[Season 1 !Season 2 ]
Stan was sheriff of a small town. His wife has died, so he retires. The new sheriff is a thirty-something blonde.
There is something that Stan neglected to tell his replacement. The town was the site of a massacre of innocent witches during the Puritan era. He only survived the magical vengeance of the witches because his wife was a white witch who protected him. Now that she is dead, the undead spirits will wreak havoc on the town. Luckily they only seem to attack one at a time, in half-hour episodes on a weekly basis.
A massive goat-demon is on the loose.
The show's regular characters go to a speed-dating event. Of course, a demon happens to turn up too.
Stan discovers that his dead wife donated his favourite hockey stick to the Roman Catholic Church. He goes to the priest and insists on getting the stick back, but the new sheriff gets called in to interfere.
We learn a couple of things about the demons. Firstly, they can walk on holy ground, and withstand catholic instruments like crucifixes and holy water. Secondly, their master has fused them with the souls of the dead witches.
Sheriff Evie Barret ( Janet Varney ) stops Stanley Miller (John C. McGinley - The Rock ) for a driving offence. This is policing-for-profit at its best, a stealth tax inflicted on the citizens. She tickets him with an automatic fine of sixty-five dollars. He pays it ... in pennies!
Stan's daughter Denise Miller ( Deborah Baker Jr. ) meets some goth kids. They realise she is obviously a virgin, and invite her to attend a seance ritual. Unfortunately they raise an actual demonic entity.
It turns out that there is more to the show's basic premise. We have always known that the women burned as witches were in fact innocent. It turns out that the only real witch there was the Constable himself!
An enormous spider-demon is on the loose. It wants to lure Stan and the new Sheriff into the hell-dimension, so it can take over from the original Sheriff.
The title is taken from the Twin Peaks TV show prequel movie, Fire Walk With Me . The Spider-walk is a reference to a cut scene from The Exorcist . However, nothing in the storyline actually refers to either
Sheriff Evie Barret ( Janet Varney ) and Stanley Miller (John C. McGinley - The Rock ) are in a car crash. The main storyline takes place in a flashback. This turns out to be a time loop, like in Groundhog Day .
Stan may be the title character, but this week he is just comic relief. His daughter, a completely blatant comedy character, starts up her own teeth-cleaning business. She wants to call it White Power.
The story starts eleven days after the end of the previous Season. Stan (John C. McGinley - The Rock ) has dreams about what happened to Evie the lady sheriff. Unfortunately, neither he nor anyone else remembers who she was.
Stan discovers that there is a local coven of witches who call themselves the Black Hat Society. They may have the ability to help him save Evie.
Stan (John C. McGinley - The Rock ) goes back in time to rescue Evie.
Unfortunately, it turns out that Evie and the Constable's daughter cannot both exist in the same time zone for any length of time. The longer the witch girl stays, the more Evie starts to fade out of reality.
Evie is lacking a love interest. Then she meets Simon from The Walking Dead . Unfortunately he is secretly a were-pony.
1816, and a carnie (Jeffrey Combs - Star Trek: DS9 ) runs a shell game on the constable - with lethal effect.
Two hundred years later, Stan (John C. McGinley - The Rock ) is chased out of his house so the women can have a Girls' Night watching a dating game-show. He goes to the pub, where he meets the Carnie.
Back at the house, Evie becomes possessed and tries to kill Denise. How strange that Stan is immune to the carnie's powers, yet Evie is super-vulnerable to them.
1850, and the Constable gets his throat cut. And then thrown off a rooftop, which seems overkill. The killer is wearing widow's garb.
In the modern day, Evie is unhappy about having lots of potential lovers. Men attempt to seduce her at the rate of almost one a week. She assumed that the uniform would put them off, but it actually makes her MORE attractive. This is probably a form of Cheerleader Effect.
Evie takes Stan's advice, and wears a fake wedding ring to put men off. Unfortunately she starts having visions from the perspective of a murderer - like in The Eyes of Laura Mars .
Stan's daughter, a completely blatant comedy character, is obsessed with a pair of mating crows that have nested in Stan's car.
Deputy Leon, the other completely blatant comedy character, actually manages to get himself a girlfriend this week. Will it all end in tears?