ORBzine - Relic Hunter TV Review

[Season 1 !Season 2 !Season 3 ]

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 1] Buddha's Bowl
Shown
Reviewed 26th November 2001 - Monday

The show starts in Nepal, 523 BC. A Buddhist monk has a magic bowl. Unfortunately he discovers it causes more problems than it solves, so he throws it in a river and lets it float away.

In the modern day (well, 1999) we are introduced to the stars. Nigel the English research assistant arrives at an American University where he meets his new cow-orker: the sexy blonde bimbo secretary Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) and the boss - Professor Sydney Fox ( Tia Carrere ).

Sydney and Nigel head off to Nepal to find the Bowl of Buddha. They have competition, in the form of a guy named Stewie.

For some reason, Nepal looks like a backlot in a cheap sound stage, filled with extras who look almost but not entirely completely non-Nepalese.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 2] The Smoking Gun
Shown
Reviewed 27th November 2001 - Tuesday

Chicago in 1930, and Al Capone ambushes a stool-pidgeon on his way to the FBI. The stoolie is framed for murdering someone with a diamond-studded pistol.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) is hired to find the pistol, supposedly to postumously clear the name of the accused stoolie. She and Nigel go to Capone's hotel, and register as a married couple.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 3] The Headless Nun
Shown
Reviewed 28th November 2001 - Wednesday

Nova Scotia, 1600s, and a nun is killed by a pioneer.

Modern day, and Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) flies back to the USA with a gold crown. A rival relic hunter, Ian Mackenzie, steals the crown and causes the plane to crash.

Sydney crash-lands near the nunnery, and gets nursed back to health by the inmates. They ask her to help solve the 400-year-old mystery of the missing nun, and she calls Nigel in to help.

The nun has been dead for four centuries, but the nunnery still has spooky goings-on. It turns out that this is more of a Scooby Doo storyline than anything else.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 4] Flag Day
Shown
Reviewed 29th November 2001 - Thursday

1846, and the Californian Gringos fight for independance from Mexico. A century and a half later, Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) goes in search of the California flag.

They ask for info from the local wise old man, Jake (Don Francks - La Femme Nikita ).

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 5] Thank You Very Much
Shown
Reviewed 30th November 2001 - Friday

Elvis Presley left a guitar in Germany while on National Service there in 1960. Yes, the definition of relic has been expanded quite a bit.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) is hired to locate and retrieve the guitar. However, the murky trail leads to a former Stasi commander.

The compulsory T&A scene is in a laundrette. Our heroes hide out there, chased by the villains, but the manager insists that they wash their clothes ...

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 6] Diamond in the Rough
Shown 30 Oct 99

The episode starts in Fenway Park, Boston in 1946. A World Series baseball game is on. The winning move is all due to a baseball glove, and has a reputation for supernaturally improving the wearer's skills.

In the modern day, Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) - stripped to her skivvies - has a knife-fight with her ex-lover. He is a rival Relic Hunter named Kurt Reiner (Thomas Kretschman - Stendahl Syndrome ). This is a nice setup, if you have ever wondered what would happen if Lara Croft: Tomb Raider got in a knife fight with Indiana Jones .

Back at College, Syd needs to do some work. An alumnus and major financial donor named Frank Newhouse (Mark Lutz - Angel: S3 ) wants this so-called relic, the American Baseball glove. It was lost several decades earlier. The player who lost it is portrayed by Gordon Pinsent ( Due South ).

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 7] Transformation
Shown 6 Nov 99

Salzburg, Austria, 1946. A team of Brits break into the alchemists' vault, where they steal the scrolls of Paraselsus.

In the modern day, US Government Intelligence Agent Derek Lloyd (Louis Mandylor - Silent Venom ) hires Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) to find one of the scrolls in Peru! It has the power to turn things into gold.

Sydney has to give up on doing sexy Tai Chi exercises and go on the mission. This leads on to lots of SPFX and mud wrestling.

For some reason, all the women in the episode appear to be crazy for Nigel. Even Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) sexually harasses him.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 8] Etched in Stone
Shown 13 Nov 99

Northumbria, 935 CE, and a Viking King is slain in battle. His comrades carve out a runestone in his honour.

A thousand years later, Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) is ordered to assist a visiting professor (Stewie, a recurring character) who wants to find the stone. For some reason, they search for it in Sweden ... even though most Vikings who raided England were from Norway.

Lindy Booth is credited, but instead of Claudia the office is run by a clone. She pops up at the end to let us know she has not been fired.

The token T&A scene is when our heroes have to search for the relic in a nudist colony!

Douglas O'Keeffe ( Dark Angel, Mutant X ) leads a Viking society that is also after the relic.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 9] The Book of Love
Shown 20 Nov 99

The episode starts in Italy, 1749, with Casanova doing research for his Book of Love.

In the modern day, Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) is taking a dip. Yes, this is the swimsuit edition!

A football (soccer, for the Yanks) player gets Sydney assigned to help him find Casanova's Book of Love. She complains that it is not a relic, although in previous episodes she has gone after a guitar and a baseball glove. Anyway, just like in the baseball episode the University needs a high-profile sports star for funding reasons.

A modern Casanova himself, the player's charms work on Sydney. They fly off to Milan, Italy, where Casanova lived. Luckily the museum has very lax security, though our Archaeologists do not bother talking to the museum director to ask permission or even to say what they found!

