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Herc (Kevin Sorbo - Andromeda ) is now a peaceful farmer. Zeus visits ... and we get flashbacks to the previous films.
The Minotaur is not a mindless beast, he has evil plans that only Herc can stop.
Herc's wife ( Tawny Kitaen ) and children are incinerated by Hera. He has to choose between revenge and helping a person in need. Luckily his best buddy, Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ), goes off to help the needy.
Herc's rollicking rampage of revenge is disrupted when he has to help a damsel in distress. Yes, he refuses to help a crippled middle-age man but he is eager to rescue a large-breasted woman. Cleavage seems to be a standard feature of female attire in Bronze Age Greece, because even the she-demon that Iolus fights has it on display.
Herc cannot take Hera on face to face, so he settles for taking on the humans and non-humans who serve her. He has other things to worry about - a King's fifty daughters want to get pregnant with the demi-god's seed. However, he has a new sidekick - a merchant named Salmoneus (Robert Trebor).
Hera's vinyards are guarded by a giant Cyclops. The Cyclops has a manager who is himself subordinate to one of Hera's bloodthirsty minions.
A group of refugees take shelter in an abandoned city. Unfortunately the city has been cursed by Hera. Soon they find themselves victims of Hera's curse.
Hercules comes along, and offers to lead the refugees to the city of Calydon. He interferes when the head-man tries to appease Hera, and then accuses the head-man of invoking Hera's wrath by stealing a valuable chalice. In reality, Hercules is the one at war with Hera so she is far more likely to be after him than the refugees. Everything else is a trick by the writers to make everyone who disagrees with Herc seem like a villain.
Herc is summoned to a utopian kingdom, with no slavery or hunger ... yet. He has to save the old King from his greedy son.
Dionysis seems unwilling to intervene when a religious ceremony in his honour is desecrated by Ares, a rival god. The festival of Dionysis involves wine, women (maidens, in fact), and selecting who will be the King!
The old blind seer from the previous episode is back again, acting as sidekick to a reluctant Hercules. The dog from the previous episode is nowhere to be seen.
Herc finds a soldier dying on the battlefield. In line with the man's final request, Herc visits the dead man's widow (who looks just like Sorbo's later wife Sam Jenkins ). It turns out the village is full of widows, and women do all the work since the men have gone to war. For example, Atalanta ( Cory Everson ) is a female blacksmith in a leather leotard.
Herc faces off against his brother Ares (no Kevin Smith in sight, though). A gang of Lost Boys are under the God of War's evil influence.
Herc is invited to the wedding of Penelope ( Jacqueline Collen ). En route he meets a soldier who survived a brutal battle. Just like last week, although this soldier plays a larger part in the story.
There are a trio of male centaurs living near. One of them (Cliff Curtis - Fear the Walking Dead ) intends to kidnap the bride. He has help from a human woman ( Lucy Lawless ) who has a centaur as a lover.
Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) and Herc take seperate routes, arguing like R2D2 and C3PO. Iolus discovers that an ambush was done by Stormies posing as sandpeople - I mean, by bandits posing as Satyrs.
Herc gets a proper love interest for the first time since his wife died. Nemesis makes her first appearance in the show. She is the hit-person of Olympus, and Hera has sent her after Iolus.
Lucy Liu leads a group of refugees on The Road to Calydon. They end up getting captured by slavers. It turns out later that Lucy is an expert stick-fighter, but apparently her skills are only useful when the plot requires it.
Nearby, Hercules' Mother ( Elizabeth Hawthorne ) sends him to the market to sell her grain for 400 dinars. She seems very young, especially compared to the mother of the girl Herc tries to sell the grain to.
Herc meets his old friend Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ), whom he has not seen in a long time. Evidently this episode should have been shown before the previous one.
Herc is generous with other people's money. The local government tolerates slavery, and while Herc claims to be against it we see him both buy and sell slaves this episode! However, he also donates his old farmstead to a good cause.
Herc gets all the glory, as always. Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) is jealous, and easy prey for the seductive words of a beautiful woman named Xena ( Lucy Lawless ). She lures him off to fight as a mercenary in her militia.
Herc discovers that Xena is not what she appears to be. He goes after her, to save Iolus and to defeat Xena’s evil plan.
Hercules stumbles across yet another battlefield. This one is not the fault of an invading warlord, it is a civil war between brother and sister. The princess wears a gold bikini - it must be standard royal attire in ancient Greece. Each blames the other for the death of their father, and for stealing the bodies of the dead from the battlefield.
Ares is behind the plot. He needs the bodies of warriors killed in battle so he can feed his hell-hound. Rather than just team up with Xena ( Lucy Lawless ), he decided to start a war that would kill Herc’s friends and possibly Herc himself. As always, Ares is disguised as someone else so we do not get to see the familiar leather-clad Kevin Smith.
Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) is still a bloodthirsty warlord, but she operates by a code of ethics. She gives villages a chance to hand over supplies peacefully, and only kills those people who give armed resistance. Unfortunately, her henchmen think she is getting soft in her old age.
Salmoneus is in one of the villages she raids. He is enslaved, and becomes her personal jester. This is actually a cushy job for him. However, when the army mutinies he is on his own.
Hercules gets word that Xena's army is on a rampage. He teams up with a couple of survivors, including Dean O'Gorman ( Almighty Johnsons ), and goes after her. They are too small to be a posse, never mind a lynch mob, but they are out for Xena's blood.
Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) goes after her army for revenge on its rebellious leader, who was raised from the dead by Ares. Hercules and his friends are along for the ride.
Salmoneus and Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) meet for the first time. They debate over who is Hercules' best friend.
Xena and Iolus finally get some closure. This is good, because it allows her to move on and become Herc's love interest.
Salmoneus is the only non-fighter in the group. He ends up being the damsel in distress, held prisoner by Xena's rival (who has been rendered unkillable by Ares). The Warlord plans to feed Salmoneus to Ares' pet, the massive CGI hell-hound from Hercules [Season 1, Episode 11] The Vanishing Dead .
Autolycus (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) steals some valuables from a King. Herc must bring the thief to justice, or Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) will be punished in his place.
Unfortunately for Herc, Autolycus has amazing skills. He is also something of a Robin Hood figure, so the local peasants are unwilling to betray him.
The Disclaimer states No Subterranean Serpents were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Herc and his pals Salmoneus, King Midas and Volumptua ( Jennifer Ward-Leland ) team up to defeat some Capitalists.
The theme is feudalism versus capitalism. Midas sold his kingdom out to a get-rich quick scheme. Everyone quits their job as a farmer in order to gamble. Nobody points out that the money they are trading in is worthless if nobody makes any food to spend the money on!
In the end, Hercules does not believe in executing captured enemies. Instead he forces them to repay us with their labours ... Is that not another word for slavery?
Someone is posing as Hercules, and supporting a despotic King. It turns out the imposter is Iphicles, Herc’s brother, who has fallen in love with the King’s step-daughter.
Iphicles is played by a very young-looking Kevin Smith - not the film director, but the actor best known for playing Ares, God of War. It is yet to be seen how Herc’s half-brothers can both look the same despite not sharing any common parents. That said, the show already acknowledges how certain Lucy Lawless characters look alike, despite apparently not being related in any way.
The Disclaimer states No Mandrakes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Herc captures a Warlord (Brian Thompson - Terminator ) and takes him for trial in Athens. No extradition treaty is necessary, Herc will just take the victim across any border he desires. Unlike Boba Fett in the Star Wars movies, Herc cannot even claim he is only doing it for the money. No, Herc does this for the smug sense of self-satisfaction.
Herc holds his prisoner in an abandoned fort. Meanwhile, the Warlord’s men besiege the fort.
The Disclaimer states No Barbarians were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
This is a sequel to Hercules [Season 1, Episode 6] As Darkness Falls, the episode starring Cliff Curtis ( Fear the Walking Dead ) as a centaur. Herc goes to visit a femme fatale ( Lucy Lawless ) who once seduced him so the villain could kidnap a bride from her wedding. But now she and her family are victims to anti-Centaur prejudice.
The title character wants revenge on Herc, who killed her monsterous children. She helps a warlord (Martin Kove - Karate kid ) plot against Herc. Kove seduces Herc's mother.
Herc goes to the Underworld (again), this time to save Demeter. Iolus is nowhere is sight, but Michael Hurst ( Almighty Johnsons ) plays Charon the boatman. In the original, Demeter could sort out her own love-life but this time, Hercules has been written in as the catalyst of events.
There is a subplot concerning a lonely farmer’s pet pigs. Yes, this is exactly that kind of sickly-sweet story. Which is ironic, considering how cleavage-heavy it is.
Salmoneus has another get-rich-quick scheme. This time he loots antique artefacts from a cave, and sells them for huge profits. Unfortunately the artefacts are cursed by Hera, just like the items in the deserted city in the Season One episode.
Hera sends one of her enforcers - a mystical assassin who only uses her bow and arrows to shoot warning shots, no matter how murderous or deadly her opponent is. Hercules warms to her - she is an old friend of his, Nemesis. Unfortunately for her, when she visits Earth she must take on human form so she is now a mortal woman whenever she appears as such. Luckily she looks great in her chain-mail bikini.
This is a sequel of Hercules [Season 2, Episode 7] The Mother of All Monsters. Hera teams Kove's brother with the trapped MOAM.
Herc and Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) meet a friendly giant (a dimwitted klutz) who is the Father of all Monsters.
Herc's damsel - a female bodybuilder/blacksmith named Atalanta ( Cory Everson ) - and Salmoneus (there is no sign of Iolus) help Herc run the Olympic games to stop the Spartan War.
If this mentality were maintained in 1936, would they have let the Axis conquer the world?
Ares' team cheats. Unfortunately, Kev Smith does not make an appearance.
Marton Csokas ( Timeline ) is the bandit Tarlas (clean-shaven and bald) who kidnaps the bride. Herc and Iolus go to save her.
Herc must help a pal wrongly accused of theft - his hand will be cut off! Herc will not free a thief from Sharia, but he would if the sentence was a life of hard labour (AKA slavery!) ...
This ep was nicely directed. The Disclaimer compares Proteus to a candidate of 1996 POTUS elections (Ross Perot, the year it was made).
Herc and Guest Star Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) visit Herc's mom, who is engaged to his pal Jason (King!).
Jason must abdicate, and names Herc's brother Iphicles as heir. By incredible coincidence, Ipicles is a very young-looking Kev Smith, in black leather, clean-shaven.
