ORBzine - Sharks - Movie Reviews

TITLE & REVIEW

2-Headed Shark Attack

2-Headed Shark Attack A ship full of college students gets into trouble. Unfortunately there is a two-headed man-eating shark in the water. Professor Charlie O'Connell ( Sliders ) takes the co-eds to a nearby desert island. Carmen Electra works on her suntan.

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    3-Headed Shark Attack

    3-Headed Shark Attack This starts with a bad homage to Jaws . A beach bum swims out to the bollard, in the hope of getting a hot girl to go skinny-dipping. Unfortunately, there is a white shark in the area. Not a great shark, because it is dodgy CGI and what made Jaws great is that the director realised less is more. Instead of over-exposing his special effects, which he realised were of limited realism, Steven Spielberg created suspense by keeping the shark's on-screen time to a minimum. However, The Asylum knew that their shark's three heads were its unique selling point and so the shark is in as many shots as possible. Worse, everything is filmed in medium shot so there are no establishing shots or intense close-ups.

    A group of civilian environmental activists are given a tour of the US Government's scientific research station in the middle of the Pacific Ocean's garbage area. The pollution is so bad that twenty percent of the local aquatic life is mutated. This explains the shark's three heads, as well as its abnormal feeding activity. Well, this is not a documentary so do not expect factual accuracy about sharks.

    As in Deep Blue Sea the remote underwater research station fails and the shark starts to eat everyone.

    The survivors make their getaway on a speedboat. The shark goes after a nearby booze cruise. Someone has got a flat-bottom paddle-steamer in the middle of the Pacific.

    The characters include Karrueche Tran , best known as a model. She only gets a couple of bikini scenes, so this is a wasted opportunity.

    Luckily, help is at hand in the shape of fisherman Danny Trejo armed with his trademark Machete . Danny has his trademark machete, while his two crewmen have assault rifles. Seriously.

    The shark has a superpower. Every time one head gets chopped off, two grow back. This implies this is the shark from the original movie, and that the monsters in the subsequent movies may be the same creature too.

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    5-Headed Shark Attack

    5-Headed Shark Attack

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    6-Headed Shark Attack

    6-Headed Shark Attack

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    47 Metres Down

    47 Metres Down A couple of twenty-something American girls ( Mandy Moore, Claire Holt ) are on holiday in Mexico. They get talked into taking a cruise on a rickety old boat owned by Captain Matthew Modine ( Jack And The Beanstalk ). The highlight of the tour is a cage-diving trip in shark-infested waters.

    Naturally, something goes badly wrong. The girls end up trapped at the bottom of the ocean, about a hundred and fifty feet under the surface. They have a limited air supply, and there are a couple of massive sharks circling the area.

    The resulting film is atmospheric and suspenseful, which it achieves on a limited budget. This was originally intended as a cheap straight-to-video effort. However, presumably due to the success of similar film The Shallows it was given a catchier title and a cinematic release.

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    Bait

    Bait This is a Jaws rip-off, best described as Deep Blue Sea in a shopping mall. It was produced by Russell Mulcahy , who had a promising future in the 1980s but has spent a long time working on US TV shows instead. However, it is probably his involvement that has gotten some more talent involved in the project as well.

    Despite being a low-key, straight-to-video looking made-in-Australia cheapie, there are a couple of cast members who may be familiar to International audiences from their appearances on US TV shows. Phoebe Tonkin is a shoplifter, while Julian McMahon ( Charmed ) is there too, forced by a thug into robbing the store managerís safe. Unfortunately, a tidal wave floods the shopping complex - and a handful of man-eating sharks are also swept in.

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    Beneath Loch Ness (2001)

    Beneath Loch Ness (2001) A group of American scientists are diving in Loch Ness, Scotland. When a mysterious earthquake opens an underwater cavern, the leader of the expedition is killed. Elizabeth ( Lysette Anthony ), a television executive with bleached blonde hair trimmed short, has financed the expedition in exchange for exclusive rights to the footage. She is desperate to make her documentary a success, so she sends her ex-lover to take over.