For some reason, yet another secret society is after the relic. This time it is fanatical Catholic monks.

Ramona Milano plays Anna.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 10] The Myth of the Maze
Shown
Reviewed 16th October 2001 - Tuesday

3000 BCE, and a couple of ancient Greeks find the magic ball of golden twine. The bad news, it is in a maze guarded by the minotaur.

Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) has a temp named Lynette working in her office again. Her regular assistant/blonde bimbo, Claudia ( Lindy Booth ), is on vacation in Athens. Yes, she finally gets something to do this episode.

Claudia gets seduced by a pretty-boy Greek-American type called Stavros (Yannick Bisson - Murdock Mysteries). Sydney and Nigel (the guy with an English accent) have to go rescue her.

They go on a quest to find the golden twine in the maze of King Minos. Unfortunately, Stavros' estranged father is a greedy millionnaire who wants the twine for himself. This provides an excuse for a quick fist-fight.

The writer's knowledge of ancient Greece seems to have come from Xena . It is only a pity that this show does not have such high production values.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 11] Irish Crown Affair
Shown
Reviewed 17th October 2001 - Wednesday

Ireland, 1000AD - yes, 17 years before the Battle of Clontarf. Brian Boru the High King of Ireland is prematurely killed by a Viking. Well, he is meant to be Irish but he and his whole army wear the famous Three Lions of England! Boru's sidekick Hugh O'Donnell takes the Irish crown and hides it.

Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) starts the day with some expert sword-fencing, her new sport of the day. She is approached by Molly, a childhood friend whose Internet pen-pal has discovered a clue to the location of Boru's crown, a centuries-old parchment that someone apparently bought in a Dublin flea-market. Apparently the pen-pal's flat has been ransacked and he will not answer his telephone. Instead of phoning the Dublin police and letting them deal with it, Sydney and pals get on the first plane to Eire.

The pen-pal turns out to be a comic-relief twit. The other local Sydney recruits to help them is an O'Donnell, descendant of Hugh O'Donnell. According to this show, the O'Donnells were called traitors by the Irish for giving their allegience to the English King, Henry II. Typical for American TV, this show embraces revisionist Anti-English history. In reality Henri II was not English, he was a French Angevin. His knights were Cambro-Normans, in other words French Vikings who lived in Wales.

The story needs a bit of conflict, so our heroes get some competition in their quest. The villain is an Irish-American millionaire who is obsessed with his roots. Well, at least the writers got something right.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 12] Emperor's Bride
Shown
Reviewed 18th October 2001 - Thursday

1000 BCE, Huang River in China. At the funeral of a Princess, a valuable necklace is placed around her neck. However, the coffin is stolen and taken down the river to parts unknown.

Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and her English sidekick, Nigel (Christien Anholt), get word that the relic is in Alaska. When they get there they discover that Sydney's rival, a big tall blond fellow who is her ex-lover, is after the relic for himself.

Reiner (Thomas Kretschman - Stendahl Syndrome ) is back, last seen in Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 6] Diamond in the Rough. Another rival relic-hunter (and old flame of Syd's) crops up too - Dallas Carter (John Schneider - Smallville ).

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 13] Afterlife and Death
Shown
Reviewed 19th October 2001 - Friday

Egypt, 1425 BCE, and a pharaoh is buried with a meteor containing a fist-sized diamond. We flash forward to the current day, and an archaeologist is framed for stealing it. He is a pal of Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ), who heads off to help. First stop is Cairo, to free her friend and pick up the trail. Next they go to Amsterdam, where the thief plans to sell the gem.

This is pretty much the same as the other episodes in the show. The difference is, they have certainly upped the T&A factor. They disguise themselves as belly dancers, so Nigel has to shave his own legs.

Claudia's obsession of the week is reincarnation. This actually become s aplot point in a later episode. Also, it is worth noting that while she is a shallow bimbo she also reads a lot of books. They may be pseudo-science, which makes her look like a gullible idiot since she is studying in college, but at least she CAN and DOES read books.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 14] Nine Lives
Shown
Reviewed 22nd October 2001 - Monday

Egypt 1895, and a thief who plundered the tomb of the cat-god takes the train from Cairo to Alexandria. However, the statue he stole is cursed, and he dies at the claws of a giant cat.

Come the modern day, and Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) is hired by Rena Mero to retrieve the statue. Yes, it has once again been stolen.

Sydney and her sidekick run around an unexciting part of NYC, but the episode does have MAJOR babe factor in the form of Ms Mero. Also, the fact that she is WWF wrestler Sable means there is a pretty good cat-fight at the climax.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 15] Affair De Couer
Shown
Reviewed 23rd October 2001 - Tuesday

Scotland, 1430, and a castle in the Highlands is scene to Romeo and Juliet-style suicide love-pact. The lovers had a pair of matching rings. If she looks familiar, she is the now much more famous Malin Ackerman !

Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and her sidekick head to the castle, now a hotel. Also on the trail of the relic is Sydney's ex-BF Francois. The predictable anachronisms include a post-Rennaissance portrait and a secret push-button door.

Sydney's babelicious pal ( Claire Rankin ) who wants the rings for her marriage takes an interest in the caretaker instead of her absentee fiance Brad (Anthony Lemke - Dark Matter ).