Hera's goons plot an attack. There is good makeup on the Demon, but the CGI SPFX sea-monster looks dated.
There is even a centaur, although he is lumbered with the nerdy name of Derek!
Herc witnesses a young man discover he has a superpower – the Voice of Preacher . It turns out that the boy is actually a demigod, and Herc is his uncle. But will Herc give his newly-discovered nephew the old personal gain speech?
Salmoneus gets called in to act as salesman for a couple of local farmers. He should have asked what their speciality was before he agreed to help!
Herc gets word from his mentor, a centaur. Yes, Zeus was never around when Herc was Young Hercules , so his father-figure was a centaur. Since the centaurs have been established as the Ancient Greek equivalent of an oppressed minority, this means this type of storyline can be used as a metaphor for modern-day intolerance.
It turns out that a third party is pitting the villagers against the centaurs. This plot-line was also used in the Xena: Warrior Princess Episode Hooves and Harlots. How convenient, because it means neither side has to back down or admit responsibility, they can both win during the hand-waved resolution.
The Disclaimer states No Centaurs were harmed or discriminated against during the production of this motion picture.
Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) rescue a scribe from a lynch mob. Later they end up taking him along while trying to rescue a missing damsel from a cave with a monster living in it. In response to the scribe’s incessant questioning, the dynamic duo start to narrate clips of the best bits of the show so far. This actually includes bits of the made-for-TV movies, so it is quite watchable. A pity the Season ends on a clip show, but there are some good sbits.
The Disclaimer states No vicious Tabby Cats were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Pre-Hellenic litter Box is in dire need of a change.
Herc escorts a suspected hit-man to trial, just like in Hercules [Season 2, Episode 4] Siege at Naxos . However, the ship is wrecked and the two men end up washed ashore on a desert island. The two opponents must face each other - and Herc has not met a human opponent who stood a chance against him since Autolycus (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) a year previously. Worse, they have no water supply.
The island has other dangers. The sandy desert is full of sand-burrowing stingrays, so it is an homage to Tremors . Also, there is a gang of pirates on the loose.
Herc’s faith in the so-called Justice system is predictably annoying. In ancient Greece it was discovered that Justice is merely the will of the strong. However, it is nice to see Hercules have to confront the reality that sometimes he might be wrong.
The Disclaimer states No Flesh-Eating Sandrays were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Herc has to fight Hera's Fire Enforcer ( Cynthia Rothrock ).
Wannabe henchman Grant Heslov ( True Lies ) tries to prove himself to a Warlord.
Echidna, Mother of All Monsters, has had another child. She refuses to let Hera enlist this one as a minion. However, she gets distracted by her jive-dancing oaf of a husband, Typhon.
Herc gets a bash on the head, and Hera's worshippers convince him he is a Prince.
Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) must save a bunch of babies from a Queen (cast in the mold of Lady MacBeth) who talks her husband into ordering them arrested. One of the babies will grow up to become King, the soothsayer said ...
Iolus gets strange dreams that lead him north - and as in Close Encounters of the Third Kind he meets up with (two) others who have had the same vision. This seems to have a link to the Xena Season 2 Xmas Special (with Santicles); Gabby gave her donkey to a man and his pregnant wife - while here the three wise men find a woman giving birth in a stable ...
Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) meet a squeaky-voiced Dragon who is in the control of a warlord who has been waiting 10 years to get even with Herc ...
As in Season 4, Herc stays out of sight for most of the episode. Iolus' first lady-love is married to his cousin, a King. Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) is mistaken for that cousin, who is trying to organise a Peace treaty conference.
Hera gives Callisto ( Hudson Leick ) a day-pass from Hell, on condition that she kill Herc. She poisons his family (including King Iphicles, played by Kevin Smith) with a mind-bending drug that makes their worst nightmares come true. The only cure is the fruit of a tree in Hades - and if Cally eats the fruit she will become immortal. So they set off together, though each knows that only one will return.
Cally and Herc do not get many action scenes, until the final duel.
Hercules marries a mortal woman, Serena, and gives up his powers as a god. He wakes up to find Serena murdered, and he is the only suspect. Since he has always taught the humans that might is right they form a lynch mob and go after him.
Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) and Gabby help Iolus take care of the hunted hero. Ares and Stryfe pop up as villains of the week, while Zeus also appears.
Robert Trebor and Danielle Cormack are regular guest-stars on the show, as Salmoneus the merchant and Ephiny the Amazon. In this episode they guest-star as a pair of 1789 French Aristocrats, straight out of Les Liaisons Dangereux. Trebor reveals himself to be The Charteuse Fox, a leftie who robs from Aristocrats and gives to the Peasants. They make a bet - Trebor claims he can make a Peasant into a hero. Enter Sorbo and Hurst - not their usual heroic types, they play a couple of thieving highwaymen.
TV shows descend into mediocrity with two kinds of episodes - the in-jokey type and the flashback type. This episode manages to be both. However, the best inserted scenes are not actually from this show - they are Conan the Barbarian (the orgy scene) and Spartacus (the bath-house scene).
Unusually for USA TV, the end promotes the socialist French Revolution and is really nothing more than Commie propaganda.
Autolycus (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) steals the Kronos stone. It takes him and Hercules back in time, to before Herc met the love of his life. The babe, Serena, ended up dying tragically - can Herc save her? He runs foul of Ares (Kevin Smith) and his sidekick Deimos (Joel Tobeck - Return of the King ).