    The monster is rarely scene, and even then it is fast-moving and concealed in glood. This is a saving grace, because dodgy CGI can be more disappointing than Spielberg's rubber shark. However, the SPFX is the least of this film's problems. With the exception of some stock helicopter footage and second unit shots of a Scottish road, this looks like it was shot in south California. The supporting cast do not even bother to attempt scottish accents, and instead opt for terrible attempts at Irish accents. And since when have Scotsmen used dynamite to catch fish? The story may be about the Loch Ness monster, but if the film-makers do not bother to make an effort with the little things then suspension of disbelief is entirely out the window.

    The storyline is like a dumbed-down version of Jaws . The Police Constable (Vernon Wells - Mad Max 2: Road Warrior ) does not want to prevent tourists from accessing the lake, so the scientists have to investigate without official help. In the third act a fisherman named Blay (Patrick Bergin - Robin Hood (1992) ), a Quint type, pops up to help. Not exactly original.

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    Blue Demon

    Blue Demon Lady scientist Deedee Pfeiffer and her soon-to-be ex-husband work for Military-Industrial Complex bureaucrat Danny Woodburn ( SU2 ). They are breeding a new, genetically engineered version of the Great White Shark. The new ones can live in either salt or fresh water, like a River Shark. And they have the speed of a Mako Shark, like in Deep Blue Sea .

    Admiral Remora (Jeff Fahy - Lost ), a tongue-in-cheek character, is in command of the mission to control the shark.

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    Deep Blue Sea 2

    Deep Blue Sea 2

  • 2000
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    DeepStar Six (1989)

    DeepStar Six (1989) This was directed by Sean S Cunningham , a veteran horror-movie creator. It was released around the same time as James Cameron's The Abyss , and appears to be a cheaper version trying to cash in on the big studio movie's success. At least it has an original title - if it were released today it would be called something like The Crevasse.

    The cast are a likeable bunch of TV veterans, peppered with a few who had supporting roles in movies. Scarpelli ( Nia Peeples ) is hooking up with Richardson (Matt McCoy - Police Academy 5 ), while Norris ( Cindy Pickett ) is with McBride (Greg Evigan - Tek Wars ). Tech support is provided by Snyder (Miguel Ferrer - Robocop ).

    The mission is a Cold War one, which seems dated now but was dated even then. After all, this movie was released a few months before the Berlin wall fell. The team are building underwater emplacements for the US Navy's nuclear missiles. They discover a subterranean cavern, and unwittingly unleash a life-form trapped inside. It is big and fast, and these days the film-makers would make it a Megalodon. Thankfully the film-makers knew what they were doing in the 1980s, so the monster is kept off-screen until it can be used for maximum effect rather than letting the audience get over-exposed to dodgy special effects.

    Despite the presence of an enormous sea monster, most of the team's problems seemn to be caused by human error. Things get worse for the cast of The Abyss because one of the characters gets pressure-induced psychosis. In this movie, however, the equivalent character is just incompetent and does not forsee the consequences of his actions. This is very disappointing, because it completely stretches suspension of disbelief. It would make far more sense if that character were deliberately trying to kill everyone.

    In the Third Act the monster gets into the main base, which is partially flooded and will explode in four hours time. All pretty generic stuff.

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    Dinoshark

    Dinoshark Eric Balfour ( TCM Remake ) has a boat in a tourist spot in Mexico. Unfortunately, a prehistoric shark comes along and starts to eat everyone.

    A bunch of babes are due to play a water-polo match. Will the shark arrive in time to disrupt the event and eat everyone?

    Watch out for the creepy old man - it is a cameo by Producer Roger Corman .

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    Ice Sharks

    Ice Sharks This is set in a remote scientific outpost in the arctic circle. The scientists are a group of young pretty people, unlike the more realistic group of middle-aged men in The Thing .

    The locals report that some hunters have not returned home. The scientists send people out to look. They suspect that polar bears might be responsible for the disappearances. What they discover is far worse. The local sharks have adopted atypical feeding patterns. They have developed the ability to launch themselves out of the water and land on the ice floes, where they can attack humans. This is actually more typical of killer whales. Yes, it turns out that the much-derided 1970s film Orca: The Killer Whale , basically a cheap and out-dated Jaws rip-off, is actually more scientifically accurate and a better-told story than its equivalent these days.