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 16] A Vanishing Art
Shown
Reviewed 24th October 2001 - Wednesday

Budapest 1897, and the Royal Sceptre of Hungary mysteriously disappears during a performance by a famous stage illusionist. In the modern day, Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) is called in by an illusionist friend of hers who claims he has a clue to the sceptre's whereabouts.

Sydney and her sidekick Nigel visit Atlantic City, New Jersey. They spend the episode wandering about the Magic Mansion, a theatre filled with strange illusionists' props. They have to pass themselves off as the Magician's assistants, which means we get to see them in some interesting costumes.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 17] A Good Year
Shown
Reviewed 25th October 2001 - Thursday

1792 France, and Marie Antoinette's lover hides the Crown Jewels of France.

Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and her English sidekick Nigel (Christien Anholt) go to the chateau of the lover's descendant. They work out that the jewels are in a wine bottle. However, the bottle is stolen and they must retrieve it.

Much like Highlander: The series , this is a Canadian TV show partly funded with French money. As a result, the second part of the Season has now moved to France. Yes, instead of being shot on a sound stage in Canada this episode is shot on actual historical locations in France.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 18] The Last Knight
Shown
Reviewed 26th October 2001 - Friday

Recent episodes were set in a castle and in France. This episode starts with both - at the HQ of the Knights Templar, circa 1300 when the King of France had them arrested. However, the leader's sword was taken to a place of safety ...

One of the interested parties our heroes encounter is Michel (Hugh Dancy - Ella Enchanted ).

One of the film companies responsible for the show is Gaumont, responsible for Highlander: The series . This means that the show is filmed in actual Paris locations, including MacLeod's barge on the Seine!

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 19] Love Letter
Shown
Reviewed 29th October 2001 - Monday

Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel head off to France yet again! This time they are after the deeds to a village, lost from their Aristocratic owner during the French Revolution.

Meanwhile, Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) manages to cover for Sydney's absence.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 20] Possessed
Shown
Reviewed 30th October 2001 - Tuesday

Libya, 1300, and a gorgeous (and very caucasian) female vampire claims a victim.

Back at Trinity College in the modern day, and Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) is researching the topic. A friend of hers is mysteriously ill, and he suspects his fiance ( Jane March ) is a vampire. After all, she does wear a mystical medallion the size of her fist.

The only way to break the curse is to locate the sacred sundial of Zeus. Hmm. Anyway, luckily for them the sundial is at a feminist commune in Brussels. Sydney goes to steal it, but her wimpish assistant Nigel falls under the vampire womens' spell.

Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) meets a Goth guy named Matt (Greg Bryk - Bitten ).

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 21] Nothing but the Truth
Shown
Reviewed 2nd November 2001 - Friday

The Barbary Coast, 1534. The relic this time round is a 12th Century Syrian chalice that afflicts the owner with compulsive truth-telling.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) gets a posthumous message from her deceased mentor, Professor Chandler. She and her assistant Nigel team up with Sydney's rival, the short fat balding con-man named Stewie. He is on the run for his life.

The chalice is tracked down to a Paris cookery school, set in the same old chateau from several previous episodes. However, as always there are some completely different French gangsters. There are also a couple of English actors in the cast. One is the chef (Paul Brooke - Lair of the White Worm ), the other is the man who played Silas in Highlander: The Series [Season 5] . Also among the students at the cookery school are three blonde babes, the Dahn triplets - wooden acting but great to look at.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 22] Memories on Montmartre
Shown 27 May 00
Reviewed 1st November 2001 - Thursday

Paris, 1939. A man in top hat and tuxedo hides a tiara. Unfortunately a femme fatale is after him, and not in a good way.

Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and her English sidekick Nigel (Christien Anholt) go in search for her grandmother's lost locket. It will lead them to the tiara of the Russian Royal Family. On the way they end up in a couple of compromising positions, in a confessional and in a crypt.

Meanwhile, Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) is assigned to rent a new apartment for Nigel the sidekick.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 1] The Put Back
Shown 23 Sep 00

The show has a new opening credits sequence with flashy new SPFX. Lindy Booth is finally listed as a star, not merely a Guest-Star!

Kuba, Africa, 100AD. A relic has magic powers. Just like every week.

An old friend of Sydney's arrives at her office. He is only 35 years old, but a relic he discovered has aged him rapidly. Now he needs her to help him return the artefact to its rightful owner.

Claudia books our heroes travel into the country. The borders are closed, but she gets them a train from Angola. Yes, she is actually quite effective when she needs to be. That said, she does not get to go on the adventure this week. She stays in the USA to look after the OAP.

Unfortunately the local militia tends to execute intruders, but Sydney and Nigel disguise themselves as Xian missionaries. Blu Mankuma is hanging around. Is he a trustworthy contact or a double-crossing villain?

At the end, Syd gets a telescopic pistol-crossbow as a gift. This will be a useful tool in future adventures.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 2] Dagger of Death
Shown Sept 2000
Reviewed 10th January 2002 - Thursday

Temple of Kali, 500AD, India. A Kali-cult use a magic dagger to perform human sacrifices. Odd, since in real life Kali's cult (the Thugee) used garottes!