The end disclaimer reads Neither the time-space continuum nor any previous storylines were harmed during the making of this motion picture.
The night before a selfish rich-bitch Princess's arranged marriage to a neighbouring King, she is kidnapped by slavers hired by her sister. The younger Princess, you see, is an intelligent young lady who would actually be best-suited to rule the Kingdom.
The rich-bitch is saved by Herc and Iolus, who follow their usual policy of murder all the men, keep the women for sex.
This episode, directed by Robert Trebor, starts with a man being chased by a lynch-mob. Herc corners the man in a disused mineshaft, which inconveniently collapses.
The fugitive has been accused of breaking into a house and killing the family who lived there. However, he claims to be innocent. Herc should be more sympathetic, as he recalls that he himself was accused of a murder he did not commit. Instead, Herc's response is to make the fugitive take responsibility for his actions.
The Disclaimer states No Convicts were squished like a bug during the production of this motion picture.
Cassandra ( Claudia Black , the leather-clad mega-babe from Farscape! ), has a dream about Hercules. The impressive thing is not that she is living in Atlantis instead of Troy, but that her nightdress gives her the most enhanced cleavage imagineable.
Hercules gets shipwrecked on a familiar-looking beach. It is the same beach that his old house used to overlook. However, much like Cassandra the Trojan it is now on the isle of Atlantis.
The Island of Atlantis has a technology-based society. The locals do not believe in the Greek Gods, which offends Hercules. This is ironic, not least because the whole basis of the show is that the ancient gods are wicked and cruel.
The good news is, this is the only place on Earth that Herc will not be bothered by the minions of his wicked stepmother, Hera. The bad news is, the local King is a dictator. The good news is, the population are happy because they have anachronistic technology which gives them a Twentieth century standard of living. The bad news is, this is powered by magic crystals that are mined in tunnels under the whole island.
Cassandra has magic powers of precognition. Unfortunately, nobody except Hercules believes her predictions. Even worse, it turns out that Atlantis is destroyed because of Hercules' actions based on what she told him. In other words, at least one of her predictions is self-fulfilling.
Herc teams up with Autolycus (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) to climb a beanstalk. For some reason there is a giant living in the clouds, and he has a batch of golden eggs.
The eggs hatch to reveal harpies (which owe more to the movie Gremlins than the traditional half-bird half-woman monster) and Mr Campbell tells the Giant I hate to break it to ya, big fella, but you're got Harpies.
Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) try to save a couple of peasants who attempted to cross a gorge on an unsafe rope-bridge. Unfortunately Iolus loses his one, and feels so guilty that he has the goddess Fortune wipe his memory.
Iolus forgets everything from the age of fifteen onwards, so he has no memory of everything good he did with Herc. Instead he falls in with a femme fatale, and then gets hired by the local gangster. The job is to steal a shipment of the King's gold. Unfortunately, the man guarding the shipment is Hercules himself!
The Disclaimer states As Fortune would have it, Iolus' memory was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
This week the show has an extended flashback - possibly as a precursor to a Young Hercules show. If they ever release such a dreaded item, this reviewer will not need to be reminded to ignore it.
Young Herc was a cadet at a military school. The drill-master was a centaur who looks a bit like Lani Tupu (Kreiss in Farscape ).
Hercules, like (New Adventures of) Robin Hood , has to fight off an arachnoid foe. But unlike the lower-budgeted show this time the villain is a gorgeous babe in a bikini top and CGI giant-spider legs (all eight of them)! Yes, the SPFX that work so well for the centaurs get re-employed to great effect.
This episode also sees the debut of a recurring character - a Sumerian/Nubian pirate queen called Nebula ( Gina Torres ).
Hercules comes to blows with his brother Ares in a massive cross-over with lots of familiar faces. Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) the sidekick gets sucked into a mirror universe, a la Star Trek: TOS episode Mirror, Mirror, finds himself a Stranger in a Strange World, and announces I am not a numeral, I am a free man!! Subtlety indeed from an American TV show, especially one of such a genre.
In the mirror universe we see a villainous Herc (Sorbo with Ares' beard and black togs), a straight-laced Aphrodite ( Alexandra Tiddings with her clothes on!), a gangsters-moll Xena (who prefers Herc to his sidekick, poor guy), a hard-ass Joxer (like Jett, but one of the good guys) and even a cameo from Gabby! Yes, the gang is all here for a massive crossover that only lasts one episode, is purely for laughs and has absolutely nothing to do with any plot arc!!!
Herc meets up with his old friend Nemesis ( ) - who is on the run with a baby in her arms and a posse of soldiers on her tail. She tells Herc the child is his - and it turns out that Ares and Discord ( Meighan Desmond ) are after them!
It turns out that the story is more complicated.
Hercules is missing his sidekick Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) for some strange and un-explained reason. But the big lunk is unconcerned about his nearest and dearest, and instead continues his good deeds. He starts by freeing a group of convicts - err, slaves - and states that he does not agree with slavery, even in areas where it is legal.
The renegade Amazons who are the villains of the episode share his enlightened views; they kill the men, women and boys they capture. Young girls get raised as Amazons themselves, and are told that they were abandoned by their birth parents.
