Pilot Movies 1994 (2 hrs each)
Hercules [Season 0, Episode 5]
Hercules in the Maze of the Minotaur
Shown 24 Nov 94
Herc (Kevin Sorbo -
Andromeda
) is now a peaceful farmer.
Zeus visits ... and we get flashbacks to the previous films.
The Minotaur is not a mindless beast, he has evil plans that only Herc can stop.
1st Season Winter 1995
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 1]
The Wrong Path
Shown 29 Jan 95
Herc's wife (
Tawny Kitaen
) and children are incinerated by Hera.
He has to choose between revenge and helping a person in need.
Luckily his best buddy, Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
), goes off to help the needy.
Herc's rollicking rampage of revenge is disrupted
when he has to help a damsel in distress.
Yes, he refuses to help a crippled middle-age man
but he is eager to rescue a large-breasted woman.
Cleavage seems to be a standard feature of female attire in Bronze Age Greece,
because even the she-demon that Iolus fights has it on display.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 2]
Eye of the Beholder
Shown 5 Feb 95
Herc cannot take Hera on face to face,
so he settles for taking on the humans and non-humans who serve her.
He has other things to worry about -
a King's fifty daughters want to get pregnant with the demi-god's seed.
However, he has a new sidekick - a merchant named Salmoneus (Robert Trebor).
Hera's vinyards are guarded by a giant Cyclops.
The Cyclops has a manager who is himself subordinate to one of Hera's bloodthirsty minions.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 3]
The Road to Calydon
Shown 12 Feb 95
A group of refugees take shelter in an abandoned city.
Unfortunately the city has been cursed by Hera.
Soon they find themselves victims of Hera's curse.
Hercules comes along, and offers to lead the refugees to the city of Calydon.
He interferes when the head-man tries to appease Hera,
and then accuses the head-man of invoking Hera's wrath by stealing a valuable chalice.
In reality, Hercules is the one at war with Hera
so she is far more likely to be after him than the refugees.
Everything else is a trick by the writers
to make everyone who disagrees with Herc seem like a villain.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 4]
The Festival of Dionysus
Shown 19 Feb 95
Herc is summoned to a utopian kingdom, with no slavery or hunger ... yet.
He has to save the old King from his greedy son.
Dionysis seems unwilling to intervene when a religious ceremony in his honour
is desecrated by Ares, a rival god.
The festival of Dionysis involves wine, women (maidens, in fact),
and selecting who will be the King!
The old blind seer from the previous episode is back again,
acting as sidekick to a reluctant Hercules.
The dog from the previous episode is nowhere to be seen.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 5]
Ares
Shown 26 Feb 95
Herc finds a soldier dying on the battlefield.
In line with the man's final request,
Herc visits the dead man's widow (who looks just like Sorbo's later wife
Sam Jenkins
). It turns out the village is full of widows,
and women do all the work since the men have gone to war.
For example, Atalanta (
Cory Everson
) is a female blacksmith in a leather leotard.
Herc faces off against his brother Ares (no Kevin Smith in sight, though).
A gang of Lost Boys are under the God of War's evil influence.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 6]
As Darkness Falls
Shown 5 Mar 95
Herc is invited to the wedding of Penelope (
Jacqueline Collen
). En route he meets a soldier who survived a brutal battle.
Just like last week, although this soldier plays a larger part in the story.
There are a trio of male centaurs living near.
One of them (Cliff Curtis -
Fear the Walking Dead
) intends to kidnap the bride.
He has help from a human woman (
Lucy Lawless
) who has a centaur as a lover.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 7]
Pride Comes Before a Brawl
Shown 12 Mar 95
Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) and Herc take seperate routes,
arguing like R2D2 and C3PO.
Iolus discovers that an ambush was done by Stormies posing as sandpeople
- I mean, by bandits posing as Satyrs.
Herc gets a proper love interest for the first time since his wife died.
Nemesis makes her first appearance in the show.
She is the hit-person of Olympus,
and Hera has sent her after Iolus.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 8]
The March to Freedom
Shown 19 Mar 95
Lucy Liu
leads a group of refugees on The Road to Calydon.
They end up getting captured by slavers.
It turns out later that Lucy is an expert stick-fighter,
but apparently her skills are only useful when the plot requires it.
Nearby, Hercules' Mother (
Elizabeth Hawthorne
) sends him to the market to sell her grain for 400 dinars.
She seems very young, especially compared
to the mother of the girl Herc tries to sell the grain to.
Herc meets his old friend Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
), whom he has not seen in a long time.
Evidently this episode should have been shown before the previous one.
Herc is generous with other people's money.
The local government tolerates slavery,
and while Herc claims to be against it
we see him both buy and sell slaves this episode!
However, he also donates his old farmstead to a good cause.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 9]
The Warrior Princess
Shown 26 Mar 95
Herc gets all the glory, as always.
Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) is jealous,
and easy prey for the seductive words of a beautiful woman named Xena (
Lucy Lawless
). She lures him off to fight as a mercenary in her militia.
Herc discovers that Xena is not what she appears to be.
He goes after her, to save Iolus and to defeat Xena’s evil plan.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 10]
The Gladiators
Shown 2 Apr 95
Herc and Iolus go to rescue Tony Todd (
Candyman
) who is held as a gladiator by
Angela Bruce
and her husband.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 11]
The Vanishing Dead
Shown 7 May 95
Hercules stumbles across yet another battlefield.
This one is not the fault of an invading warlord,
it is a civil war between brother and sister.
The princess wears a gold bikini - it must be standard royal attire in ancient Greece.
Each blames the other for the death of their father,
and for stealing the bodies of the dead from the battlefield.
Ares is behind the plot.
He needs the bodies of warriors killed in battle so he can feed his hell-hound.
Rather than just team up with Xena (
Lucy Lawless
), he decided to start a war that would kill Herc’s friends and possibly Herc himself.
As always, Ares is disguised as someone else
so we do not get to see the familiar leather-clad Kevin Smith.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 12]
The Gauntlet
Shown 14 May 95
Xena (
Lucy Lawless
) is still a bloodthirsty warlord, but she operates by a code of ethics.
She gives villages a chance to hand over supplies peacefully,
and only kills those people who give armed resistance.
Unfortunately, her henchmen think she is getting soft in her old age.
Salmoneus is in one of the villages she raids.
He is enslaved, and becomes her personal jester.
This is actually a cushy job for him.
However, when the army mutinies he is on his own.
Hercules gets word that Xena's army is on a rampage.
He teams up with a couple of survivors, including Dean O'Gorman (
Almighty Johnsons
), and goes after her.
They are too small to be a posse,
never mind a lynch mob, but they are out for Xena's blood.
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 13]
Unchained Heart
Shown 21 May 95
Xena (
Lucy Lawless
) goes after her army for revenge on its rebellious leader,
who was raised from the dead by Ares.
Hercules and his friends are along for the ride.
Salmoneus and Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) meet for the first time.
They debate over who is Hercules' best friend.
Xena and Iolus finally get some closure.
This is good, because it allows her to move on and become Herc's love interest.
Salmoneus is the only non-fighter in the group.
He ends up being the damsel in distress,
held prisoner by Xena's rival (who has been rendered unkillable by Ares).
The Warlord plans to feed Salmoneus to Ares' pet,
the massive CGI hell-hound from
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 11] The Vanishing Dead
.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 1]
The King of Thieves
Shown 15 Sep 95
Autolycus (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) steals some valuables from a King.
Herc must bring the thief to justice,
or Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) will be punished in his place.