    Not only has global warming altered the sharks' behaviour, it also causes the the icecap to melt at an accellerated rate. For some reason, the outpost was not designed to be submerged even though it was placed on the icecap and not on solid land. When the ice breaks, the outpost sinks. And since there are man-eating sharks in the water, evacuation is not going to be easy. Deep Blue Sea , anyone?

    Luckily there is a search-and-rescue icebreaker ship in the area. It looks like a French Mistral-class vessel, one of the troop-carriers ordered by Russia before the invasion of the Ukraine and eventually sold to the Turkish Empire. A pity that they were not sold to the ANZAC navies instead, where they could have done search-and-rescue work in the antarctic ocean as well as enforcing International law across the Third World.

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    Jaws (1975)

    Jaws (1975) This is the archetypal modern-day monster movie, and has been such since it came out in the 1970s. Even the more recent films like Jurassic Park , which replaced animatronics with CGI, owe a massive debt to this movie - if only because this is what director Stephen Spielberg cut his teeth on. In fact, we could probably trace the modern genre back to his earlier film Duel, and then to his influences in the B-Movies of the 1950s.

    This is set in a small town on Amity Island, New York State. A tweenage girl goes missing while skinny-dipping. The next morning what's left of her is washed up on the sea shore. The town's Police Chief, Brody (Roy Scheider - ), wants to play it safe and shut the town's beaches until he knows what happened. The Mayor will not jeopardise the town's tourist trade. Not until the next victim, anyway, when it becomes painfully apparent that there is a man-eating shark in the area.

    A victim's family puts a bounty on the shark's head. Naturally, lots of amateurs go after it, with unfortunate results. Chief Brody prefers to stick around with the scientist, Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss - ), who understand's the shark's behaviour better than the local fishermen.

    Finally, in the third act, Brody and Hooper set sail with expert shark-hunter Quint (Robert Shaw - From Russia With Love ). They may be Three Men In A Boat, but the best literary comparison would be Moby Dick . Brody is afraid of the water, and Hooper has a childhood fascination with sharks, but Quint is a survivor of the USS Indianapolis and he is obsessed with taking down the shark.

    In the process of adapting this from the novel, many things were changed. The Mayor's backstory, as a debtor to loan sharks, was omitted which leaves his actions poorly explained. Hooper's fate was changed, as was that of the shark itself. However, Spielberg delivers an amazing film that is now regarded as the first summer blockbuster from Hollywood.

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    Jaws 2 (1978)

    Jaws 2 (1978) The first movie was based on a novel by Peter Benchley , who was inspired by the true story of the Long Island shark attacks of 1916. However, those attacks represent atypical behaviour of a shark. As this series wore on, the behaviour the sharks exhibit becomes more and more bizarre. For example, one man-eating shark is a rarity and two different sharks targeting the same island is unlikely. Worse, these are tropical sharks in temperate waters. The new shark is drawn to the vibrations of engines, and deliberately targets machines and boats.

    People start to disappear in the water around Amity Island. A dead Killer Whale is discovered, and Brody suspects it lost a fight with a great white shark. Normally it is the whales who feed on the sharks, not the other way around,

    Just like in the first film, nobody takes Brody seriously. Well, there is an element of genre blindness at work. Also, sequels need to undo any character development in the previous film so the character can experience the same journey they did first time round. The one positive thing that this film contributes is the failed rescue, a moment that entered the slasher genre in The Shining but is shown here a couple of years earlier.

    A bunch of teenagers, always the typical monster-fodder for this kind of film, set out on their sail-boats. The shark trails them, and tries to pick them off one at a time. Can ex-Chief Brody save them in time? After all, like all good movie cops he has been taken off the case.

    Spielberg did not return to make this follow-up to his classic original, and it certainly shows. What could have been a great film is merely okay. The greatest flaw is the over-use of the shark itself. In the original film, Spielberg used it sparingly because the animatronic technology had not been perfected yet. As a result, he achieved high levels of suspense whereas this effort loses suspension of disbelief every time the audience sees the fake-looking rubber shark.