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel go to a Silence of the Lambs style ultra-security prison. It was obviously filmed on a cheaper version of the same set. Her fellow Professor has been arrested for murder - he was possessed by the spirit of the dagger.

Sydney must return the dagger to its sheath, somewhere in Calcutta. However, present-day Kali-worshippers are after it too. Luckily she has her telescoping pistol crossbow with her.

As always in this kind of thing, when there is a curse then one of the regular cast must fall victim to it.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 3] Last of the Mochicas
Shown Oct 2000
Reviewed 11th January 2002 - Friday

South America, 662 AD. The soul of a dead Pre-Incan Warrior is kept in a bottle. In the modern day, Sydney enters the tomb and finds the bottle.

Sydney and Nigel are pursued by a rival, Strom. They get to the airport ahead of him - well, it is just a tiny airstrip in a remote area of Peru. However, their plane (with a motley band of untrustworthy passengers) is shot down by persons unknown.

Will they make it out of the jungle in one piece? Who is the traitor in cahoots with Strom?

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 4] The Legend of the Lost
Shown 14 Oct 00

Vanuatu Islands, 4800 BCE. The tribal chief is selected by a fight to the death.

US Government Intelligence Agent Derek Lloyd (Louis Mandylor - Silent Venom ) is back. He kidnaps Nigel to get Professor Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) to listen to a new mission briefing. She must go to New Guinea, where a village of an extinct tribe has been discovered. A local government official, Badur (Phil Akin - Highlander: The Series ), reluctantly co-operates.

Syd and Nigel are forced to parachute into the jungle. Lloyd tags along, as team leader of the expedition. The real target of the mission is Jonathan Quelch (Jeff Wincott - The Expendables ), a US Agent who has become a cut-price Colonel Kurtz.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 5] Fertile Ground
Shown 21 Oct 00

Hawaii, 1779. caucasian pirates massacre peaceful native villagers, and steal the mystical idol. It turns out that they are Captain Cook's crew, eager to avenge his murder at the hands of the natives.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) goes to Hawaii for her High School reunion. Sydney's high-school BF Tony (Steven Bauer - Snapdragon) is tracking down the stolen idol ...

It turns out that rather than just take the idol's eyes, an enormous pair of diamonds, the ship's carpenter took the entire idol with him. Worse, he managed to keep it with him when he and some friends were cast adrift for a failed mutiny attempt. Then he spent the rest of his life building a specially boobytrapped cave for it, just like One-Eyed Willie in The Goonies .

Nigel is stuck in the office with Claudia. Syd sends him off to Madagascar, thus splitting the team between three continents. However, he soon gets a broken leg so Tony becomes the sidekick for the adventure.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 6] Gypsy Jigsaw
Shown 28 Oct 00

Romania, 1830. The relic is the crown of the true king of the Gypsies.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) gets a collect call from Bucharest, to let her know a young friend has sent her some relics in a package. The postman comes directly to her office, rather than just leave the packages at the College's front office.

The relics are handpainted tarot cards. Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) is an expert in tarot, so she tags along with Syd and Nigel. They go to Bucharest, to find the crown before the villain does.

As always, there is tendency in the show to have one-off villains. This week, the villain is a mysterious criminal named The Vulture. The real mystery with one-off villains is that because we have not seen them before, we do not know who they are until the plot-twist face-reveal scene.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 7] Three Rivers to Cross
Shown 4 Nov 00

1245 AD, Three Rivers, China. The relic is a Jade Statue guarded by Buddhist monks. Then the Mongols invade.

In the modern day, the PRC Government is building a hydro-electric dam on the site. The Buddhist monks have decided to do a sit-in protest until the statue is found. Strangely the Chinese Communist Party actually cares about public opinion.

Syd's dad (Fred Dryer - Death Before Dishonour) is an engineer building the dam. He calls Sydney and Nigel over to visit him in Hong Kong. The Chinese cultural attache refuses to help, but they go looking for the statue themselves.

Syd has not been in touch with her dad much. It turns out that he is getting married to a Pamela Anderson looklike.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 8] Roman Holiday
Shown 11 Nov 00

Rome, 44BC. The relic is Caesar's breastplate, made by an alchemist. No living man can slay the one who wears it.

Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) is sent to the airport to deliver an item to Professor Penrose. Unfortunately even in the pre-911 era, only passengers were allowed through security. She has to buy a First Class ticket - well, her daddy is mega-rich - and ends up tailing a thief to Rome.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel are elsewhere on a different relic hunt. Communications are difficult, since they are on the run from gun-toting thugs. As soon as they realise the situation, they fly to Rom so they can save her.

To infiltrate a suspect's Julius Caesar themed party, Sydney dresses as a Xena: Warrior Princess type and engages in a gladiatorial demonstration - with real weapons!

The Italian government offers Syd a million-Lira reward for discovering the breastplate. Claudia is excited at the prospect of being millionaires, even though her father already has lots of money. Nigel informs her that a million Lira is only worth about five hundred dollars. But surely the Italian Lira was abolished when they switched to the Euro in the mid-Nineties?

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 9] Cross of Voodoo
Shown
Reviewed 4th April 2002 - Thursday

Haiti, late 18th Century. A Voodoo cult uses an Xian-style cross in attempts to raise zombies. Well, it is a cross between Spanish Catholicism and African religions.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) hunts for a couple of missing students in New Orleans. She encounters a Professor (Nigel Bennett - Lexx ), a witch-doctor (Peter Mensah - Spartacus: Blood And Sand ) and an evil priest (Andrew Gillies - Codename Eternity ).

Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) is studk in the office this episode. She spends her time sexually harrassing the UPS delivery boy. He is asking for it, wearing a uniform. Of course, it is only harmless banter. It is not as if magic is real, and she could use a Voodoo love spell to coerce him against his will.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 10] Lost Contact
Shown Nov 2000
Reviewed 12th April 2002 - Friday

The story starts in 1824, with two renegade redcoats burying their dead comrade in the jungles of Burma.

The main story may seem familiar. An expedition finds a lost city, deep in the jungle. Home base has a satellite vid-phone link, and see the expedition get taken out by some unknown force. Yes, this owes something to the movie Congo .

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel fly in as the rescue team, along with their untrustworthy employer.

Meanwhile, Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) stays behind in the University office to distract the boss-man's handsome young tech support.

This episode is dedicated to Chris Lamon, a stuntman who worked on the episode.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 11] The Reel Thing
Shown Nov 2000
Reviewed 12th April 2002 - Friday

Egypt, 1516 BCE. Pharoh Amun the Second is buried with his possessions.

A genuine ancient Eqyptian artefact turns up on a film-set in London, England. Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel visit Egypt, to locate the lost tomb that the artefact came from.

Meanwhile, Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) stays behind in England as technical advisor on the movie set. Well, at least she is out of the office. Unfortunately she spends her time on the movie set by getting the star to show a lot more skin for the audience's sexual pleasure. She never gets called on it, because the character in question is male, but in the post-Weinstein era this seems politically incorrect.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 12] M.I.A.
Shown 20 Jan 01

St Petersburg, Russia, 1886. The Tsar gives his wife a Faberge egg.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) helps Kate (the Interpol agent from Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 3] Last of the Mochicas ) in a sting operation on a fence who handles stolen relics. Syd is abducted from under the noses of the cops, but the bait (a Faberge egg) is left behind.

Nigel, Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) and Kate have to find Sydney. They make a list of all her enemies from the last two Seasons. This is a good excuse for a clip show!

Syd is held prisoner in New York City, illustrated by a shot of the NYC skyline that prominently features the Twin Towers. To add some jeopardy to the story, she is about to be sacrificed by a cult. Presumably this was originally intended to be the Egyptian cult in Relic Hunter [Season 1, Episode 14] Nine Lives . However, due to a clash of personalities between the female stars (Carrere and Mero) there was never a follow-up to the original episode. The result was that the ongoing plot-line and recurring villain never happened, and the show was a series of stand-alone episodes until Season Three!

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 13] Out of the Past
Shown January 2001
Reviewed 4th April 2002 - Thursday

Egypt, 30BC. Cleopatra's handmaidens look after her flashy jewelry.

Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) claims to have memories of a previous life. Apparently she was one of Cleopatra's handmaidens! Unlikely as this is, it would make her a contemporary of Julius Caesar (who was featured a few episodes ago in Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 8] Roman Holiday). However, she turns out to have an uncanny insight into the ancient events ...

Claudia can lead Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) to Cleo's lost necklace. They fly to Cairo, even though Syd has been persona non grata in Egypt since Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 11] The Reel Thing. Maybe Syd's friend, the curator of the Cairo museum, sorted it out - although he should have done so at the time. However, they are stalked by a relic-thief nicknamed The Scorpion.

It is good to see Claudia out of the office again. However, she is not as ditzy as usual - despite the powerful performance she just seems out of character.

Nigel has to stay in the office and do Claudia's work. This involves helping an accountant audit the office's books. However, this is not a bad thing because she is a hot blonde. Nigel's real comeuppance is when he gets his own previous live revealed - he was a submissive cave-man, and Sydney was his dominant wife.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 14] Eyes of Toklamanee
Shown February 2001
Reviewed 13th August 2005 - Saturday

Mississippi Valley, 1605. A couple of caucasian explorers get sacrificed in a temple equipped with a couple of massive electrified geodes. Luckily a third white man witnesses this, because someone has to write a journal for future archaeologists to use.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) goes to St Louis, Missouri, where a Grad student claims to have uncovered clues to a secret artefact from Cahokia, the ancient native American city. It is buried under a construction site run by Moore (Beau Starr - Due South ).

The official archaeologist is a woman. Yes, Syd's female rival is a proper archaeologist, not a relic hunter! Also, the grad student acts as Syd's sidekick, so Nigel only gets a few scenes in the office with Claudia ( Lindy Booth ).

The Cahokians' powers are not written off as magic. Instead, we are expected to believe in a stone-age society that build a nuclear reactor!

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 15] Run, Sydney, Run
Shown February 2001
Reviewed 13th August 2005 - Saturday

In the Ural Steppes of Russia, 339 BC, a couple of warriors brawl for possession of a magnificent sword.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel recover an artefact. Sydney (in a wetsuit showing her cleavage) discovers a perfectly-preserved sword from a lake. Then they are ambushed by rebels. Syd wakes up alone in a strange house ...

This ep has little to do with the actual relic - it is just a plot device to put Syd in peril. The most noteable thing about it is, it is a thousand-year-old sword that has spent the last two centuries in a lake, and yet it is not even SLIGHTLY rusted. The story turns into The Most Dangerous Game .