Unfortunately for Herc, Autolycus has amazing skills.
He is also something of a Robin Hood figure,
so the local peasants are unwilling to betray him.
The Disclaimer states No
Subterranean Serpents were harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 2]
All that Glitters
Shown 22 Sep 95
Herc and his pals Salmoneus, and King Midas
team up to defeat some Capitalists - Volumptua (
Jennifer Ward-Leland
) and her henchman Seagallus (obviously a reference to Steven Seagal).
The theme is feudalism versus capitalism.
Midas sold his kingdom out to a get-rich quick scheme.
Everyone quits their job as a farmer in order to gamble.
Nobody points out that the money they are trading in is worthless
if nobody makes any food to spend the money on!
It turns out they import their food,
which probably pushes the prices up quite a bit.
This episode answers the question asked by the Broca Divide -
what happens when a barbarian meets a civilised man?
The answer, naturally, is that Hercules and his barbarians
want to destroy the gamblings house and the service-sector economy it represents.
Even Salmoneus, the token good merchant,
is punished for his supposed greed (as a middle-man, not a wealth-maker)
and has his hard-won earnings given away to a hereditary aristocrate (AGAIN)!
In the end, Hercules does not believe in executing captured enemies.
Instead he forces them to repay [us] with their labours ...
Is that not another word for slavery?
The Disclaimer states No
Stuffed Elephants were harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 3]
What's in a Name?
Shown 29 Sep 95
Someone is posing as Hercules, and supporting a despotic King.
It turns out the imposter is Iphicles, Herc’s brother,
who has fallen in love with the King’s step-daughter.
Iphicles is played by a very young-looking Kevin Smith
- not the film director, but the actor best known for playing Ares, God of War.
It is yet to be seen how Herc’s half-brothers can both look the same
despite not sharing any common parents.
That said, the show already acknowledges how certain
Lucy Lawless
characters look alike, despite apparently not being related in any way.
The Disclaimer states No
Mandrakes were harmed during
the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 4]
Siege at Naxos
Shown 6 Oct 95
Herc captures a Warlord (Brian Thompson -
Terminator
) and takes him for trial in Athens.
No extradition treaty is necessary,
Herc will just take the victim across any border he desires.
Unlike Boba Fett in the
Star Wars
movies, Herc cannot even claim he is only doing it for the money.
No, Herc does this for the smug sense of self-satisfaction.
Herc holds his prisoner in an abandoned fort.
Meanwhile, the Warlord’s men besiege the fort.
The Disclaimer states No
Barbarians were harmed during
the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 5]
Outcast
Shown 13 Oct 95
This is a sequel to
Hercules [Season 1, Episode 6] As Darkness Falls,
the episode starring Cliff Curtis (
Fear the Walking Dead
) as a centaur.
Herc goes to visit a femme fatale (
Lucy Lawless
) who once seduced him so the villain could kidnap a bride from her wedding.
But now she and her family are victims to anti-Centaur prejudice.
The storyline is simple enough.
Herc and Salmoneus come to town and investigate the hate-crime against their friend.
This is basically the plot from the classic movie Bad Day At Black Rock.
However, the local people are cleared of all accusations of racism.
The locals are Athenians, and it is outsiders -
the Cretans - who must carry the blame for the hate-crime.
They are a violent, which is a good thing
because it makes it look like self defence when Hercules beats them up.
Even Salmoneus puts up a decent fight and takes out a few bad guys.
Herc's friend, the last surviving centaur of the group,
is on a path of revenge against the villains.
The Disclaimer states No
Centaurs were harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 6]
Under the Broken Sky
Shown 20 Oct 95
Herc visits Salmoneus at his new job.
He is working in a tavern in a dodgy town.
It seems like a decent place, with a great belly-dancer,
but Herc is a judgemental loudmouth.
The setup is reminiscent of
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 2] All that Glitters.
The city folk are evil, but farmers are honest.
This may be inspired by the ethos of
Robert E Howard
, but it just seems fake and hollow.
Howard revered savagery and barbarism,
but this show is made by modern people with modern values.
Most towns have a local militia composed of farmers.
This town has been taken over by bandits who rob the penniless farmers.
None of this makes sense, but this show does not inspire deep thought.
The belly-dancer's husband comes to town.
He is a middle-aged farmer with nothing to offer her,
but he is exactly the kind of man that this show promotes.
Another idea is to turn the pleasure palace into a senior citizens centre,
thus enabling one section of society
(who already have their extended families to care for them)
at great expense to another.
If young people do not have a place to socialise at,
they may congregate in streets and harrass the elderly.
The Disclaimer states Filmed entirely on location in New Zealand.
Yes, no comedy disclaimer this time!
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 7]
The Mother of All Monsters
Shown 27 Oct 95
The title character wants revenge on Herc, who killed her monsterous children.
Hera sends a dozen babes in silver bikinis to help.
Unfortunatelyt they have one major weakness,
so Herc is able to easily outsmart them.
Hera has another helper - a warlord named Demitrius (Martin Kove -
Karate kid
) who seduces Herc's mother.
The Disclaimer states The Mother of All Monsters
was not harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 8]
The Other Side
Shown 10 Nov 95
Herc goes to the Underworld (again),
this time to save a young woman named Persephone.
Iolus is nowhere is sight, but Michael Hurst (
Almighty Johnsons
) plays Charon the boatman.
In the original, Demeter could sort out her own love-life but this time,
Hercules has been written in as the catalyst of events.
Herc takes the time to drop by his dead(,) buxom wife (
Tawney Kitaen
) and young daughter (
Rose McIver
) in the Elysian fields.
There is a subplot concerning a lonely farmer’s pet pigs.
Yes, this is exactly that kind of sickly-sweet story.
Which is ironic, considering how cleavage-heavy it is.
The Disclaimer states Neither Phil or Sal of any of the other Piglet Brethren
were harmed during the production
[of] this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 9]
The Fire Down Below
Shown 17 Nov 95
Salmoneus has another get-rich-quick scheme.
This time he loots antique artefacts from a cave, and sells them for huge profits.
Unfortunately the artefacts are cursed by Hera,
just like the items in the deserted city in the Season One episode.
Hera sends one of her enforcers -
a mystical assassin who only uses her bow and arrows to shoot warning shots,
no matter how murderous or deadly her opponent is.
Hercules warms to her - she is an old friend of his, Nemesis.
Unfortunately for her, when she visits Earth she must take on human form
so she is now a mortal woman whenever she appears as such.
Luckily she looks great in her chain-mail bikini.
Also, she can turn invisible.
Bad news travels fast, never more than this time.
Nemesis kills one victim, and then walks straight after Salmoneus.
However, before she gets there he has somehow heard a rumour of his colleague's death.
Hera sends another super-powered enforcer.
This one is a pyromaniac, imaginatively named Pyro.
The Disclaimer states No Completely-Engulfed-In-Flames-Evil-Dudes
were harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 10]
Cast a Giant Shadow
Shown 24 Nov 95
This is a sequel to
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 7] The Mother of All Monsters.
Hera teams the brother of Demitrius with the trapped MOAM.
Herc and Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) meet a friendly giant (a dimwitted klutz) who is the Father of all Monsters.
The Disclaimer (including spoilers!) states Neither Typhon not Echidna were harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
They went on to lead long and happy lives with
their adopted family. However, attempts to
reinflate Pylon were unsuccessful.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 11]
Highway to Hades
Shown 1 Dec 95
Once again, there is a breakout from the Underworld.