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    Jaws 3-D (1983)

    Jaws 3-D (1983)

  • 2000
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    Jaws 4: The Revenge (1986)

    Jaws 4: The Revenge (1986)

  • 2000
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    Jersey Shore Shark Attack

    Jersey Shore Shark Attack A small town in New Jersey is inhabited by fake-tanned twenty-somethings, as in the uninformative documentary series Jersey Shore. The main characters are called The Complication and Nooki.

    A property-developer wants to gentrify the area. Worse, a giant CGI shark with glowing red eyes starts eating anyone dumb enough to go boating.

    Predictably, what lets the film down is the low-budget CGI SPFX. However, it is saved to a certain extent by the fact it is a deliberate self-parody.

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    Malibu Shark Attack

    Malibu Shark Attack Malibu beach is hit by a tidal wave. A group of goblin sharks are swept along with the water. The beach attendant (Warren Christie - Alphas ) tries to save everyone.

    The cast includes Peta Wilson as the bitchy boss-lady.

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    The Meg (2018)

    The Meg (2018)

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    Megalodon AKA Shark-Zilla

    Megalodon AKA Shark-Zilla A female TV reporter is invited to tour the newest, biggest oil rig in the world. It is run by a pair of rent-a-villains - Billionaire Robin Sachs ( Buffy ) and safety officer Mark A. Sheppard ( Supernatural ). Strangely, they actually play sympathetic characters for a change.

    The Megalodon itself does not appear until half-way through the film. However, this works in the film's favour. Rather than rely on a dodgy FX monster, the film delivers characters and a storyline.

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    Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus

    Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus This is infamous as one of The Asylumís first movies, and one of the worst ever made. In truth, it is better (well, less awful) than most films made by The Asylum. Yes, this is one of the good ones!

    Environmental scientist (and 1980s teenage pop star) Debbie Gibson discovers that global warming is causing the polar ice cap to melt. Unfortunately an enormous megalodon shark and an equally enormous octopus get defrosted and decide to wreak havoc on every ship on the Earthís oceans.

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    Mega-shark vs Crocosaurus

    Mega-shark vs Crocosaurus The Megalodon is on the rampage, attacking a US battleship by jumping over it repeatedly. Then it tries to eat the tasty, enormous eggs of Crocosaurus! This pair of enormous dodgy CGI monsters also eat any people they meet.

    US Navy Admiral Robert Picardo ( Star Trek: Voyager ) is out for revenge, so he gets put in charge of the hunt. His expert shark-hunter (a character inspired by Denzel Washington in Hunt for Red October) is joined by his rival, an Australian who hunts crocs for a living.

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    Mega-Shark vs Kolossus

    Mega-Shark vs Kolossus The world economy is in ruins because the Megalodons have prevented commerce taking place by sea. The damn things are so strong they can nose-flip a warship the way a dolphin nose-flips a beachball! The US Navy has developed well-armed mini-subs crewed by beautiful women, but this has limited success.

    The Russians are trying to recover by converting their power plants to run on red mercury. A salvage team try to retrieve some from Chernobyl, and accidentally reactivate a nuclear-powered giant robot named Kolossus. It was a last-ditch Cold War weapon, programmed to walk around the main cities of Europe and drop nuclear bomblets.

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    Mega-Shark vs Mecha-Shark

    Mega-Shark vs Mecha-Shark The action starts with a tug-boat that is towing an iceberg to Alexandria in Egypt. Over in Hawaii, a scientist (Christopher Judge - Stargate SG-1 ) has built a killer submarine piloted by his wife ( Elizabeth Rohm ). Rather than have an original design, the sub is a giant robotic shark. There is a vast amount of wasted space inside the sub, and the pilot's chair is not ergonomic or body-supporting. However, there is a logical reason for the strange design of the sub - regular technology seems useless against the shark. It can flip away torpedoes with its tail every time, and does so with such accuracy it takes out the nearest US Navy warship!