Hercules falls in with a young blind man (Dean O'Gorman - Almighty Johnsons ) who lost his family (and sight) in a raid by such Amazons 13 years previously. His parents are dead and his sister was captured. The Amazon tribe had signed a treaty and given a valley of their territory over to other tribes - but the renegades wanted the land back, and 13 years later are still on the rampage.
Typical of the pseudo-incestuous casting of this show, Dean O'Gorman also plays Young Iolus in later episodes. We also get a cameo by Ephiny the Amazon ( Danielle Cormack ).
Hercules helps a young maiden enter a dance competition - their tutor is the mysterious Widow Twanky, who closely resembles the missing Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) ...
Salmoneus is running an art contest for Charity. He gets Herc to help out as a live nude model. Herc only had a bunch of grapes to hide his modesty.
The female blacksmith, Atalanta ( Cory Everson ), has settled down in the same town. She has taken to dressing more modestly, in the hopes of capturing a husband. It seems she is lonely, and does not even consider poor Salmoneus as a potential.
The local hillbillies are unhappy with Atlanta's presence. They had the only blacksmith business in town until she came along. Not only does she provide competition to them, she actually gives free ploughshares to the poor. Basically she treats her work as a hobby she does for free, and thus drives an entire clan of hillbillies out of business.
Atalanta makes a life-size statue of Herc, for her own entertainment. Because Blacksmiths are loyal worshippers of Hephaestus, the god brings her statue to life for her. Discord ( Meighan Desmond ) gets involved, and sets the fake Herc on the path to mischief.
Herc briefly objects to Atalanta's building of a sex object in his image. However, he lets her take the slow-witted beefcake home for her personal use. Would he have let Salmoneus take home a living statue of Aphrodite? However, Atalanta is not as honest about her own needs. She gets her sex object to make her dinner like a slave, then sends him to sleep in the barn like a beast of burden.
The fake Herc, under the influence of Discord, goes on the inevitable rampage. The locals form their traditional lynch mob and try to kill both Hercs.
The Disclaimer states Hercules proved once again the true measure of a man is not the size of his grapes but the size of his heart.
Hercules is put on trial after a copy-cat hero gets killed imitating him. The trial is held in Athens, and if found guilty he will be exiled from all Greece. How they plan to enforce this, in a land rulled by dozens of warlords, is uncertain. however, Ares is lurking on the sidelines ready to create a massive war across the country.
The Disclaimer states Due to extensive DNA testing, Hercules was proven innocent during the production of this motion picture.
The star of the show and his friends have a brief pre-credits sequence. This is a book-end that introduces the main story, a flashback. Yes, during most of the epiosde Sorbo is nowhere to be seen, and we are given a tale of Young Herc instead. This time he meets Medea and Jason, played as the same age as the star (mid-to-late teens). Jason is a King, and Medea is a magic-wielding warrior babe. They all team up in a quest to kill one of Hera's magical fire-breathing monsters, the Ghidra. We know it will all end badly for Medea, although not in the way you might expect.
The young Iolus is played by Dean O'Gorman, who was last seen playing a different character in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 4, Episode 7] Prodigal Sister . Also, he was Michael Hurst's co-star in Almighty Johnsons .
The Disclaimer states No two-headed, fire-breathing, regenerating Ghidras were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Salmoneus (Robert Trebor) is a King's accountant. Autolycus (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) breaks in to steal the King's treasure before it is handed out to the poor. However, the King's brother (Peter McCauley - The Lost World ) accuses them of killing the King. Our heroes go on the run, and join Widow Twanky's dancers (a la Some Like It Hot). Autolycus gets to use the infamous Evil Dead line, Gimme some sugar, baby!
The Disclaimer states Cupcake's sweet tooth was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, her love life experienced a slight setback.
Herc takes on Ares and destroys his armoury (made from the metal of Hephaestus that first appeared in Dirty Half-Dozen). Callisto and Ares team up, and rescue the Evil Herc from the parallel universe. Apparently Callisto was a priestess in that world - pity she was not in that episode.
Ares is not such a bad type, you see - along with Callisto he is one of this reviewer's favourite characters. And when Callisto double-crosses him there is some great character development. Ares and Hercules must work together; they were brothers, rivals, but at the end of the day Zeus' blood runs thick in both their veins.
Callisto is given a lot of development. At first she admits her life ended at Cirra when Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) burnt her family to death - but she has worked with Hope before, and is willing to fight Herc although her vengeance against Xena is dead. All she wants is for her pain to end.
She states that the thought of Ares touching her makes her sick. She was his lover on a previous occasion - so why did she change her mind? The only explanation is Ares' gloating over Xena's reign of terror ...
The ending? Hercules is trapped between worlds with his evil self, while Callisto travels back in time to kill Herc's mother and Ares sends Iolus back to save her.
Hercules and his evil parallel self watch the episode unfold from their interdimensional prison.
We find out the truth of what happened when at Cirra. We meet Callisto's parents (yes, she had a father!) although her sisters are nowhere to be seen.
Finally, in a pastiche of It's a Wonderful Life we see what the world would be like if Herc had never been born. Iolus never teamed up with him, and could thus never turn Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) good. She makes herself Warrior Empress, and rules the known world. For some strange reason Ares is pleased with this ... of course he desires Xena, but with the entire world under an iron fist (even Gabby is crucified for dissent!) it is unlikely there will be another war for the better half of a century at least.