As prisons go, it does not seem to be a very secure place.
Someone seems to escape in every Season of this show and
Xena: Warrior Princess
. We can compare this to the Holodeck in
Star Trek: TNG
and its spin-offs as a story engine.
Hades is under-staffed, because Ares has started a lot of wars
and there are far too many souls for Hades and his staff to process.
Zeus has somehow inflicted staff cutbacks on the Underworld,
and somehow Hades is incapable of recruiting his own staff.
Hades drags Hercules in to sort out the escapee.
After all, this is Herc's fault.
Ares used to have a monsterous dog that would roam battlefields
and devour the souls of the dead.
Now that Herc has killed the dog,
there is naturally a massive excess of souls for the Underworld.
The escapee is King Sysiphus,
a wise old man who rules the City-State of Corinth.
He outsmarted Hades by switching places with a random minion, Timuron.
Sysiphus organised an army,
liberated wealth from greedy hoarders in other city-states,
and used it to create what is potentially the greatest city-state on Earth.
They have built an aqueduct and an amphitheatre,
thus greatly improving the quality of life for locals.
Hercules chides Sysiphus for using the spoils of war,
but ignores the fact that the other city-states
probably got their treasure by war in the first place.
This is more than a simple retrieval mission.
Hercules and Iolus are accompanied by Timuron the ghost.
Timuron died on his wedding night,
and his grieving widow-bride is dragged into the plot.
She wants to make babies, and Sysiphus needs an heir.
This adds a soap opera subplot.
The Disclaimer states No
Rabbits or Spirits Wandering the Earth were
harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 12]
The Sword of Veracity
Shown 19 Jan 96
Herc and Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) go to check up on an old friend.
He has been accused of of a double murder,
and refuses to defend himself because he feels guilty
about a war crime he was associated with.
Evidently he was in the Roman Army, because he helped sack Carthage!
Luckily, a magical artefact named The Sword of Veracity
is in a nearby cave only a day's walk away.
This is lucky, because Herc and Iolus have only two days to get it.
They are accompanied by a young woman who claims to be a virgin priestess of Hestia.
Iolus becomes infactuated with her, although she is fully clad from head to toe.
Luckily she has a more cleavage-revealing outfit in the final battle scene,
but when that happens Iolus has somehow lost interest in her.
The villain of the piece is the local magistrate, who is also a priest of Hera.
We can tell he is a bad guy because he has a Fu Manchu mustache.
He is unpopular because he gathers tribute,
although he has lots of overheads to pay for
such as a well-armed unit of full-time guards who protect the town.
The Disclaimer states No
attacking Minotaurs were harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 13]
The Enforcer
Shown 26 Jan 96
Unfortunately for Nemesis, she has been fired from the job of dispensing
Normally she only had to take on human form when she visits Earth,
but she is now cursed to be a mortal woman permanently.
Hera sends one of her enforcers after Hercules.
This is 1990s martial arts B-movie veteran
Karen Sheppard
.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 14]
Once a Hero
Shown 9 Feb 96
Herc and Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) go to check up on an old friend.
In fact, a boatload of old friends.
They attend a ten years reunion of the Argonauts.
Jason won the throne of Argo by obtaining the golden fleece.
However, he has spent the last decade as an alcoholic.
The local magistrate, the one who does all the actual work,
is not exactly happy about the situation.
The man earned his job on merit, but he is also a follower of Hera.
Therefore Herc refuses to support meritocracy,
and instead stays a member of the Old Boy Network.
A group of mysterious warriors appear.
They are impossible to capture alive,
because they have self-destruct buttons that disentigrate their entire bodies.
Where they come from and how they got this technology is not explained,
but they steal the golden fleece.
Our heroes join the Argonauts on a quest to get it back.
A token woman joins the Argonauts.
She is Phoebe, daughter of one of the originals,
and instead of the typical chain-mail bikini she wears a normal dress.
The Disclaimer states
We gratefully acknowledge the lifelong inspiration
Ray Harryhausen has provided
on our journey through Filmland.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 15]
Heedless Hearts
Shown 16 Feb 96
Herc and Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) meet
Audie England
.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 16]
Let the Games Begin
Shown 23 Feb 96
Herc's damsel - a female bodybuilder/blacksmith named Atalanta (
Cory Everson
) - and Salmoneus (there is no sign of Iolus)
help Herc run the Olympic games to stop the Spartan War.
If this mentality were maintained in 1936,
would they have let the Axis conquer the world?
After all, the host nation won the majority of gold medals that year!
Ares' team cheats.
Unfortunately, Kevin Smith does not make an appearance.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 17]
The Apple
Shown 1 Mar 96
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 18]
Promises
Shown 15 Mar 96
Herc and Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) go to meet old pal Barias (Joel Tobeck -
Return of the King
) at his wedding.
Falafell the merchant (a recurring character) pops up.
Marton Csokas (
Timeline
) is the bandit Tarlas (clean-shaven and bald) who kidnaps the bride.
Herc and Iolus go to save her.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 19]
King for a Day
Shown 30 Mar 96
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 20]
Protean Challenge
Shown 4 May 96
Herc must help a pal wrongly accused of theft - his hand will be cut off!
Herc will not free a thief from Sharia,
but he would if the sentence was a life of hard labour (AKA slavery!) ...
Iolus (Guest Star Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) get jealous of Herc over a babe, a reference to the fight over Xena (
Lucy Lawless
) in Hercules [Season 1, Episode 9] The Warrior Princess.
This ep was nicely directed.
The Disclaimer compares Proteus to a candidate of 1996 POTUS elections
(Ross Perot, the year it was made).
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 21]
Wedding of Alcmene
Shown 12 May 96
Herc and Guest Star Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) visit Herc's mom, who is engaged to his pal Jason (King!).
She must get about a bit, because in
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 7] The Mother of All Monsters
she was recently engaged to Demitrius (Martin Kove -
Karate kid
).
Jason must abdicate as King of Corinth,
and names Herc's brother Iphicles as heir.
By incredible coincidence, Ipicles is a very young-looking Kev Smith, in black leather, clean-shaven.
Hera's goons plot an attack.
There is good makeup on the Demon, but the CGI SPFX sea-monster looks dated.
There is even a centaur, although he is lumbered with the nerdy name of Derek!
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 22]
The Power
Shown 18 May 96
Herc witnesses a young man discover he has a superpower – the Voice of
Preacher
. It turns out that the boy is actually a demigod, and Herc is his uncle.
But will Herc give his newly-discovered nephew the old personal gain speech?
Salmoneus gets called in to act as salesman for a couple of local farmers.
He should have asked what their speciality was before he agreed to help!
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 23]
Centaur Mentor Journey
Shown 25 May 96
Herc gets word from his mentor, a centaur.
Yes, Zeus was never around when Herc was
Young Hercules
, so his father-figure was a centaur.
Since the centaurs have been established as the Ancient Greek equivalent of an oppressed minority,
this means this type of storyline can be used as a metaphor for modern-day intolerance.
The centaur roles are cast with ethnic Maori actors,
and their main grudge against the (caucasian) humans
is a segregated drinking fountain!
It turns out that a third party is pitting the villagers against the centaurs.
This plot-line was also used in the
Xena: Warrior Princess
Episode Hooves and Harlots.
How convenient, because it means neither side has to back down or admit responsibility,
they can both win during the hand-waved resolution.
The Disclaimer states No
Centaurs were harmed or discriminated against
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 24]
The Cave of Echoes
Shown 6 Jul 96
Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) rescue a scribe from a lynch mob.
