doesn't kill the Frigg. Grandpa has a similar plan, which involves the female Oracle.

Mike's coma buddy bonds with his ex-GF, who is now Mike's wife. Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) is distraught at the thought of his marriage falling apart, but Anders hopes to get a share of the book deal.

Finally, everyone closes in on the Frigg. But the evil Goddess is ahead of everyone.

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 1, Episode 9] Hunting Reindeer On Slippery Rocks
Shown 04/Apr/11

Odin dates Frigg. But he must win the approval of her dad - Loki!

The Ice God has problems with his own love life. He cannot control his power when he is asleep, so his GF risks death by hypothermia if she wants to cuddle.

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 1, Episode 10] Every Good Quest Has a Sacrifice
Shown 11/Apr/11

Axel and his flatmate, Gaia ( Kesha Castle-Hughes ), finally get it on. But he cannot get out of the marriage contract, the Johnsons are tied to the small print. A god from their family must marry a goddess from Loki's family. And Loki has played a trick of his own.

The other Gods have relationship problems of their own. Ty's GF gets released from hospital, but he knows that if they stay together he will accidentally freeze her to death. And Mike's GF is too close for comfort to her old BF.

Things are left open for the next Season ...

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Almighty Johnsons, The

Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 1 ]
Shown th October 2010 [Wednesday]

Almighty Johnsons, The

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  • Season 2

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 1] And Then She Will Come To You
    Shown 29/Feb/12

    Axel and his brothers are still looking for the Frigg. It has been 6 weeks, and everyone's life has fallen apart. Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) is living in Gaia's old room, playing games to win prizes. Ty is married to his sexually insatiable Goth-chick. Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) is en route to Norway, on a secret Quest of his own.

    We find out what happened to the gods' mother. She tries to buy them off the Quest - but will bribery work better than her other evil schemes did? And what is the Quest she sent Anders on?

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 2] Frigg Magnet
    Shown 07/Mar/12

    Colin, AKA Loki, decides to play another trick on our heroes. He and Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) end up competing in a game over the ownership of a pub.

    Odin-to-Be tries to work out how to be a man before he can be a god. But he also has to sort out his flatmate situation.

    The gods' manipulative mother tries to get Ty to talk to his ex-GF.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 3] Charlie Truman
    Shown 14/Mar/12

    Ty's wife, a Hell-god in the body of a Goth-chick, is destructive towards everyone around her. She makes an enemy out of everyone, even taking a knife to the hand-maiden! If this was an episode of Murder She Wrote, we would know she was about to be killed because there are so many suspects with good motives to kill her!

    The brothers try to talk some sense into Ty. Even his mother, manipulative bitch that she is, offers him some comfort. But does she have a deeper agenda?

    Gaia ( Kesha Castle-Hughes ) is back in town. But she's still angry at Axel. Worse, her psycho dad comes to town to find her. Is he a control freak, or is he genuinely trying to protect her from something terrible?

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 4] Death's Cleansing Embrace
    Shown 21/Mar/12

    Ty discovers who killed Eve - so much for the whodunit plot. It worked as a cliff-hanger, but now we experience Ty's shock as events proceed.

    Colin AKA Loki does not believe Eve died of natural causes. He blames Ty.

    The Doctor Goddess, the smartest and most ruthless of the Goddesses in Season One, has now decided that her only option was to become Loki's girlfriend. This is a major step down for the character, who was the most potent threat last Season.

    The episode's title is explained by Grandpa the seer.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 5] A Damn Fine Woman
    Shown 28/Mar/12

    Axl falls asleep in a dress, and wakes up as a woman. It seems his god-powers include shape-shifting, so they have kicked in. He has to find out why he changed, and how to change back.

    Ty's problem doesn't seem to be Colin/Loki at the moment. Worse - Dawn has put 2+2 together. She suspects the truth about how Eve died, but with Ty in the frame. Mother has to try a cover-up.

    Axl manages to have a girlie heart-to-heart with Gaia ( Kesha Castle-Hughes ).

    Axl's worst problem is that his best buddy, Zev, is a sexually overactive idiot with no boundaries.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 6] Folkmoot
    Shown 04/Apr/12

    Colin/Loki tries to kill Ty, so the others persuade Axel to convene a Folkmoot. Justice must be done, and it must be seen to be done.

    For some reason, the Goddess Doctor is no longer working in the hospital. She is sick of her alliance with Colin/Loki, and turns her attentions to Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ). He owns his own bar, of course. But first she must prove her Goddess powers, by getting the Handmaiden to fall in lust with Axel's nerdy sidekick.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 7] Effortless Manly Coolness
    Shown 11/Apr/12

    With Loki's subplot out of the way, the God community have to get on with things.

    Olaf the Seer goes off on a surfing trip. The female seer's ex-BF gets out of prison, so she welcomes him back. The two of them crash at Axel's place, so he takes it upon himself to sort them out.