Lindy Booth is still in the credits. She is not a bimbo, she is very mature. For a change.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 16] French Connection
Shown 24 Feb 01

Church of Cordiers, Salon, France - 1600. Tomb raiding churchmen break into the last resting place of Nostradamus. The Cardinal steals the dead man's medallion.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel on a lecture tour in Paris, France. They are hired by a man who claims to work for British Intelligence. He wants them to locate the Nostradamus medallion. Supposedly it will help them to translate a prophecy that will predict the identity of an assassin who is about to kill a VIP.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 17] Don't Go Into the Woods
Shown 16 Apr 01

A Scottish Princess ( Lizzie Brochere ) goes MIA in the Carpathians, in 1711CE. She is en route to her arranged wedding, carrying a special relic - the Golden Falcon of Mirabor. Local werewolves get the blame for her disappearance.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) is busy grading term papers, when she gets a phone call from a pseudo-history writer. Of course, the lure of adventure is greater than her love of her day job.

When they get to the Carpathians, they discover the writer has also gone missing. Then the brakes on their rental car fail, although Sydney attributes this to Nigel's incompetence.

Back in the office, Claudia tries to coordinate the search. She uses her phone - Nigel has a mobile - and she mentions having a fax machine. However, she does not mention email or the web. This was made in the year 2001, when the Internet was already a part of everyday life.

Syd and Nigel follow the trail to a small village in the mountains. The locals are a creepy bunch, and they appear to be hiding something. The area is to werewolves what Transylvania is to vampires, and the full moon is due soon.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 18] Midnight Flight
Shown 23 Apr 01

Germania, circa 400 A.D. King Gunther of the Visigoths has captured the sceptre of Hannibal. Apparently it will make his army undefeatable in battle. Luckily he has a man clad in chainmail who constructs a secret vault filled with boobytraps.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel are hired by Frederick, an Englishman who works at the Louvre museum in Paris. They have the location to the vault, but the entrance mechanism has deteriorated over time. This makes it more dangerous, not less.

There is a rival relic hunter after the sceptre. One thing leads to another, and Sydney has to break into another vault - a modern hi-tech one. She has to attend a party at an Embassy, which means she gets to wear a slinky black dress.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 19] The Executioner's Mask
Shown 30 Apr 01

In 1789 a French executioner's mask is cursed.

The relic ends up among the props of some Paris fashion models. Fortunately Sydney and Nigel are hanging out at the photo shoot when one of the models gets mutilated by the cursed item. To end the curse they must find the executioner's tomb and place the mask on his face.

Back at Trinity College, the regular office is being remodelled. Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) is in another location, with furniture that looks strangely French. It seems she is more mature and husky-voiced than usual. Evidently her competency is inversely proportional to the pitch of her voice. The higher her voice, the lower her competency and vice versa.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 20] The Royal Ring
Shown 7 May 01

Tower of London, 1536. The relic is Anne Boelyn's ring, which she gave to her young daughter - Princess Elizabeth. Henry VIII took the ring, and placed it in a safe location. Then he wrote a poem with clues so Elizabeth could find the ring, although for some reason she never solved the puzzle.

Nigel's brother Preston (Crispin Bonham Carter - ) needs Syd's help. They have an intense sibling rivalry. Syd has a rival of her own, Palmer (Stephen Billington - ), hired by the British Museum's head curator (Vernon Dobtcheff - ).

Nigel is reunited with his ex-girlfriend, Amanda ( Rachel Pickup ). Unfortunately she is now Preston's girlfriend.

Our heroes follow the clues to Leeds Castle in Kent. However, there is yet another rival relic hunter on their tail.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 21] Set in Stone
Shown 14 May 01

1595, a Saint turns a Demon into stone in a Hungarian Monastery. A Demon who looks like The Kurgan from Highlander ...

Nigel, told the story as a boy, investigates. But the monks deny all knowledge of it.

Meanwhile, Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) has a run-in with the decorator who is re-modelling the old office. This subplot is set up as a power struggle between two powerful women. Unfortunately there is no follow-up, and the storyline goes nowhere.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 2, Episode 22] Deadline
Shown 21 May 01

1099 AD, Jerusalem during the First Crusade. Some French crusaders find the relic, a Holy Cross in a box in an underground crypt.

Syd's ex-BF Alan Conroy has a necron virus, and she has to find the relic to exchange it for the cure. They have twelve hours before the virus turns fatal. Luckily, Alan is not contagious. Even when his blood is spilled, the virus is not transmitted to anyone. So how did the villains manage to infect him with it in the first place?

Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) has accompanied Syd and Nigel to Paris for the lecture tour. However, rather than do field work she gets stuck doing the research. The only difference is that instead of being in the office all day she gets to stay in a Paris Hotel. At least she gets to turn up for the climax.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 1] Wages of Sydney
Shown 17 Sep 01

Claudia ( Lindy Booth ) is gone from the office. Apparently she had a fashion-related emergency - a dream job in NYC! The replacement, Karen ( Tanja Reichert ), jiggles when she walks. However, she has to handle the department's budget submission for the Uni committee to approve.

Quan Shu Fortress, Manchuria. The relic is a Dragon's Egg, loaded with ten thousand drops of liquid explosive since 1359 CE!