Later they end up taking him along
while trying to rescue a missing damsel from a cave with a monster living in it.
In response to the scribe’s incessant questioning,
the dynamic duo start to narrate clips of the best bits of the show so far.
This actually includes bits of the made-for-TV movies, so it is quite watchable.
A pity the Season ends on a clip show, but there are some good sbits.
The Disclaimer states No
vicious Tabby Cats were harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
However, the Pre-Hellenic litter Box is in dire need of a change.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 1]
Mercenary
Shown 12 Oct 96
Herc escorts a suspected hit-man to trial, just like in
Hercules [Season 2, Episode 4] Siege at Naxos
. However, the ship is wrecked and the two men end up
washed ashore on a desert island.
The two opponents must face each other
- and Herc has not met a human opponent who stood a chance against him
since Autolycus (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) a year previously.
Worse, they have no water supply.
The island has other dangers.
The sandy desert is full of sand-burrowing stingrays, so it is an homage to
Tremors
. Also, there is a gang of pirates on the loose.
Herc’s faith in the so-called Justice system is predictably annoying.
In ancient Greece it was discovered that
Justice is merely the will of the strong.
However, it is nice to see Hercules have to confront the reality that sometimes he might be wrong.
The Disclaimer states No
Flesh-Eating Sandrays were harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 2]
Doomsday
Shown 19 Oct 96
Herc is confronted by a woman who claims to be a scribe.
Much like Salmoneus, she wants to chronicle the demi-god's life.
And just like Salmoneus, she gets mocked by Hercules
for having a middle-class service-sector career in the Bronze Age.
The Scribe tells Herc about his old friend, Daedalus the inventor.
It turns out that Daedalus is now building a super-weapon for a dictator.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 3]
Love Takes a Holiday
Shown 26 Oct 96
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 4]
Mummy Dearest
Shown 2 Nov 96
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 5]
Not Fade Away
Shown 9 Nov 96
Herc has to fight Hera's Fire Enforcer (
Cynthia Rothrock
).
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 6]
Monster Child in a Promised Land
Shown 16 Nov 96
Wannabe henchman Grant Heslov (
True Lies
) tries to prove himself to a Warlord.
Echidna, Mother of All Monsters, has had another child.
She refuses to let Hera enlist this one as a minion.
However, she gets distracted by her jive-dancing oaf of a husband, Typhon.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 7]
The Green-Eyed Monster
Shown 23 Nov 96
Aphrodite (
Alexandra Tidings
) sends her son, Cupid (Karl Urban -
Dredd
) to use his love arrows on a beautiful maiden.
Unfortunately, Cupid falls for the girl himself.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 8]
Prince Hercules
Shown 30 Nov 96
Herc gets a bash on the head,
and Hera's worshippers convince him he is a Prince.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 9]
A Star to Guide Them
Shown 21 Dec 96
Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) must save a bunch of babies from a Queen (cast in the mold of Lady MacBeth)
who talks her husband into ordering them arrested.
One of the babies will grow up to become King, the soothsayer said ...
Iolus gets strange dreams that lead him north - and as in
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
he meets up with (two) others who have had the same vision.
This seems to have a link to the
Xena Season 2 Xmas Special
(with Santicles); Gabby gave her donkey to a man and his pregnant wife
- while here the three wise men find a woman giving birth in a stable ...
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 10]
The Lady and the Dragon
Shown 25 Jan 97
Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) meet a squeaky-voiced Dragon who is in the control of a warlord
who has been waiting 10 years to get even with Herc ...
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 11]
Long Live the King
Shown 1 Feb 97
As in Season 4, Herc stays out of sight for most of the episode.
Iolus' first lady-love is married to his cousin, a King.
Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) is mistaken for that cousin,
who is trying to organise a Peace treaty conference.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 12]
Surprise
Shown 8 Feb 97
Hera gives Callisto (
Hudson Leick
) a day-pass from Hell, on condition that she kill Herc.
She poisons his family (including King Iphicles, played by Kevin Smith)
with a mind-bending drug that makes their worst nightmares come true.
The only cure is the fruit of a tree in Hades -
and if Cally eats the fruit she will become immortal.
So they set off together, though each knows that only one will return.
Cally and Herc do not get many action scenes, until the final duel.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 13]
Encounter
Shown 15 Feb 97
Hercules marries a mortal woman, Serena, and gives up his powers as a god.
He wakes up to find Serena murdered, and he is the only suspect.
Since he has always taught the humans that might is right
they form a lynch mob and go after him.
Xena (
Lucy Lawless
) and Gabby help Iolus take care of the hunted hero.
Ares and Stryfe pop up as villains of the week, while Zeus also appears.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 14]
When a Man Loves a Woman
Shown 22 Feb 97
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 15]
Judgment Day
Shown 2 Mar 97
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 16]
The Lost City
Shown 8 Mar 97
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 17]
Les Contemptibles
Shown 19 Apr 97
Robert Trebor and
Danielle Cormack
are regular guest-stars on the show, as Salmoneus the merchant and Ephiny the Amazon.
In this episode they guest-star as a pair of 1789 French Aristocrats,
straight out of Les Liaisons Dangereux.
Trebor reveals himself to be The Charteuse Fox,
a leftie who robs from Aristocrats and gives to the Peasants.
They make a bet - Trebor claims he can make a Peasant into a hero.
Enter Sorbo and Hurst - not their usual heroic types,
they play a couple of thieving highwaymen.
TV shows descend into mediocrity with two kinds of episodes
- the in-jokey type and the flashback type. This episode manages to be both.
However, the best inserted scenes are not actually from this show - they are
Conan the Barbarian (the orgy scene) and
Spartacus (the bath-house scene).
Unusually for USA TV, the end promotes the socialist French Revolution
and is really nothing more than Commie propaganda.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 18]
Reign of Terror
Shown 26 Apr 97
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 3, Episode 19]
The End of the Beginning
Shown 3 May 97
Reviewed 19th May 2001 - Saturday
Autolycus (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) steals the Kronos stone.
It takes him and Hercules back in time,
to before Herc met the love of his life.
The babe, Serena, ended up dying tragically - can Herc save her?
He runs foul of Ares (Kevin Smith) and his sidekick Deimos (Joel Tobeck -
Return of the King
).
The end disclaimer reads
Neither the time-space continuum nor any previous storylines were harmed
during the making of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 20]
War Bride
Shown 10 May 97
The night before a selfish rich-bitch Princess's arranged marriage
to a neighbouring King, she is kidnapped by slavers hired by her sister.
The younger Princess, you see, is an intelligent young lady
who would actually be best-suited to rule the Kingdom.
The rich-bitch is saved by Herc and Iolus, who follow their usual policy of
murder all the men, keep the women for sex.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 21]
A Rock and a Hard Place
Shown 17 May 97
This episode, directed by Robert Trebor, starts with a man being chased by a lynch-mob.
Herc corners the man in a disused mineshaft, which inconveniently collapses.
The fugitive has been accused of breaking into a house
and killing the family who lived there. However, he claims to be innocent.
Herc should be more sympathetic,
as he recalls that he himself was accused of a murder he did not commit.
Instead, Herc's response is to make the fugitive
take responsibility for his actions.
The Disclaimer states No
Convicts were squished like a bug
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 22]
Atlantis
Shown 24 May 97
Cassandra (
Claudia Black
, the leather-clad mega-babe from
Farscape!
), has a dream about Hercules.
The impressive thing is not that she is living in Atlantis instead of Troy,
but that her nightdress gives her the most enhanced cleavage imagineable.