    The shark attacks a hospital ship in the Atlantic, then migrates to Sydney harbour in Australia. En route it attacks an oil-rig, and manages to menace a jetliner (at an altitude of several miles). Luckily, scientist Debbie Gibson phones the Admiral to offer an explanation for the shark's aggressive behaviour. She was hanging around in her laboratory, wearing jewelry and evening-wear instead of a lab coat, when she realised that the shark was sexually frustrated and eager to mate. It seems there is no Giant Octopus around to make another Sharktopus , but at least Ms Rohm still has a giant metal shark ...

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    Open Water 2: Adrift

    Open Water 2: Adrift Half a dozen tweenagers go to an isolated location. This time it is a yacht, in the middle of the ocean. The opening scene is reminiscent of Triangle , since the main female character has traumatic memories and has brought her child with her. However, there is no supernatural element to the storyline. This is a drama about real people with real problems, so to speak.

    The characters all go for a swim, out of sight of land. Unfortunately nobody bothered to let the ladder down. The men compete to climb back aboard, but since they have greater body mass than the women their attempts fail. And while the men try to fix the problem, the women prefer to fix the blame. Gradually things get more and more desperate.

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    Planet Of The Sharks

    Planet Of The Sharks This is basically Waterworld with sharks, courtesy of The Asylum. Not only has global warming melted the icecaps and drowned the continents, it has also killed the plankton and altered the food chain. Humans survive on a series of floating structures, but the sharks are starving and must visit the surface to feed.

    The sharks have unified in a single swark, led by a massive alpha female. The lady scientists have a plan. If they lure the sharks over a volcano and force an eruption, it should take out the threat. This will also cause a tsunami.

    The main plan is to end global warming by launching a CO2 scrubber into the atmosphere with a rocket. Unfortunately the launch platform is unstable so time is of the essence. Will the scrubber manage to reverse climate change and lower the sea level a hundred feet within six months? More importantly, will there still be enough hot women to repopulate the world?

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    The Reef

    The Reef Five fun-seekers head off to an isolated location. They end up getting stalked and picked off, one at a time. The twist is that, like in the film Open Water , the victims are swimming off the Great Barrier Reef and instead of being bumped off by a serial killer they are targeted by a great white shark.

    This is a great example of a suspenseful drama. The threat of the sharks is ever-present, but rarely seen.

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    Roboshark (2015)

    Roboshark (2015) A great white shark swallows an alien space probe that turns it into a cyborg. It can swim through solid ground, like the Sand Sharks but even less convincing.

    The shark threatens the city of Seattle, USA. Luckily, there is a well-intentioned scientist in a unit commanded by a trigger-happy US Navy Admiral. They also have a Billionaire named Bill Glates.

    The movie contains a constant bombardment of pop-culture references. Too many to count, pretty much every other line.

    The scientist's daughter discovers that the shark is plugged into social media. It even tries to communicate by twitter emoji. Eventually she decodes its message as Roboshark phone home.

    Roboshark heads for the Space Needle, which it plans to use as an antenna so it can broadcast its signal to the mothership.

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    Sand Sharks

    Sand Sharks This is predictable low-budget crap, filled with bikini babes and low-grade CGI monsters. The plot is not dissimilar to that of Jaws .

    The sheriff calls in a shark expert - but this one does not look like Richard Dreyfus ( Close Encounters of the Third Kind ). No, she is a buxom blonde who dresses like Lara Croft .

    The beach gets closed. But sleazy-yet-likeable Corin Nemec ( Stargate SG-1 ) wants to host a beach party, so he does everything he can to keep the beach open. Eventually (predictably) the party happens - with literally dozens (well, two dozen perhaps) of college spring breakers turning up to get eaten alive.

    The CGI SPFX are terrible. But the one-liners are okay, and the characters are quite compelling.

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    The Shallows

    The Shallows This movie got bad word-of-mouth because people went to see The Reef and end up watching a Sharknado rip-off.

    In all fairness, The Shallows starts out pretty well. It is decently shot and paced, with a lot of suspense. The protagonist ( Blake Lively ) goes surfing in a remote bay in Mexico. Unfortunately she ends up getting stalked by a great white shark.