    The wicked mother's will gets read. The Goddesses get first dibbs on her fortune. The seductress Goddess is in hospital scrubs again. Yes, the writers seem to have remembered that she has a career as well as a love life.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 8] Man-Flu
    Shown 18/Apr/12

    Axel gets the Flu. And as he nears a death-like state, the others begin to lose their powers. And if he dies, the city itself may be destroyed.

    Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) returns with a branch from the Tree of Life. However, without his powers of persuasion he cannot get it through customs. There are references to his quest - giants, dwarves and so on. The in-jokes take on a new meaning when you know that in reality, the actor was unavailable for filming half the Season because he was playing a dwarf in The Hobbit !

    Ty discovers that he is no longer the Ice-god Hod. This means that he can actually live as a man for a change. For instance, he can actually taste food!

    Grandpa starts to look his real age. But after the female seer shacked up with her ex-BF last ep, he gets a chance at some outside nookie himself.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 9] Everything Starts With Gaia
    Shown 25/Apr/12

    Gaia ( Kesha Castle-Hughes ) is acting strange again. Suddenly her father and ex-BF arrive, and act as if she is in danger again. A Norwegian Giant is after her!

    Odin and his brothers discover the truth about Gaia, and about her father's mysterious past.

    There is a cliff-hanger ending.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 10] Magical Fluffy Bunny World
    Shown 02/May/12

    Gaia ( Kesha Castle-Hughes ) still needs convincing, so Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) hands her over to the other Goddesses. But can they be trusted? After all, they tried to murder Axel more than once.

    Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) is a prick, as always. But now he has hooked up with a Goddess - his wife in Valhalla, it seems.

    The Gods assemble (although Loki is never mentioned - all for the best, of course). They plan to sort out their problems with the Giant.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 11] The House of Jerome
    Shown 09/May/12

    Having taken care of the Giant, the Norse gods have to deal with a gang of Maori gods. Yes, apparently other cultures' mythological figures are real too. But the Maori think Gaia ( Kesha Castle-Hughes ) is their goddess from their prophecy. Nobody knows which culture her goddess is from, never mind what her name is!

    Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) gets a chance at a contract with the fictional Norwegian equivalent of Ikea. But he has no memory of meeting the female Marketing Director. She insinuates herself in his life - what is her agenda?

    The Goddess doctor shows herself to have a bit of backbone. This is beginning to make up for her behaviour in the first half of the Season, where her sole contribution was to be Loki's regular lay.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 12] You Call This the Real World?
    Shown 16/May/12

    Gaia ( Kesha Castle-Hughes ) and Axel go on the run together. They hide out at a remote Bed & Breakfast, run by an eccentric couple.

    The Maori gods decide to camp out in Mike’s bar. This is not Mike’s only problem. Thanks to Granddad, he discovers what Colin (AKA Loki) has been planning. The SOB is still in the story!

    The Goddesses help Hod try to get his wish.

    Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) has to decide which woman will help him run his business. Dawn, the long-standing mortal assistant - or his Goddess GF.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 2, Episode 13] Does This Look Like Asgard?
    Shown 23/May/12

    It is the day of Gaia's god-hood. The Goddesses take her away for preparation, while the Maori gods hang out at Axel's place.

    Ty's God-Hood is gone, so he tries to seduce his ex-GF. Unfortunately he lost more than his God-Hood.

    Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) tries to sort things out with Helen. He also learns that there are worse things than Giants and Dwarves.

    Loki is still around, being himself as usual.

    Season 3

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 1] An Orchard of Trees
    Shown 04/Jul/13

    The main plot with Loki and the god-slayers is dealt with in passing. Instead, the main focus of this ep is the soap opera aspect - Axel and Gaia ( Kesha Castle-Hughes ) refuse to accept her link with Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ), and push their relationship into overdrive. Anders is treated like a villain, despite being a victim of circumstance himself.

    Ty, having lost his godhood, has also lost his chance with Dawn. He tries to win her back, but just comes across as a creepy stalker. And this gets worse when she starts to remember selective events ...

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 2] This Thing Inside
    Shown 11/Jul/13

    The important issues (Loki and the god-slayers) are ignored so we can focus on Axel and his Soap Opera. Gaia ( Kesha Castle-Hughes ) gives in to temptation and seeks out Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ). Then she feels guilty, so she lies to Axel.

    Axel takes his rage out on poor old Anders. Luckily, Michelle still has the magic stick.

    Tyrone manages to get Dawn to have dinner with him.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 3] Bergerbar
    Shown 18/Jul/13

    Axel's depression has reduced him to utter uselessness. His binge-drinking sabotages Zeb's every attempt to find a new flat-mate. Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) tries to get the Brothers to intervene. Will Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) help?

    Tyrone wants to sell his house. Unfortunately he forgets that it was his marital home, gifted to him by Colin - AKA Loki, god of mischief and fire.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 4] Like the Berserkers of Old
    Shown 25/Jul/13

    The team take on the God-slayers. But Anders' superpower means that he can brainwash them all at the same time!