Hercules gets shipwrecked on a familiar-looking beach.
It is the same beach that his old house used to overlook.
However, much like Cassandra the Trojan it is now on the isle of Atlantis.
The Island of Atlantis has a technology-based society.
The locals do not believe in the Greek Gods, which offends Hercules.
This is ironic, not least because the whole basis of the show is that
the ancient gods are wicked and cruel.
The good news is, this is the only place on Earth that Herc will not be bothered by
the minions of his wicked stepmother, Hera.
The bad news is, the local King is a dictator.
The good news is, the population are happy because they have anachronistic technology
which gives them a Twentieth century standard of living.
The bad news is, this is powered by magic crystals that are mined in tunnels under the whole island.
Cassandra has magic powers of precognition.
Unfortunately, nobody except Hercules believes her predictions.
Even worse, it turns out that Atlantis is destroyed
because of Hercules' actions based on what she told him.
In other words, at least one of her predictions is self-fulfilling.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 1]
Beanstalks and Bad Eggs
Shown
Reviewed October 1999
Herc teams up with Autolycus (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) to climb a beanstalk.
For some reason there is a giant living in the clouds,
and he has a batch of golden eggs.
The eggs hatch to reveal harpies (which owe more to the movie
Gremlins
than the traditional half-bird half-woman monster) and Mr Campbell tells the
Giant I hate to break it to ya, big fella, but you're got Harpies.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 2]
Hero's Heart
Shown 18 Oct 97
Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) try to save a couple of peasants
who attempted to cross a gorge on an unsafe rope-bridge.
Unfortunately Iolus loses his one,
and feels so guilty that he has the goddess Fortune wipe his memory.
Iolus forgets everything from the age of fifteen onwards,
so he has no memory of everything good he did with Herc.
Instead he falls in with a femme fatale,
and then gets hired by the local gangster.
The job is to steal a shipment of the King's gold.
Unfortunately, the man guarding the shipment is Hercules himself!
The Disclaimer states
As Fortune would have it, Iolus' memory was
not harmed during the production of this
motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 4, Episode 3]
Regrets, I've Had A Few
Shown
Reviewed First Weekend, November 1999
This week the show has an extended flashback -
possibly as a precursor to a Young Hercules show.
If they ever release such a dreaded item,
this reviewer will not need to be reminded to ignore it.
Young Herc was a cadet at a military school.
The drill-master was a centaur who looks a bit like Lani Tupu (Kreiss in
Farscape
).
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 4, Episode 4]
Web of Desire
shown
Reviewed Second Weekend, November 1999
Hercules, like
(New Adventures of) Robin Hood
, has to fight off an arachnoid foe.
But unlike the lower-budgeted show this time the villain
is a gorgeous babe in a bikini top and CGI giant-spider legs (all eight of them)!
Yes, the SPFX that work so well for the centaurs get re-employed to great effect.
This episode also sees the debut of a recurring character
- a Sumerian/Nubian pirate queen called Nebula (
Gina Torres
).
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 4, Episode 5]
Stranger in a Strange World
Shown
Reviewed Third Weekend, November 1999
Hercules comes to blows with his brother Ares
in a massive cross-over with lots of familiar faces.
Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) the sidekick gets sucked into a mirror universe, a la
Star Trek: TOS episode
Mirror, Mirror, finds himself a Stranger in a Strange World,
and announces I am not a numeral, I am a free man!!
Subtlety indeed from an American TV show, especially one of such a genre.
In the mirror universe we see a villainous Herc (Sorbo with Ares' beard and black togs),
a straight-laced Aphrodite (
Alexandra Tiddings
with her clothes on!),
a gangsters-moll Xena (who prefers Herc to his sidekick, poor guy),
a hard-ass Joxer (like Jett, but one of the good guys) and even a cameo from Gabby!
Yes, the gang is all here for a massive crossover that only lasts one episode,
is purely for laughs and has absolutely nothing to do with any plot arc!!!
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 4, Episode 6]
Two Men And A Baby
Shown
Reviewed Fourth Weekend, November 1999
Herc meets up with his old friend Nemesis (
) - who is on the run with a baby in her arms and a posse of soldiers on her tail.
She tells Herc the child is his -
and it turns out that Ares and Discord (
Meighan Desmond
) are after them!
It turns out that the story is more complicated.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 4, Episode 7]
Prodigal Sister
Shown
Reviewed First Week, December 1999
Hercules is missing his sidekick Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) for some strange and un-explained reason.
But the big lunk is unconcerned about his nearest and dearest,
and instead continues his good deeds. He starts by freeing a group of convicts
- err, slaves - and states that he does not agree with slavery,
even in areas where it is legal.
The renegade Amazons who are the villains of the episode share
his enlightened views; they kill the men, women and boys they capture.
Young girls get raised as Amazons themselves,
and are told that they were abandoned by their birth parents.
Hercules falls in with a young blind man (Dean O'Gorman -
Almighty Johnsons
) who lost his family (and sight) in a raid by such Amazons 13 years previously.
His parents are dead and his sister was captured.
The Amazon tribe had signed a treaty and given a valley of their territory
over to other tribes - but the renegades wanted the land back,
and 13 years later are still on the rampage.
Typical of the pseudo-incestuous casting of this show,
Dean O'Gorman also plays Young Iolus in later episodes.
We also get a cameo by Ephiny the Amazon (
Danielle Cormack
).
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 4, Episode 8]
... And Fancy Free
Shown
Reviewed Second Week, December 1999
Hercules helps a young maiden enter a dance competition
- their tutor is the mysterious Widow Twanky,
who closely resembles the missing Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) ...
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 9]
If I Had A Hammer
Shown 24 Jan 98
Salmoneus is running an art contest for Charity.
He gets Herc to help out as a live nude model.
Herc only had a bunch of grapes to hide his modesty.
The female blacksmith, Atalanta (
Cory Everson
), has settled down in the same town.
She has taken to dressing more modestly, in the hopes of capturing a husband.
It seems she is lonely, and does not even consider poor Salmoneus as a potential.
The local hillbillies are unhappy with Atlanta's presence.
They had the only blacksmith business in town until she came along.
Not only does she provide competition to them,
she actually gives free ploughshares to the poor.
Basically she treats her work as a hobby she does for free,
and thus drives an entire clan of hillbillies out of business.
Atalanta makes a life-size statue of Herc, for her own entertainment.
Because Blacksmiths are loyal worshippers of Hephaestus,
the god brings her statue to life for her. Discord (
Meighan Desmond
) gets involved, and sets the fake Herc on the path to mischief.
Herc briefly objects to Atalanta's building of a sex object in his image.
However, he lets her take the slow-witted beefcake home for her personal use.
Would he have let Salmoneus take home a living statue of Aphrodite?
However, Atalanta is not as honest about her own needs.
She gets her sex object to make her dinner like a slave,
then sends him to sleep in the barn like a beast of burden.
The fake Herc, under the influence of Discord, goes on the inevitable rampage.
The locals form their traditional lynch mob and try to kill both Hercs.
The Disclaimer states Hercules proved once again the true measure
of a man is not the size of his grapes
but the size of his heart.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 4, Episode 10]
Hercules on Trial
Shown
Reviewed Fourth Week, December 1999
Hercules is put on trial after a copy-cat hero gets killed imitating him.
The trial is held in Athens,
and if found guilty he will be exiled from all Greece.
How they plan to enforce this, in a land rulled by dozens of warlords, is uncertain.
however, Ares is lurking on the sidelines ready to create a massive war across the country.