    The problem is that suspension of disbelief is stretched beyond credulity. A real taster bite would have taken a massive chunk of muscle tissue out. She might have had the limb actually severed. Apparently Benchley had the right idea when he wrote the first attack scene in Jaws from the victim's POV. She feels something tug at her leg, and then discovers the limb missing. The prosthetic leg idea might have gone some way to making the film seem a bit less unrealistic.

    Worse, the Third Act makes Sharknado look like Jaws ! The quality may be umpteen generations of computer technology better, but it was completely overused. The trick Spielberg learned from Jaws was don't show too much of the shark. This director seems to have ignored that.

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    Sharknado

    Sharknado A shoal of twenty THOUSAND sharks are swimming up the Mexican coast towards California. In the worst timing ever their arrival gets combined with a hurricane that leaves Los Angeles knee-deep in water ... and lifts the sharks into the middle of town!

    Middle-aged surf bums Fin (Ian Ziering - 90210) and Jaason Simmons (Baywatch) team up with a Barfly (John Heard - Cat People ) and a sexy shotgun-toting waitress, Nova Clarke ( Cassie Scerbo ). Fin decides to save his ex-wife April ( Tara Reid ) and teenage daughter. Naturally they end up taking on the sharks - using a chainsaw!

    Despite its ridiculous premise, this is an entertaining film. It never promises more than it delivers.

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    Sharknado 2: The Second One

    Sharknado 2: The Second One Fin (Ian Ziering) and April ( Tara Reid ) have written a book about their experiences in the first film, and are on an route to NYC as part of their book tour. Fin has a Twilight zone moment as he looks out the window and sees something on the wing! The plane flies straight into yet another sharknado, which is bad news for air hostess Kelly Osborne . Luckily the laws of science do not apply, allowing Reid to hang out the door one-handed taking potshots at the sharks with an air marshal's pistol while Ziering lands a 747 in a tornado while not having any flight training.

    Once on the ground, things do not get any better. Rather than use guns, the New Yorkers are encouraged to take on the sharks with gardening implements. While this is foolhardy when the fish are airborne, it makes sense once they get stranded on dry land. Of course, the fish would suffocate without water, so a quicker cleanup would involve a bulldozer to scoop them all up before they start to rot. Sharks are an endangered group of species, BTW, so slaughtering them by the hundred would be highly illegal.

    The best sequence has got to be the one from the trailer, where Ziering chainsaws a Great White as it flies past him, almost completely avoiding splattering himself with blood.

    However, despite its lack of logic this is quite an enjoyable effort. Kari Wuhrer makes a return to genre material as Ziering's sister, trekking across NYC to safety in a typically contrived plot. The CGI is passable, and the dialogue is not all atrocious. In fact, one might surmise that this had a higher budget that the original, although the extra money never gets spent on the script.

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    Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

    Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! For saving both Los Angeles and New York City from shark-filled tornados, Fin (Ian Ziering) gets presented with a medal by the US President. It must be a Republican administration, because the Prez is white and the Veep is Ann Coulter . Even the infamous Michelle Bachmann gets to show her face. There are some Liberal cameos too - George RR Martin faces off against a flying shark.

    Ziering teams up with Nova Clarke ( Cassie Scerbo ) and Lucas Stevens (Frankie Muniz - Malcolm in the Middle). They must get from Washington DC to Florida, where Ziering's wife ( Tara Reid ) is hanging out with her mother ( Bo Derek ). There are lots more cameos, usually involving familiar faces getting eaten by flying sharks.

    To stop the sharknados, the heroes must reactivate the Space Shuttle and fly into space. Luckily, Ziering's father (David Hasslehoff - Piranha 3-DD ) is a retired NASA astronaut!

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    Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens

    Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens It has been a year since the last sharknado. A sharknado-themed hotel in Las Vegas has been built.

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    Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

    Sharknado 5: Global Swarming Fin (Ian Ziering) and April ( Tara Reid ) take their son to London. They are the official US delegates at a NATO conference. Before it starts, Fin is called off to help Nova Clarke ( Cassie Scerbo ) explore caves under Stonehenge. She has discovered cave paintings, like those in Prometheus , which tell of sharknados in ancient times. As they explore the caves, they encounter a Raiders Of The Lost Ark scenario. They even find a skeleton with a bullwhip and fedora!