Evil Xena has a gentle side, though - she waits until Gabby has confessed her crimes, and has her legs broken so she dies quicker on the cross.
Iolus finally saves Herc, who makes it back in time for a last-minute duel with Callisto ( Hudson Leick ).
Herc is missing this week - an in-joke on the fact that Kevin Sorbo has been present in only about half the episodes this Season! The show starts with stock footage; Hercules rescues Cassandra ( Claudia Black ) from Atlantis. Rob Tapert (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) wakes up from a nightmare, and screams I'm blind! I swear, from now on I'll sing in the shower instead!
Kevin Sorbo has gone missing - and once again Mr Campbell must carry the show! We get some cool Callisto scenes (are there any other kind?), but that is about it. Also, for some reason this show appears to be set (in part, at least) before the events of Armageddon Now, shown the previous week.
We get to see Hudson Leick as Liz Friedman, working out (kickboxing and knife-throwing) in a wig - the black hair in a bob cut that was last seen on Lucy Lawless in the mirror universe episode. Ted Raimi accidentally grabs her breasts, and she punches him across the table. Michael Hurst hugs her, and gets the same. HHL and Kevin Smith go hand-to-hand - goddamn, she looks great in stockings and heels! Normally she has matchstick legs, but no more ...
Previously we had a replacement for Hercules called Chimpules - now we have Herc changed into a pig by Ares' female sidekick, Discord ( Meighan Desmond ). She hired Autolycus (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) to steal the bow of Artemis, a magical item that causes transformation. This is her plan to cheer up Ares, who is still smarting after his loss in the Armageddon Now episodes.
While Herc runs around with a female porker, the episode is once again carried by Iolus and Autolycus.
Herc is human again, but Discord (Ares' short side-kick babe - Meighan Desmond ) is a chicken. For revenge, Ares strips Iolus and Autolycus (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) naked, and chains them together with Hepaestus' metal.
Herc's sister Aphrodite ( Alexandra Tidings ) turns his female pig into a human woman - the spitting image of herself, in fact. And the anthromorphism only extends so far; yes, we get to see Ms Tidings strip to her skimpies and roll around in the mud. Drool ....
Conflict has broken out between two Greek kingdoms, Antioch and Carpathia. Herc sends Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) ahead to Antioch, to prepare for a peace conference.
Autolycus (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) trains his ex-GF, Cupcake (from Widow Twankie's dance school in Hercules [Season 4, Episode 12] Men in Pink) to be posh enough to seduce Prince Alexandrus of Antioch, so Autolycus can steal the Saphire of Antioch. However, he puts her undercover as the Princess of Carpathia ...
As ever, Herc disappears pre-credits (to track down some bandits, this time) and lets the rest of the cast carry most of the show. This has its benefits, though. Once again Iolus gets to see Nebula ( Gina Torres ), the sexy African pirate-woman.
The land is troubled. Ajax (Peter McCauley - The Lost World ), a friend of Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ), and the Greek Army have returned from the Trojan wars. No mention is made of the fact that Herc's friend Xena ( Lucy Lawless ) fought for the Trojans, and helped Helen escape from her rescuers.
The war veterans are at odds with the local ruler, King Iphicles - Herc's brother, portrayed by Kevin Ares Smith. When they riot, he imprisoned them on an island prison named Golgot - supposedly the worst in all Greece. There are underground predators living in the sand, like in Hercules [Season 3, Episode 1] Mercenary . Ajax and his men take over the prison and hold King Iphicles hostage. Shades of gray, for a change.
The Disclaimer states Any resemblance between King Iphicles, Hercules' half-brother, and Ares, god of War, Hercules' other half-brother, is totally unavoidable.
Herc returns to his home because his mother is dying. This is a bookend sequence to the main story, so Sorbo is not in very much of the episode. However, it builds up to a confrontation between him and his father Zeus (Roy Dotrice - Beauty and the Beast (1986) ) that will take place next episode.
The main body of the story is a flashback to Young Hercules, a sequel to Hercules [Season 4, Episode 11] Medea Culpa. Herc, Iolus and Jason go off to fight against the Parthians. However, this is a baptism of fire - literally, as the Parthians use Nafoline aka Greek Fire. The whole thing boils down to a pastiche of World War One films. Unfortunately it is just a bit too cheesy and cliched to be taken seriously. Xena: Warrior Princess did a far better job with a similar episode in Season Six.
The Disclaimer states Caution: Nafoline Cannons are highly flammable and may be hazardous to your health. Keep away from children.
Herc's mother has died. Zeus (Roy Dotrice - Beauty and the Beast (1986) ) appears, and asks Herc to join him in Olympus.
Once again the main story is told in Flashback to Young Herc, played by the second actor to get the part. His sidekick is Young Jason, not Young Iolus.
Young Herc meets Young Apollo. They hang out together, having cliched teenager-movie cliches, but eventually their competitiveness overcomes them. They try to see who is ... Top God.
The Disclaimer states No Boogie-Boarding, Bleached-Blonde, Narcissistic Gods were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Zeus (Roy Dotrice - Beauty and the Beast (1986) ) takes Hercules to Mount Olympus and makes him a full god. Since he is now alone, Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) goes home and meets his own family. However, as a mercenary he is not welcome there.