An interesting cameo; Cassandra is played (for the second time) by
Claudia Black
, the leather-clad mega-babe from
Farscape!
The Disclaimer states
Due to extensive DNA testing, Hercules was proven innocent
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 11]
Medea Culpa
Shown 7 Feb 98
The star of the show and his friends have a brief pre-credits sequence.
This is a book-end that introduces the main story, a flashback.
Yes, during most of the epiosde Sorbo is nowhere to be seen,
and we are given a tale of Young Herc instead.
This time he meets Medea and Jason,
played as the same age as the star (mid-to-late teens).
Jason is a King, and Medea is a magic-wielding warrior babe.
They all team up in a quest to kill one of Hera's magical fire-breathing monsters, the Ghidra.
We know it will all end badly for Medea, although not in the way you might expect.
The young Iolus is played by Dean O'Gorman, who was last seen playing a different character in
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 4, Episode 7] Prodigal Sister
. Also, he was Michael Hurst's co-star in
Almighty Johnsons
.
The Disclaimer states No
two-headed, fire-breathing, regenerating Ghidras were harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 12]
Men in Pink
Shown 14 Feb 98
Salmoneus (Robert Trebor) is a King's accountant.
Autolycus (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) breaks in to steal the King's treasure before it is handed out to the poor.
However, the King's brother (Peter McCauley -
The Lost World
) accuses them of killing the King.
Our heroes go on the run, and join Widow Twanky's dancers (a la Some Like It Hot).
Autolycus gets to use the infamous Evil Dead line, Gimme some sugar, baby!
The Disclaimer states
Cupcake's sweet tooth was not harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
However, her love life experienced a slight setback.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 13]
Armageddon Now (1)
Shown 21 Feb 98
This sees a crossover with sister-show
Xena: Warrior Princess
. Gabby and Dhalak's daughter, Hope,
returns from the dead and rescues Callisto (
Hudson Leick
). Her aim - to kill Herc!
Herc takes on Ares and destroys his armoury
(made from the metal of Hephaestus that first appeared in Dirty Half-Dozen).
Callisto and Ares team up, and rescue the Evil Herc from the parallel universe.
Apparently Callisto was a priestess in that world - pity she was not in that episode.
Ares is not such a bad type, you see -
along with Callisto he is one of this reviewer's favourite characters.
And when Callisto double-crosses him there is some great character development.
Ares and Hercules must work together; they were brothers, rivals,
but at the end of the day Zeus' blood runs thick in both their veins.
Callisto is given a lot of development.
At first she admits her life ended at Cirra when Xena (
Lucy Lawless
) burnt her family to death
- but she has worked with Hope before,
and is willing to fight Herc although her vengeance against Xena is dead.
All she wants is for her pain to end.
She states that the thought of Ares touching her makes her sick.
She was his lover on a previous occasion - so why did she change her mind?
The only explanation is Ares' gloating over Xena's reign of terror ...
The ending? Hercules is trapped between worlds with his evil self,
while Callisto travels back in time to kill Herc's mother and Ares sends Iolus back to save her.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 14]
Armageddon Now (2)
Shown 28 Feb 98
Hercules and his evil parallel self watch the episode unfold
from their interdimensional prison.
We find out the truth of what happened when at Cirra.
We meet Callisto's parents (yes, she had a father!)
although her sisters are nowhere to be seen.
Finally, in a pastiche of It's a Wonderful Life
we see what the world would be like if Herc had never been born.
Iolus never teamed up with him, and could thus never turn Xena (
Lucy Lawless
) good.
She makes herself Warrior Empress, and rules the known world.
For some strange reason Ares is pleased with this ...
of course he desires Xena, but with the entire world
under an iron fist (even Gabby is crucified for dissent!)
it is unlikely there will be another war for the better half of a century at least.
Evil Xena has a gentle side, though - she waits until Gabby has confessed her crimes,
and has her legs broken so she dies quicker on the cross.
Iolus finally saves Herc, who makes it back in time for a last-minute duel with Callisto (
Hudson Leick
).
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 15]
Yes Virginia, There is a Hercules
Shown 7 Mar 98
Herc is missing this week - an in-joke on the fact that Kevin Sorbo has been
present in only about half the episodes this Season!
The show starts with stock footage; Hercules rescues Cassandra (
Claudia Black
) from Atlantis.
Rob Tapert (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) wakes up from a nightmare, and screams
I'm blind! I swear, from now on I'll sing in the shower instead!
Kevin Sorbo has gone missing - and once again Mr Campbell must carry the show!
We get some cool Callisto scenes (are there any other kind?), but that is about it.
Also, for some reason this show appears to be set (in part, at least)
before the events of Armageddon Now, shown the previous week.
We get to see
Hudson Leick
as Liz Friedman, working out (kickboxing and knife-throwing)
in a wig - the black hair in a bob cut that was last seen on
Lucy Lawless
in the mirror universe episode.
Ted Raimi accidentally grabs her breasts, and she punches him across the table.
Michael Hurst hugs her, and gets the same.
HHL and Kevin Smith go hand-to-hand - goddamn, she looks great in stockings and heels!
Normally she has matchstick legs, but no more ...
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 16]
Porkules
Shown 28 Mar 98
Previously we had a replacement for Hercules called Chimpules
- now we have Herc changed into a pig by Ares' female sidekick, Discord (
Meighan Desmond
). She hired Autolycus (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) to steal the bow of Artemis, a magical item that causes transformation.
This is her plan to cheer up Ares,
who is still smarting after his loss in the Armageddon Now episodes.
While Herc runs around with a female porker,
the episode is once again carried by Iolus and Autolycus.
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 17]
One Fowl Day
Shown 4 Apr 98
Herc is human again, but Discord (Ares' short side-kick babe -
Meighan Desmond
) is a chicken.
For revenge, Ares strips Iolus and Autolycus (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) naked, and chains them together with Hepaestus' metal.
Herc's sister Aphrodite (
Alexandra Tidings
) turns his female pig into a human woman - the spitting image of herself, in fact.
And the anthromorphism only extends so far; yes, we get to see Ms Tidings
strip to her skimpies and roll around in the mud. Drool ....
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 18]
My Fair Cupcake
Shown
Reviewed First Week, April 2000
Conflict has broken out between two Greek kingdoms, Antioch and Carpathia.
Herc sends Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) ahead to Antioch, to prepare for a peace conference.
Autolycus (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) trains his ex-GF, Cupcake (from Widow Twankie's dance school in
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 12] Men in Pink)
to be posh enough to seduce Prince Alexandrus of Antioch,
so Autolycus can steal the Saphire of Antioch.
However, he puts her undercover as the Princess of Carpathia ...
The Disclaimer states No X
were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 19]
War Wounds
Shown 2 May 98
As ever, Herc disappears pre-credits (to track down some bandits, this time)
and lets the rest of the cast carry most of the show. This has its benefits, though.
Once again Iolus gets to see Nebula (
Gina Torres
), the sexy African pirate-woman.
The land is troubled. Ajax (Peter McCauley -
The Lost World
), a friend of Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
), and the Greek Army have returned from the Trojan wars.
No mention is made of the fact that Herc's friend Xena (
Lucy Lawless
) fought for the Trojans,
and helped Helen escape from her rescuers.
The war veterans are at odds with the local ruler,
King Iphicles - Herc's brother, portrayed by Kevin Ares Smith.
When they riot, he imprisoned them on an island prison named Golgot -
supposedly the worst in all Greece.