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel visit Red China, which is depicted by way of green-screen backdrop. The inhabitants all speak English, and dress like RenFair folks with guns. Somehow this does not match my image of the PRC.

Syd and Nigel face a couple of rival relic-hunters, Kane and Shandar (Peter Williams - Stargate SG-1 . Funny how Syd never has recurring villains!

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 2] Mr. Right
Shown 24 Sep 01

1459AD in Bali, Indonesia. A Princess visits a buddhist pagoda, and the mysterious priestess lets her use a bowl that shows the future.

In the modern day, Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel visit Indonesia. Syd bumps into an old flame. Then she gets recruited by US Government Intelligence Agent Derek Lloyd (Louis Mandylor - Silent Venom ).

The result is a comedy of errors, as she struggles to perform the mission without her lover knowing about it.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 3] Sydney at Ten
Shown 1 Oct 01

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) has a flashback to twenty years ago. When Syd was a wee girl at Boarding school - St Beatrice's School for Girls - her mentor/favourite teacher was murdered. Now she gets to hunt down the killer.

Fabrice De Viega (Simon MacCorkindale - Jaws 3-D ) produced and guest-stars.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 5] The Light of Truth
Shown 8 Oct 01

843 CE, an Arabian sorceror reveals liars. The relic is The Light of Truth.

Syd's student, an Arab prince named Shareem, wants to find the relic so he can use it to uncover traitors when he inherits his father's throne. Syd turns him down, so he goes to her rival Frank Kafka (Ralph Moeller - Scorpion King ). Kafka pretends to help, but is duplicitous ...

Syd and Nigel team up with the Prince's bodyguard, Yusuf (Frank Pellegrino). They take a train across the desert.

Karen ( Tanja Reichert ) is stuck in the office. She has to sort out a deal with Nigel's landlord, before Nigel gets evicted.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 5] Treasure Island
Shown 15 Oct 01

1790, the Spanish Main. Some pirates leave their Captain for dead after he refuses to share his loot. This is about a century after the high point of piracy in the area. After all, by this time John Harrison's clocks had allowed the accurate calculation of longitude. The Carribean had been well settled, to the extent that the British Empire valued it far above the North America colonies.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) goes to the Carribean, to find pirates' booty on the real-life Treasure Island. She is accompanied by Jamie Palmerston, the woman who discovered Robert Louis Stephenson's secret notes. They do not do any bikini scenes, but there is a lot of cleavage on display.

Nigel meets Syd and Jamie on the island. He has a local fan, a teenage girl named Sam.

The local Afro-Carribean beach-bums take an interest in the strangers. This goes beyond the usual tourist-chasing sneak-thief stuff.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 6] Star of Nadir
Shown 22 Oct 01

Palace of the Talibs, Endostan, 1423 AD. The priceless jewel is stolen by a ninja.

Syd and Nigel take the train across the border into Endostan. They have been summoned by her friend, a former relic hunter named Danielle Wild West who is now the country's Queen. Unfortunately they discover she has died in unusual circumstances.

The country is in turmoil. The Sultan claims there are traditionalist Islamic fudamentalists who want to end the modernisation and westernisation he has started.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 7] Vampire's Kiss
Shown 29 Oct 01

Czechoslovakia, 1720. A vampire conducts a black mass, worshipping satan by drinking human blood from a chalice. Why he is in central Europe instead of the east, and during the Renaissance rather than the Middle Ages, is explained later. The mysterious vamp makes his getaway before some vamp-hunting torch-wielders break in and steal the chalice.

Karen's night-class tutor, Lucas Blackmore (Adrian Paul - Highlander The Series ), is a historical writer suspected of being a vamp. A blood-sucker, that is. He and Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) go to Transylvania to hunt for the chalice - a relic once owned by Vlad Tepes, AKA Dracula.

Nigel and Karen stay back in the office and do research. They spend more time researching Lucas than the chalice, because if Lucas is a vampire then Syd may be at risk. Also, there is a dangerous vamp-hunter on the loose.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 9] Devil Doll
Shown 5 Nov 01

Central America, 1488 AD. A Mayan step-pyramid includes a ruby-eyed idol.

Modern day, Sydney and Nigel trek through the jungle and enter the pyramid's secret chamber. The whole thing is a low-budget Raiders of the Lost Ark sequence. They even have an untrustworthy guide, although instead of Alfred Molina they have a guy who makes Ziva-isms (like in NCIS).

The secret chamber is a short walk from the nearest train platform. The service is not great - the train is an old steam engine, and it is an hour late. Worse, it is so slow that they never get more than five clicks from the chamber. Just as well, because the relic is so dangerous that they have to turn around and put it back where they found it.

Syd and Nigel end up chased through the jungle by local guerillas. Luckily, Karen and a helpful NSA guy use a spy satellite to find them a safe path.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 9] Incognito
Shown 12 Nov 01

New Guinea, 1522 AD. A group of African-American extras dance around in Hawaiian garb, using Native American ululations and waving an Irish Keltic serrated spear.

Papua New Guinea, Present Day. Syd and Nigel meet a relic thief who looks just like Nigel. Luckily, he is a moron.