Hera ( Meg Foster ) topples Zeus from power, aided by Apollo (a blond guy on a flying skateboard) and Ares. Herc kicks their asses, but Hera kicks his and then tries to throw him into the inescapable pit into which Zeus threw his own father, Kronos. This makes the Quest for Kronos' bones in Xena: Season 5 seem a wild goose chase.
Other bits that seem ironic, especially considering Xena's storyline, is when Herc condemns Ares for attempting Patricide. Ares points out that it is a family tradition - Zeus killed Kronos, and so on. As we now know, it is not Ares who commits patricide ...
The Disclaimer states Zeus's godhood was not harmed during the production of this motion picture, although his short stint as a mortal was somewhat intoxicating.
Tony Todd ( Candyman ) plays Gilgamesh, Son of Ra. His land is suffering from the war of the gods - the Summerian pantheon is taking on Dahawk, and losing. He summons Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) to help. They get a lift from Nebula ( Gina Torres ), who has a secret of her own.
Herc and Gilgamesh go on a quest together, to get some nectar (the local equivalent of Ambrosia) from inside a pyramid. Meanwhile, Nebula has to challenge traditional gender roles and spend some time romancing Iolus.
Note: this episode was directed by Michael Hurst. The Disclaimer states In order to protect the environment and for the benefit of all mankind, Imuru's beard was recycled and restored immediately upon completion of production of this motion picture.
Herc and Nebula ( Gina Torres ) set out to retrieve Iolus' soul from the Summerian God of Death. This flies in the face of Hades' statement to Xena in the other show's season opener (Adventures in the Sin Trade) which was made around the same time as this.
Herc's aim is to kill the God - thus making Dahawk's conquest all the easier. And since Dahawk killed Herc's friend, this is not a good thing.
The Disclaimer states No zombies were chomping at the bit during the production of this motion picture.
Herc is shipwrecked and washed ashore somewhere called Eire, ruled by the Druids (who stand around in robes while singing Enya songs), where everyone speaks with Oirish accents. He has to help the Druids against the babelicious Morrigan ( Tamara Gorski ). At first she appears to be Hera's Air Enforcer, but it seems she works for an Oirish pantheon of gods or something. This is never explained. References made include:
The stupid plot and the dodgy accents are a pain, but there are good points to the episode. Morrigan (in RL mythology she was part of the Triple Goddess) is a babe, and slo-mo beats the crap out of Herc. Then we get some Highlander type scenes where he runs through hills and swims underwater to discover his inner strength.
The Disclaimer states No Magic Munchkins preaching the virtues of ancient Celtic philosophy were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Salmoneus (Robert Trebor) visits a villainous Sultan and attempts to sell the leftover Hercules portraits from Hercules [Season 4, Episode 9] If I Had A Hammer. Autolycus (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) picks that exact same moment to steal a magical lamp from the vault. Once again, the mismatched duo must go on the run together.
The Genie, Jeanie (Hillary McMillan), appears and grants them three wishes. Of course, the wishes do not turn out as they intended. In all fairness to Jeanie, the idiots were in a hurry and did not bother with the small print.
The Disclaimer states No cool blue bongs that resemble Aladdin's lamp were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules is still in Eire, trying to convert Morrigan (the babelicious Tamara Gorski ) to the side of good. This is interrupted when the invasion fleet of Xena's foe Julius Caesar (Karl Urban - Dredd 3-D ) arrives.
Rome brought civilisation, which makes mankind healthy, wealthy and wise. Of course, in Fantasy this is unnecessary because of magic. But Herc takes it upon himself to kill the Gods (without Hind's Blood!), and thus remove magic from the world. The plot (or lack thereof) is pretty stupid.
The Disclaimer states No Scribes intent on writing the truth and nothing but the truth were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules is still in Eire, sleeping in a separate bed from Morrigan ( Tamara Gorski ). However, he gets a prophetic dream.
Herc travels to Scandinavia, where he finds himself surrounded by Vikings. The Norse Gods are doomed by fate, and Dahawk has a hand in it.
The casting is noteworthy. Michael Hurst does not appear, although he played a Norse god himself in Almighty Johnsons . Peter McCauley ( The Lost World ) is back for his third supporting role in the show. Previously he was Ajax and a wicked Prince, but now he is Odin. The character reappears in Xena: Warrior Princess but with a different actor - presumably McCauley was busy playing Professor Challenger at the time.
The Disclaimer states
No ram, stag or any other horned species was
sacrificed for Thors helmet during the
production of this motion picture.
Ve svear it.
This is the second part of the story about Herc and the Norse gods. Herc can outfight Thor, but can he outsmart Loki and Dahawk?
This was directed by Michael Hurst ( Almighty Johnsons ).
The Disclaimer states No Frost Giants were thawed during the production of this motion picture.
Herc is back in Eire, reacquainted with Morrigan ( Tamara Gorski ) again. However, just as he is on his way to earning some love interest ... Evil strikes!
The Disclaimer states Iolus nearly lost his head during the production of this motion picture.
Just as the Dahawk arc gets going, we get another silly episode. This is a sequel to Hercules [Season 4, Episode 15] Yes Virginia, There is a Hercules where the actors played the Production team, and Kevin Sorbo really WAS Hercules.