    April and her son visit the MI6 HQ, where they meet the lo-budget version of Q. He has invented a few things that will probably be important to the plot later on.

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    The Last Sharknado: It's About Time

    Sharknado 6: The Final One Fin (Ian Ziering) arrives back in the Jurassic era. There are no Sharknados, but there is a Megalodon! Luckily he finds some old allies to help save the world. April ( Tara Reid ) and Nova Clarke ( Cassie Scerbo ) are back from the dead, saved by Fin's time-travelling son Gil. The heroes must time-travel forward, defeating each historical sharknado. The good news is that their time-machine is a badge pinned to Fin's chest. The bad news is that they must somehow accelerate to 88 miles per hour in order to enter the time portal in each period.

    At Camelot they get help from Merlin (Neil deGrasse Tyson - Stargate: Atlantis ) and Winter ( Marina Sirtis ).

    In the American Revolutionary War, the heroic British have weaponised the sharknado. The protagonists take the side of King George Washington. Nova meets her distant ancestor. Her secret plan is exposed - she wants to alter history and save her grandfather.

    In the Wild West the protagonists get caught between Billy the Kid and a crazy sheriff. For some reason a sharknado strikes the town, even though New Mexico is a desert a thousand miles from the sea. Luckily Skye ( Vivica A. Fox ) is in town to help out.

    In the 1950s, a reporter (Gilbert Gottfried - ) is covering a surfing event when it is hit by the sharknado. The protagonists meet Fin's mother Raye ( Tori Spelling ) and father Gilly (Dean McDermott - ), before they got married. Meanwhile, Fin is losing his son Gil who has gotten older in every time-jump.

    In 1997, Nova tries to save her grandfather again. Of course, it all goes horribly wrong. Fin and Skye get catapulted twenty thousand years into the future, where the human species is extinct and the Earth is ruled by robots. Yes, it is the Planet of the Aprils!

    Finally the survivors get to the smuggler's ship from the prologue to the first film. If they end the first sharknado, the cycle will be broken.

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    Sharktopus

    Sharktopus The two title monsters in MegaShark vs Giant Octopus were not FIGHTING ... They were f*cking! And this is the result.

    Down on the beaches of beautiful Mexico, hot bikini-babes indulge in seaside pursuits like metal-detecting and bungee-jumping. Roger Corman is a lecherous old man who drools over them. Unfortunately there is a CGI monster, half shark and half octopus, that can get into the shallowest waters ...

    Eric Roberts ( Expendables ) is the mad scientist who genetically engineered Sharktopus. He hires a tweenage cabin-boy in a motor-cruiser to hunt and capture the monster. Apparently the kid is an ex-SEAL who served in Iraq or something. He barely looks old enough to shave!

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    Super Shark

    Super Shark Oil Company CEO John Schneider ( Smallville ) orders drilling in deep waters. The result is that a massive shark is driven to the surface, and starts to cause a nuisance. It can breath air somehow, so it can launch itself onto the beach and flop around long enough to do serious damage to any bikini-clad hotties who are bouncing around within camera-shot.

    The US Military send in an experimental new tank. It was apparently built for mountainous regions of Afghanistan, so it can walk across the desert like an armour-plated camel. Now, a normal tank can cross the desert without problems, so something with legs has no real advantage. Worse, this particular prototype turns out to have an issue with overheating. Not something you look for in a vehicle designed to operate in combat in hot environments.

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    Swamp Shark

    Swamp Shark Kirsty Swanson claims that a giant CGI shark is swimming around the Louisiana Bayou, eating people. Sheriff Robert Davi ( Licence to Kill ) claims it is only a man-eating alligator. Of course, he is corrupt and the monster is (predictably) his fault.

    Luckily Kirsty meets DB Sweeney ( Strange Luck, The Event ), who helps her hunt the monster down.

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    Zombie Shark

    Zombie Shark A zombie shark starts to eat people. Luckily, Jason London ( Mallrats ) is a mercenary who does security work for the local secret lab.

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    Soon

    Soon

  • 2000
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