    Colin attempts to hire Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) as the PR chief of the campaign for the office of City Mayor.

    Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) and Michelle move back to her place, which means they have to share with her mother - Lurvan ( Jennifer Ward-Leland ).

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 5] Unleash the Kraken!
    Shown 01/Aug/13

    Lurvan ( Jennifer Ward-Leland ) invites (okay, magically compels) the Johnsons to attend a fancy dress party. The brothers end up looking like the Village people.

    Odin gets to meet his father, so to speak. The two of them have a chance to bond.

    Zeb still insists on getting a new flatmate, who can actually afford to pay their share of the rent.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 6] And Then on to Norsewood
    Shown 08/Aug/13

    Axel's dad takes him to an extreme sports park, where he goes zorbing and what-not. Then they decide to go fishing. But Axel's dad has his own plans.

    Colin's election plan starts to take shape. He and Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) start to bond - ironically, Anders has more in common with him than with any of his brothers. Dawn starts to get involved too.

    Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) and Grandpa go gambling for money.

    Dawn is hard at work on Colin's campaign. Ty tries to forget Dawn by swopping cycle routes and dating a co-worker.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 7] Typical Auckland God
    Shown 15/Aug/13

    Axel has been dumped in Thor's town. Thor claims his hammer has been stolen by bandits. Axel discovers there is more to it than that.

    Axel also discovers another Goddess. She is always up for it, and has the power of infinite beer. Is she the Frigg?

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 8] The Asparagus Is Kicking In
    Shown 22/Aug/13

    It seems that Ragnarok is about to start. Grandpa and Axel go surfing. Last Season, Grandpa disclaimed all knowledge of the Maori gods. However, it turns out that his best buddy is the Maori god of the ocean!

    Colin asks Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) to help him seduce Dawn. Anders is naturally conflicted - Dawn is the only woman in the world he seems to regard as being out of bounds.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 9] Mike In the Mirror
    Shown 29/Aug/13

    Zeb comes up with a great idea. Much like Anders' Hovden Treasure idea from Season One, the plan is to let the Frigg come to them. They can host auditions for a local girl of Norwegian heritage to play Frigg in a fake beer commercial. Naturally, it all goes wrong ... but reveals another one of Odin's powers.

    Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) is suspicious of what his GF is hiding from him. And when Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) goes looking for the ditzy hippy woman, he discovers what the two of them are up to. But much like Zeb's plan, it draws too much public attention to the God business.

    Dawn gets a nudge from an unexpected source, and decides to confront Ty about what she saw.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 10] Playing God
    Shown 05/Sep/13

    This ep focuses on the stick - Ydrassil. Stacey can still pole-dance with it. Michelle can use it to cure cancer, and Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) has found her a big customer. Odin wants to get the hippy woman to use the stick to boost her own powers. And his plan seems to work ...

    Mikal is the bug in the ointment. He wants to stop them from abusing the stick ... Even if it means sabotaging the Frigg quest!

    Hod thinks Dawn finds him too clingy. Grandpa offers to help, with come choc-chip cookies.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 11] A Bit Like Buses Really
    Shown 12/Sep/13

    Michelle wages war on Mikael's possessions. Her love of the chainsaw as a tool of demolition is further explored. Then she goes after Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) - for revenge sex!

    Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) is too busy to worry. He can hunt the Frigg - he finds her home, but her brother is Heimdal, who has the greatest supernatural power yet. Can Mikael defeat him? After all, Mike took care of Loki!

    Odin and the others close in on the Frigg too. But she must make a choice. Which of the brothers will she decide on as her Odin? Heimdal knows that Mike will make the wrong choices.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 12] Late to the Point of Knowledge
    Shown 19/Sep/13

    Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) tries to make amends with Heimdal by introducing him to the one person he actually has something in common with. Unfortunately, Mike also ends up sleeping with someone he should not.

    Michelle has not finished getting revenge on Mikael. She tries to corner Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) to get some revenge sex from him. Poor Anders wants a serious relationship with her, for what its worth.

    Almighty Johnsons, The Almighty Johnsons, The [Season 3, Episode 13] The End of the World as We Know It
    Shown 26/Sep/13

    Michelle makes a comeback, but it is a temporary situation. She is kept alive by her god-hood, and when it ascends her body will die.

    The big day has been selected. It will be tomorrow, so the guys have one night to say goodbye. Hod and Dawn prepare a video presentation to help her remember in case she forgets him. Mike (Timothy Balme - Braindead ) takes Michelle and Anders (Dean O'Gorman - Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ) to a casino for the night. Grandpa takes both his girlfriends on a drinking binge.

    When the gods ascend, it is not the human part of the Johnsons that will ascend. The Godhood will ascend, but the mortal shell will remain. This means that their friends and co-workers will not remember any of them. For people who met Colin Gunderson (formerly known as Loki) that will not be a bad thing.