Peter Benchley's Amazon [Season 1, Episode 1]
Shown June 2005 - Monday
This is written and produced by Jaws novelist Peter Benchley . This may seem like a poor rip-off of Lost , but it is more like the inspiration. A passenger jet crashes in the Amazon jungle. The passengers (including C Thomas Howell and Alotta Fagina) must survive in the hostile terrain.
The survivors meet up.
Rob Stewart ( Killjoys ) is wearing glasses, but still recognisable. This may have been filmed on a studio set - it looks very fake. Especially when compared with Lost , which is filmed on location in Hawaii. Since this was filmed in 1999 by Atlantis Alliance, no wonder it looks a bit cheap.
The boy discovers a white man dressed like a native. Talbott (Rob Stewart) and Kennedy (C. Thomas Howell - Red Dawn ) return to the wreck and are attacked by the natives. Then a futuristic rescue chopper turns up - will it see them?
The boy, two babes and two expendable guys are prisoners of the natives. Talbott (Rob Stewart - Killjoys ) and Kennedy (C. Thomas Howell - Red Dawn ) meet the Tarzan lookalike - he is Oirish! The native witchdoctor speaks English too, apparently.
Tarzan's village is filled with Oirish Christians (not Catholics, though) ... They appear to be non-demoninational generic Christians with a fundamentalism and technology better suited to the early 1500s. The village elder is John Neville ( Baron Munchausen ).
Tarzan's rivals in the village believe that the survivors are Demons, and want to hand them over to The Fierce Ones. Alotta Fagina ( Fabiana Udieno ) , however, is anything but demonic in her obligatory skimpies scene at the start.
Talbott (Rob Stewart - Killjoys ), Kennedy (C. Thomas Howell - Red Dawn ) and two other guys try to escape from the camp of the Chosen. The so-called Christians have decided to trade three demons for the three dead Heathen.
The natives are untrustworthy, but Kennedy is fanatically determined to escape. He steals a canoe, but the river leads to The End of The World. At least we get to see some genuine outdoor footage.
The boy undergoes the initiation rite, to enter into manhood in the Indian tribe. Tarzan intervenes and gets captured ...
Among the Oirish, Talbott (Rob Stewart - Killjoys ) has a fever. The locals exile him - yes, the village has its own leper colony! Luckily it has a gorgeous blonde who tries to save him.
Left for dead, Talbott enters a spirit quest that mirrors the boys. Grief-stricken, Alotta Fagina ( Fabiana Udieno ) does some opera-singing (with unconvincing lip-synch).
The survivors awake to find the village deserted. The Oirish have all disappeared - off to a mountaintop they call Ararat. We get to see their background, for example the reason they use the Eastern Orthodox cross ...
The survivors encounter an old acquaintance, whose return asks more questions than it answers. Also, they bump into the boy after he has been abandoned by the Spider Tribe. Or has he?
The Chosen go to war against the Spider Tribe to save the boy. Unfortunately, the witchdoctor has a vision and knows they are coming ... His prophecy is that the boy will die!
The boy is back with the other survivors, but he has trouble fitting in. He has visions of the Medicine Man and the other natives.
Meanwhile, a predatory beast is stalking the Chosen.
The menfolk try to help the medicine man.
The Chosen hags turn on Alotta Fagina ( Fabiana Udieno ), and give her a Snidely Whiplash-style cliffhanger execution ...
A couple of days before the mass-wedding there is a betrothal ceremony. The next night the Chosen hold a singles-night party. This means that they try to sort out their relationships. Things get complex - the Elder (John Neville - Baron Munchausen ) has a liking for Alotta Fagina ( Fabiana Udieno )!
Meanwhile, the teenage boy has to help the witchdoctor. By sheer coincidence, this involves him getting a love interest of his own!
The survivors decide to make their way down the river. Never mind that Kennedy (C. Thomas Howell - Red Dawn ) almost died the last time he tried it. Or that the Chosen will not let them!
The Chosen only care about getting the boy back. They want to punish the others ...
The survivors get back to NYC. We know it is NYC because the Twin Towers are still standing.
This ep is mostly shown from the stewardess's perspective. She has flashbacks to the events in the jungle, as does Talbott (Rob Stewart - Killjoys ). Which makes no sense, when you see the ending.
The Elder (John Neville - Baron Munchausen ) falls ill. Can the Boy save him?
With Alotta Fagina (
) and the Boy at the Chosen's village,
the others are still lost in the jungle.
With a man-eating panther on the loose.
Worse, The White Witch ( Margot Kidder ) is out there. And strange things happen ...
The White Witch ( Margot Kidder ) leads a clan of gun-toting cannibals. In her spare time she shags a photo-journalist. She has plans for the survivors ...
The Spider Tribe turn up for peace talks with the cannibals. Margot wants them to unite against the illegal loggers. Makes you wonder, who is the real villain?
At the Chosen camp, the annoying guy tries to make friends with Alotta Fagina ( Fabiana Udieno ). The Boy takes hunting lessons from Tarzan.
Safe, in a manner of speaking, the survivors split up. Three want to find the plane, while Talbott (Rob Stewart - Killjoys ) sticks with the friendly natives. Unfortunately, some of the cannibals are still around ...
Meanwhile, back at the camp of the Chosen, Alotta Fagina ( Fabiana Udieno ) encounters a strange woman of unknown origin. She is plastered in white mud, and speaks no known language.
Kennedy (C. Thomas Howell - Red Dawn ) tries to get to civilisation. Unfortunately, he does not speak Spanish or Portugese. Worse, the AK47-wielding cannibals are still on the loose.
Meanwhile, back at the camp of the Chosen, the strange woman of unknown origin is accused of being The Beast. It turns out she is the daughter of the Elder (John Neville - Baron Munchausen ), which gives the rebellious types even more incentive to kill the old man and take over the tribe.
The three survivors have to decide who takes the plane - there is only enough room for TWO! Makes you wonder how it delivered an entire team of geologists, but there you are. Kennedy (C. Thomas Howell - Red Dawn ) is still fanatical about leaving. However, the Stewardess is the only one who can actually pilot the plane!
Meanwhile, the Chosen are victims of a coup attempt by the creepy pair.