There are underground predators living in the sand, like in
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 1] Mercenary
. Ajax and his men take over the prison and hold King Iphicles hostage.
Shades of gray, for a change.
The Disclaimer states
Any resemblance between King Iphicles, Hercules'
half-brother, and Ares, god of War, Hercules' other
half-brother, is totally unavoidable.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 20]
Twilight
Shown 9 May 98
Herc returns to his home because his mother is dying.
This is a bookend sequence to the main story,
so Sorbo is not in very much of the episode.
However, it builds up to a confrontation between him and his father Zeus (Roy Dotrice -
Beauty and the Beast (1986)
) that will take place next episode.
The main body of the story is a flashback to Young Hercules, a sequel to
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 11] Medea Culpa.
Herc, Iolus and Jason go off to fight against the Parthians.
However, this is a baptism of fire - literally, as the Parthians use Nafoline aka Greek Fire.
The whole thing boils down to a pastiche of World War One films.
Unfortunately it is just a bit too cheesy and cliched to be taken seriously.
Xena: Warrior Princess
did a far better job with a similar episode in Season Six.
The Disclaimer states
Caution: Nafoline Cannons are highly flammable
and may be hazardous to your health.
Keep away from children.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 4, Episode 21]
Top God
Shown 16 May 98
Reviewed 31st December 2001 - Monday - New Year's Eve
Herc's mother has died. Zeus (Roy Dotrice -
Beauty and the Beast (1986)
) appears, and asks Herc to join him in Olympus.
Once again the main story is told in Flashback to Young Herc,
played by the second actor to get the part.
His sidekick is Young Jason, not Young Iolus.
Young Herc meets Young Apollo.
They hang out together, having cliched teenager-movie cliches,
but eventually their competitiveness overcomes them.
They try to see who is ... Top God.
The Disclaimer states No
Boogie-Boarding, Bleached-Blonde,
Narcissistic Gods were harmed
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 22 - Finale]
Reunion
Shown
Reviewed Third Week, April 2000
Zeus (Roy Dotrice -
Beauty and the Beast (1986)
) takes Hercules to Mount Olympus and makes him a full god.
Since he is now alone, Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) goes home and meets his own family.
However, as a mercenary he is not welcome there.
Hera (
Meg Foster
) topples Zeus from power,
aided by Apollo (a blond guy on a flying skateboard) and Ares.
Herc kicks their asses, but Hera kicks his
and then tries to throw him into the inescapable pit
into which Zeus threw his own father, Kronos.
This makes the Quest for Kronos' bones in
Xena: Season 5
seem a wild goose chase.
Other bits that seem ironic, especially considering Xena's storyline,
is when Herc condemns Ares for attempting Patricide.
Ares points out that it is a family tradition
- Zeus killed Kronos, and so on.
As we now know, it is not Ares who commits patricide ...
The Disclaimer states
Zeus's godhood was not harmed
during the production of this motion picture, although his
short stint as a mortal was somewhat intoxicating.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 5, Episode 1]
Faith
Shown 3 Oct 98
Reviewed 13th January 2001 - Saturday
Tony Todd (
Candyman
) plays Gilgamesh, Son of Ra. His land is suffering from the war of the gods
- the Summerian pantheon is taking on Dahawk, and losing.
He summons Herc and Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) to help. They get a lift from Nebula (
Gina Torres
), who has a secret of her own.
Herc and Gilgamesh go on a quest together,
to get some nectar (the local equivalent of Ambrosia) from inside a pyramid.
Meanwhile, Nebula has to challenge traditional gender roles
and spend some time romancing Iolus.
Note: this episode was directed by Michael Hurst.
The Disclaimer states
In order to protect the environment and for the
benefit of all mankind, Imuru's beard was recycled
and restored immediately upon completion of
production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 5, Episode 2]
Descent
Shown 10 Oct 98
Reviewed 20th January 2001 - Saturday
Herc and Nebula (
Gina Torres
) set out to retrieve Iolus' soul from the Summerian God of Death.
This flies in the face of Hades' statement to Xena
in the other show's season opener (Adventures in the Sin Trade)
which was made around the same time as this.
Herc's aim is to kill the God - thus making Dahawk's conquest all the easier.
And since Dahawk killed Herc's friend, this is not a good thing.
The Disclaimer states
No zombies were chomping at the bit
during the production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 5, Episode 3]
Resurrection
Shown 17 Oct 98
Reviewed 27th January 2001 - Saturday
Herc is shipwrecked and washed ashore somewhere called Eire,
ruled by the Druids (who stand around in robes while singing Enya songs),
where everyone speaks with Oirish accents.
He has to help the Druids against the babelicious Morrigan (
Tamara Gorski
). At first she appears to be Hera's Air Enforcer,
but it seems she works for an Oirish pantheon of gods or something.
This is never explained. References made include:
- [The Druids] will never submit to your false idols;
is this a reference to Christianity?
- worship the Druid priests; but priests are not objects of worship,
they are go-betweens for the gods which are the objects of worship!
The stupid plot and the dodgy accents are a pain,
but there are good points to the episode.
Morrigan (in RL mythology she was part of the Triple Goddess) is a babe,
and slo-mo beats the crap out of Herc. Then we get some
Highlander
type scenes where he runs through hills and swims underwater to discover his inner strength.
The Disclaimer states
No Magic Munchkins preaching the virtues of
ancient Celtic philosophy were harmed during
the production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 5, Episode 4]
Genies and Grecians and Geeks, Oh My
Shown
Reviewed 3rd February 2001 - Saturday
Salmoneus (Robert Trebor) visits a villainous Sultan
and attempts to sell the leftover Hercules portraits from
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 9] If I Had A Hammer.
Autolycus (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) picks that exact same moment to steal a magical lamp from the vault.
Once again, the mismatched duo must go on the run together.
The Genie, Jeanie (Hillary McMillan), appears and grants them three wishes.
Of course, the wishes do not turn out as they intended.
In all fairness to Jeanie, the idiots were in a hurry and did not bother with the small print.
The Disclaimer states
No cool blue bongs that resemble Aladdin's lamp
were harmed during the production of this
motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 5, Episode 5]
Render Onto Caesar
Shown
Reviewed 10th February 2001 - Saturday
Hercules is still in Eire, trying to convert Morrigan (the babelicious
Tamara Gorski
) to the side of good. This is interrupted when the
invasion fleet of Xena's foe Julius Caesar (Karl Urban -
Dredd 3-D
) arrives.
Rome brought civilisation, which makes mankind healthy, wealthy and wise.
Of course, in Fantasy this is unnecessary because of magic.
But Herc takes it upon himself to kill the Gods (without Hind's Blood!),
and thus remove magic from the world.
The plot (or lack thereof) is pretty stupid.
The Disclaimer states
No Scribes intent on writing the truth
and nothing but the truth were harmed during the
production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 5, Episode 6]
North By NorthVest
Shown
Reviewed 17th February 2001 - Saturday
Hercules is still in Eire, sleeping in a separate bed from Morrigan (
Tamara Gorski
). However, he gets a prophetic dream.
Herc travels to Scandinavia, where he finds himself surrounded by Vikings.
The Norse Gods are doomed by fate, and Dahawk has a hand in it.
The casting is noteworthy.
Michael Hurst does not appear, although he played a Norse god himself in
Almighty Johnsons
. Peter McCauley (
The Lost World
) is back for his third supporting role in the show.
Previously he was Ajax and a wicked Prince, but now he is Odin.