This time Producer Bruce Campbell ( Evil Dead ) gets the rest of the team (Ted Raimi is missing, but Sorbo has a groupie present) to go on a team-building course with him. The camp they go to is run by the perky little Renee O'Connor , of all people. This season's new discovery, Tamara Gorski , gets a cameo - as does Robert Trebor.
The writers are stuck for ideas - nothing new there. Sorbo gives a few ideas, and thus fleshes out the first half of Season 5 to those who have missed it. Meanwhile, someone (probably inspired by Ares) is trying to kill them.
The disappointments about this episode? Well, it is just not funny. Also, Hudson Leick keeps her clothes on during the sweat-lodge scene.
The writers make the mistake of assuming that Ares is evil merely because he is the God of War and antagonist of Hercules. A better analysis would be that Ares is Chaotic in nature and Hercules represents Order. After all, we see the show from Herc's perspective so small wonder if he is portrayed as morally pure despite constantly using violence to force his will upon others.
The Disclaimer states Due to circumstances beyond our control, some staff members were ridiculed, laughed at and generally made fools of during the production of this motion picture.
The trio arrive in Ancient Greece. They get to Herc's home-town of Corinth, where his mother lived. There is no sign of Herc's brother the King, he has gone off on a diplomatic mission. Herc's other friend and ally, Jason, givs some exposition but no practical help. Dahawk has taken over, and he wears Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) as his meat-suit. The Olympians have fled. The god of light is the villain, a nice anti-Xian non-Xena bit.
The Disclaimer states No cast-iron snakes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Herc conducts an exorcism on Iolus' meat-suit, with the assistance of Zarathustra. Unfortunately Dahawk has the power to create halucinations, such as Zarathustra's dead son (Daniel Logan - Attack of the Clones ).
This ep was directed by Bruce Campbell ( Evil Dead ), and written by Lisa Klink.
The Disclaimer states Finally, the demon Dahak was destroyed during the production of this motion picture.
A volcano is about to destroy a town in Ancient Greece. Herc could just ask his brother the god Vulcan for a favour. Instead he re-enacts the cult classic movie Sorceror, where the protagonists have to drive truck-loads of dynamite across a mountain range. He recruits Ephiny the Amazon ( Danielle Cormack ) and a motley crew (including a convict) to blow up the volcano using wooden wagons filled with magical exploding crystals.
The convict is about to be hanged for the killing of a centaur boy. Herc does not offer a full pardon, merely implies a reduced sentence of life without parole. Yes, he is no more capable of forgiveness than he was in Hercules [Season 3, Episode 21] A Rock and a Hard Place.
The Disclaimer states Ephiny's leg was not hurt in the production of this motion picture. However, the writers sincerely apologize to Amazons everwhere for excluding her from the big finale.
Herc gets sucked through a portal into the netherworld, where his evil twin The Sovereign has been trapped since Hercules [Season 4, Episode 14] Armageddon Now (2) .
Ares trapped the other Gods in the mirror universe when they fled there to hide from Dahawk. Herc takes it upon himself to free them, even though this would be a bloodless way of preventing them from abusing mortals. The ending of Xena: Warrior Princess - Season 5 would have been very different!
The Disclaimer states If you would like to be a contestant on "Wheel of Misfortune", simply drop us a postcard and prepare to kiss your bottom goodbye.
This is basically A day in the life. Autolycus (Bruce Campbell - Evil Dead ) has a stolen ruby. He does not believe in the curse.
Herc's fans. Most of the ep is Herc and the new Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) bonding.
This is a sequel to the Dance show episode. Edith Sidebottom (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) holds a fashion show, involving a girl with a Princess Leia hairstyle.
As well as starring, Michael Hurst directed this ep.
Morrigan ( Tamara Gorski ) and Herc (he dumped her?) go to Cyprus, where a Seer has gone blind.
Hercules, Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) and Jason go to the academy and try to demilitarise. Iolus tries to teach literacy. The so-called villain outsmarts the supposed hero and shows that combat skills are vital. Hercules expels anyone who is smarter than him.
Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) the second had a girlfriend (the sea-god's daughter), but now she is marrying a thug.
Herc runs into his ex, the former Hind ( Sam Jenkins ) - who no longer remembers him in this timeline.
Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) is back from Heaven (not Elysium, for some reason). The Light sends Archangel Michael ( V: 2009 ) to raise the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Mike speaks Latin, wears a Roman breastplate, threatens and bribes people and is totally un-Christian.
Femme warlord Arsiana ( Katie Wolf ) leads jailbreak to find the Sword of Hera. She is a Callisto clone (orphaned in a blaze) who looks like Serena ( Sam Sorbo ). Sin (a demon, whose powers are weak in Earth-realm) tempts her with an Apple.
Xerxes escapes from Hell (sent there by Hades). Xerxes is a Bogeyman, blamed for unsolved mystery murders. He was convicted of killing parents, and got a death sentance despite being a juvenile.
Herc (who fought his own stepmom, and even murders his own dad) hunts Xerxes down for the executioners! He also hunts the escaped cons (to put them in slavery!).
Hephaestus dumped Aphrodite, so she goes to the Mall!
Iolus (Michael Hurst - Almighty Johnsons ) tries to seduce an Amazon (a frigid man-hater). Salmoneus is in prison for tax fraud.
Diemos needs Amazons to get him the Kronos stone (so he makes fireballs that can break Hephaestus metal).