Kate the Interpol Agent pays Trinity College a visit. She recruits Nigel to go undercover as the relic thief to infiltrate the Gural Nataz - a secret society in Lisbon, Portugal. Another stroke of luck, the relic Nigel is pretending to have stolen is one that gives superhuman strength and speed to anyone affected by it.

Meanwhile, Sydney is off attending the 15th Annual Anthropology Conference of North America. As a result, Nigel is the story's prime protagonist and Kate is the supporting character. It is only a shame that Claudia was not retained as a character, so she and Nigel could have had adventures together.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 10] All Choked Up
Shown 19 Nov 01

Claudia Christian uses an Ancient Greek necklace to magically brainwash Sydney ( Tia Carrere ).

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 11] Warlock of Nu Theta Phi
Shown 14 Jan 02

The story starts in 1692, at the Salem witch-trials. The relic is a magical amulet.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 12] Women Want to Know
Shown 21 Jan 02

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) is trapped in a cave with a blonde TV presenter. But at least the cameraman is practical.

The local guerillas, supposedly Asians, all speak very Americanised pigdin English rather than a native dialect.

Nigel and Karen ( Tanja Reichert ) have to convince the Ambassador to help.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 13] Fire in the Sky
Shown 28 Jan 02

1398 CE, US Pacific Northwest. Native Americans see a UFO land.

Modern Day, and Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) tells her students about how that particular tribe mysteriously switched from animal sketches to circles and triangles. Coincidentally, a modern descendant of the tribe visits her with clues to a relic ...

This is a serious excavation, although Sydney is in a black lace and fishnet cleavage top. In the boonies, Nigel is sexually harrassed by biker George Buzo ( Sinbad, Mutant X ). Worse, the Native sheriff and the Federal MIBs are out to catch the interlopers. Syd is up against a MIB conspiracy concerning Project Echelon.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 14] Hunting with the Enemy
Shown 4 Feb 02

Fabrice De Viega (Simon MacCorkindale - Jaws 3-D ) is back. Roger R. Cross ( First Wave ) guest-stars.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 15] Antianeiral
Shown 11 Feb 02

1200 BCE, Asia Minor. Herakles duels an Amazon warrior-woman.

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) gets a call from one of her mentors - the one who got her the job at the College. He falls foul of Joanie Laurer (Chyna the WWF wrestler) and her Amazon women. She is the second WWF woman to appear in the show - Sable appeared in Season 1 - and she played a similar role commanding the armed wing of a secret society in Dark Angel .

Syd and Nigel hunt for the Amazons in Turkey. The villainous women have armoured wonderbras - they want to be THE Amazons!

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 16] Under the Ice
Shown 18 Feb 02

Jeff Wincott guest-stars.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 17] Arthur's Cross
Shown 15 Apr 02

An artefact linked to King Arthur is involved in a murder in modern-day England. Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel must discover the artefact and avoid getting murdered themselves!

The artefact is the cross with the latin inscription Here Lies Arthur, King of the Britons. This is actually a fake, made for the Angevins circa 1190, but since it is still 800 years old it is worth looking for!

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 18] Faux Fox
Shown 22 Apr 02

Kenneth Colley ( Empire Strikes Back ) guest-stars.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 19] Pandora's Box
Shown
Reviewed 30th October 2005 - Sunday

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel must recover Pandora's Box. If this rather literal reference to a Greek legend seems familiar, that is because it was later used in Lara Croft: Cradle of Life .

They get to dress up as Belly-dancers. Predictably, Nigel is the one who has to do the sexy dance.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 20] The Warlord
Shown
Reviewed 15th February 2006 [Wednesday]

Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) and Nigel are at a dig in a cave in the Middle East. They are after the Khalida's saddle - the magical belt of a woman who led the local nomad tribes in Bekkastan, 1401 CE.

Our heroes must team up with a local horse-thief and his sister, who seek to unite the tribes and save them from the rule of a vicious usurper.

This ep is unusual in a couple of ways. Karen ( Tanja Reichert ) does not appear, except as an ansafone message when Nigel phones home. Evidently the ep was entirely shot on location. Secondly, the belt's power appears to be scientific rather than magical!

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 21] Fountain of Youth
Shown

Nigel is with Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) at an Archaeology convention, when he is violently assaulted by a gorgeous blonde. Poor lad - it is the most action he has had in ages.

It turns out she was after Nigel's elder brother Preston (Crispin Bonham Carter - ), who has clues to a sample of water from the Fountain of Youth. It was sent to Elizabeth I by the Spanish, but never made it.

Syd's rival/old flame Shaun James is also after the relic. Ian MacNiece ( Rome ) is the Duke.

Relic Hunter Relic Hunter [Season 3, Episode 22] So Shall It Be
Shown

Stonehenge, 121 AD. The last of the Druids prepare to hide their golden sundial things, before the Romans get them. However, Fabrice De Viega (Simon MacCorkindale - Jaws 3-D ) pops up and calls Sydney ( Tia Carrere ) a murderer. Yes, this is Syd's dream!

Syd and Nigel are summoned to England. Well, at least the architecture and car number-plates look British! A mysterious stranger gets them to help him steal a relic from a cult. However, they soon become distrustful.

The Cult and conspiracies, despite being regular cliches in this show, seem to have been inspired in this case by The Ninth Gate.

This is the end of Season 3, and the end of the show. But it is not bad, as endings go.