The character reappears in
Xena: Warrior Princess
but with a different actor - presumably McCauley was busy playing Professor Challenger at the time.
The Disclaimer states
No ram, stag or any other horned species was
sacrificed for Thors helmet during the
production of this motion picture.
Ve svear it.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 5, Episode 7]
Somewhere Over the Rainbow Bridge
Shown
Reviewed 24th February 2001 - Saturday
This is the second part of the story about Herc and the Norse gods.
Herc can outfight Thor, but can he outsmart Loki and Dahawk?
This was directed by Michael Hurst (
Almighty Johnsons
).
The Disclaimer states
No Frost Giants were thawed during the
production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 5, Episode 8]
Darkness Rising
Shown
Reviewed 3rd March 2001 - Saturday
Herc is back in Eire, reacquainted with Morrigan (
Tamara Gorski
) again. However, just as he is on his way to earning some love interest
... Evil strikes!
A dream shows Herc that Nebula (
Gina Torres
) is in trouble. He travels to Sumeria with Morrigan in tow,
and confronts Dahawk ... in the form of Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
).
The Disclaimer states
Iolus nearly lost his head during the
production of this motion picture.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys [Season 5, Episode 9]
For Those Of You Just Joining Us
Shown
Reviewed 10th March 2001 - Saturday
Just as the Dahawk arc gets going, we get another silly episode.
This is a sequel to
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 15] Yes Virginia, There is a Hercules
where the actors played the Production team, and Kevin Sorbo really WAS Hercules.
This time Producer Bruce Campbell (
Evil Dead
) gets the rest of the team
(Ted Raimi is missing, but Sorbo has a groupie present)
to go on a team-building course with him.
The camp they go to is run by the perky little
Renee O'Connor
, of all people. This season's new discovery,
Tamara Gorski
, gets a cameo - as does Robert Trebor.
The writers are stuck for ideas - nothing new there.
Sorbo gives a few ideas,
and thus fleshes out the first half of Season 5 to those who have missed it.
Meanwhile, someone (probably inspired by Ares) is trying to kill them.
The disappointments about this episode? Well, it is just not funny. Also,
Hudson Leick
keeps her clothes on during the sweat-lodge scene.
The writers make the mistake of assuming that Ares is evil
merely because he is the God of War and antagonist of Hercules.
A better analysis would be that Ares is Chaotic in nature
and Hercules represents Order.
After all, we see the show from Herc's perspective
so small wonder if he is portrayed as morally pure
despite constantly using violence to force his will upon others.
The Disclaimer states
Due to circumstances beyond our control, some
staff members were ridiculed, laughed at and
generally made fools of during the production of
this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 10]
Let There Be Light
Shown 16 Jan 99
Herc now has two female sidekicks in tow. Morrigan (
Tamara Gorski
) looks very short compared to Nebula (
Gina Torres
). Is she Herc's GF now?
The trio arrive in Ancient Greece.
They get to Herc's home-town of Corinth, where his mother lived.
There is no sign of Herc's brother the King,
he has gone off on a diplomatic mission.
Herc's other friend and ally, Jason, givs some exposition but no practical help.
Dahawk has taken over, and he wears Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) as his meat-suit. The Olympians have fled.
The god of light is the villain, a nice anti-Xian non-Xena bit.
The Disclaimer states
No cast-iron snakes were harmed during the
production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 11]
Redemption
Shown 23 Jan 99
Herc conducts an exorcism on Iolus' meat-suit,
with the assistance of Zarathustra.
Unfortunately Dahawk has the power to create halucinations,
such as Zarathustra's dead son (Daniel Logan -
Attack of the Clones
).
Morrigan (
Tamara Gorski
) and Nebula (
Gina Torres
) try to protect Ares from Dahawk's worshippers.
This ep was directed by Bruce Campbell (
Evil Dead
), and written by Lisa Klink.
The Disclaimer states
Finally, the demon Dahak was destroyed during
the production of this motion picture.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 12]
Sky High
Shown 30 Jan 99
A volcano is about to destroy a town in Ancient Greece.
Herc could just ask his brother the god Vulcan for a favour.
Instead he re-enacts the cult classic movie Sorceror,
where the protagonists have to drive truck-loads of dynamite across a mountain range.
He recruits Ephiny the Amazon (
Danielle Cormack
) and a motley crew (including a convict) to blow up the volcano
using wooden wagons filled with magical exploding crystals.
The convict is about to be hanged for the killing of a centaur boy.
Herc does not offer a full pardon,
merely implies a reduced sentence of life without parole.
Yes, he is no more capable of forgiveness than he was in
Hercules [Season 3, Episode 21] A Rock and a Hard Place.
The Disclaimer states
Ephiny's leg was not hurt in the production of
this motion picture. However, the writers sincerely
apologize to Amazons everwhere for excluding
her from the big finale.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 13]
Strange And Stranger
Shown 6 Feb 99
Herc gets sucked through a portal into the netherworld,
where his evil twin The Sovereign has been trapped since
Hercules [Season 4, Episode 14] Armageddon Now (2)
.
Herc ends up back in the parallel universe again.
Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) is a jester, Nebula (
Gina Torres
) is evil, and there are TWO Ares!
Ares trapped the other Gods in the mirror universe
when they fled there to hide from Dahawk.
Herc takes it upon himself to free them,
even though this would be a bloodless way of preventing them from abusing mortals.
The ending of
Xena: Warrior Princess - Season 5
would have been very different!
The Disclaimer states
If you would like to be a contestant on
"Wheel of Misfortune", simply drop us a postcard
and prepare to kiss your bottom goodbye.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 14]
Just Passing Through
Shown 13 Feb 99
This is basically A day in the life.
Autolycus (Bruce Campbell -
Evil Dead
) has a stolen ruby.
He does not believe in the curse.
Herc's fans.
Most of the ep is Herc and the new Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) bonding.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 15]
Greece Is Burning
Shown 20 Feb 99
This is a sequel to the Dance show episode.
Edith Sidebottom (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) holds a fashion show,
involving a girl with a Princess Leia hairstyle.
As well as starring, Michael Hurst directed this ep.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 16]
We'll Always Have Cyprus
Shown 27 Feb 99
Morrigan (
Tamara Gorski
) and Herc (he dumped her?) go to Cyprus, where a Seer has gone blind.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 17]
The Academy
Shown 27 Mar 99
Hercules, Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) and Jason go to the academy and try to demilitarise.
Iolus tries to teach literacy.
The so-called villain outsmarts the supposed hero
and shows that combat skills are vital.
Hercules expels anyone who is smarter than him.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 18]
Love on the Rocks
Shown 24 Apr 99
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 19]
Once Upon a Future King
Shown 1 May 99
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 20]
Fade Out
Shown 8 May 99
Deimos (Joel Tobeck -
Return of the King
) has a plan to make Herc fade out.
Discord (
Meighan Desmond
) and Ares also appear.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 21]
My Best Girl's Wedding
Shown 15 May 99
Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) the second had a girlfriend (the sea-god's daughter), but now she is marrying a thug.
Herc runs into his ex, the former Hind (
Sam Jenkins
) - who no longer remembers him in this timeline.
Hercules [Season 5, Episode 22]
Revelations
Shown 22 May 99
Iolus (Michael Hurst -
Almighty Johnsons
) is back from Heaven (not Elysium, for some reason).
The Light sends Archangel Michael (
V: 2009
) to raise the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Mike speaks Latin, wears a Roman breastplate,
threatens and bribes people and is totally un-Christian.
