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Smallville [Season 1, Episode 1]
Shown 31st December 2001 [Monday - New Year's Eve]
The show starts in Smallville USA, 1989. Mr Luthor Snr [John Glover - Brimstone ], evil Billionaire extraordinaire, wants to take over the town. His machinations are delayed by a meteor storm that orphans Lana Lang and makes Luthor's son Lex go bald. This is, of course, the debris of Planet Krypton ...
We go forward about twelve years to the present day. There is no superman, because Clark Kent doesn't know about his powers and only learns about them through the course of the show. Clark doesn't pretend to be a nerd. He doesn't have to - Lana Lang has a necklace made from the meteor that killed her parents, and every time Clark goes within 5 feet of her ...
The first episode is pretty much character-based. Clark wants to join the football team and impress Lana Lang. His father, John Schneider [Dukes of Hazard] convinces him otherwise. The other recognisable face in the regular cast is Clark's mother - played by Annette O'Toole , who played Lana Lang in Superman IV !
A lot of the episode is spent setting up characters for development over the Season. Lana Lang already has a boyfriend, a meatheaded sports jock. Lex Luthor, well, isn't evil - in fact he wants to be Clark's friend. A female friend of Clark's, the editor of the school newspaper, shows off her Wall of Weird. Yes, all the Kryptonite in the area has upped the background radiation and made Smallville the equivalent of a Hellmouth.
Lana Lang has a nerdy admirer - well, actually she has two! The new one is a guy who collects insects as a hobby. Unfortunately the insects are radioactive [thanks to the local kryptonite], and when the swarm bites him he gets insect powers ...
Speaking of powers, Clark discovers that he can levitate.
Clark, against the wishes of his father, joins the Football team. However, the Coach is behind the team's cheating in an exam. Didn't they do this in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer [Season 3] ?
Jason Connery [Robin of Sherwood] guest-stars as Lionel's minion.
Yet another Smallville teenager has Kryptonite powers and an obsession with Lana Lang. This time it's a girl. And an unbelievably attractive one, when you consider the plot. Even more patronising is the fact that she morphs into a male character for the climactic fight!
Clark bumps into a bank robber who looks just like Lex Luthor. Our hero also has involuntary flashes of X-ray vision.
Lex himself apparently has a criminal past. He assures Clark I'm not a criminal mastermind, then gets blackmailed by a tabloid reporter. However, he has plans of his own.
Clark and Chloe [the reporter babe] go to a beach party at the local lake. A Football jock named Sean tries to chat up Chloe, but unfortunately he falls into the lake. It's frozen over and probably kryptonite-filled, so he ends up freezing cold with the ability [and need] to suck the heat out of other people.
Clark and the token African-American help out part-time at the Smallville Old Folks Home. They meet a woman named Cassandra, and strangely enough she can tell the future. She tells Clark that someone close to him will die. She was given the power by the Kryptonite shower, and it's a wonder that only the High School reporter babe has noticed all the weird goings on.
Lana Lang, the reason that Clark decided to help out, is looking after an old man named Harry. When she isn't looking he accidentally takes a dip in Kryptonite Lake and gets mutated ... into de-aging back to his 20-year-old self.
Harry was once a budding concert pianist, but when his teacher took away his career he killed the teacher's son. Now Harry has a second chance - but does he use it to become the concert pianist he always wanted to be? No, he throws it away by killing off the children of the 1940s jury who convicted him!
Lex Luthor gets Cassandra to see his future. Remember when Londo Molari asked the same of Galen the technomage in Babylon 5 ?
Pete the token black guy gets to date the local beauty queen. However, she has an eating disorder - Kryptonite-induced, of course.
Lex Luthor meets up with a meteor scientist, the only one apart from the reporter babe to realise that Kryptonite radiation is affecting people!
Metropolis, and Earl [Tony Todd - Candyman ] has a bad case of the shakes. He blames LuthorCorp, because he worked at their Smallville plant ...
Maw and Paw Kent have a romantic weekend in Metropolis, so Clark throws a party. Lana seems to be splitting up with her BF. Earl is discovered at the farm - he used to work for Paw Kent, so the main characters all know each other!
Earl goes to hospital and gets arrested. Clark, Lana and their entire school class get a guided tour of Lex's fertilizer plant. Earl takes them all hostage. Nice co-incidence, eh?
Luthor Snr [John Glover - Brimstone ] and Clark's parents get called in to negotiate. Earl demands to be taken to the top secret research area Level Three, but everyone protests that there is no such place!
Lex gains yet more reasons to suspect Kryptonite poisoning - and yet another reason to suspect Clark is hiding something ...
Clark and his friends attend a soiree at Lex Luthor's Metropolis Museum. The main artefact is an ancient warrior's breastplate with a big "S" emblazoned on it. Clark saves a tramp from a runaway bus, but is seen by a corrupt Police detective.
The corrupt cop tracks Clark down to Smallville, and blackmails the lad into helping him out. Clark tries to outsmart him, but the cop can talk his way out of anything. Worse, as a cop he can frame Clark's parents. In other words, he is the best villain so far - convincingly threatening, and without reliance on SPFX. Especially compared to the previous monster-as-metaphor types.
Lex Luthor knows that the detective has blackmail material on Clark. Lex has had run-ins with the detective, who covered up Luthor's misdeeds. Another figure from Lex's past is his girlfriend [ Kelly Brook ], who now turns up and joining him in plotting. Finally, Lex gets yet another clue as to Clark's secret.
The B-Plot concerns Chloe the reporter babe. She is suspended from the school newspaper for printing irrelevant stories about kryptonite mutants. Lana Lang takes over as editor, and the blonde babe gets jealous.
The episode starts with some gratuitous beefcake. Clark and his buddies are in the school showers, while in the locker room a bullying sports jock is beaten up by some usually immobile objects.
The obvious suspects, the bully's victims dorky Amy and her dorky brother, are the children of Lex Luthor's housekeeper. Amy is jealous of Lex's girlfriend [ Kelly Brook ], and in a fit of kleptomania she steals Lex's watch. Lex's father [John Glover - Brimstone ] is also unhappy to see Ms Brook on the family premises.
This is a wonderful episode, contrasting Lex's stormy relationship with his father to his apparent adoration of his long-dead mother. The watch was her last gift to him - the face made out of a Napoleon franc, which should tell you who Lex models himself on.
As a subplot, Clark finally gets a chance to move in on Lana Lang. She is organising the school's blood donations, but he has to pretent that he is scared of needles!
The freak-of-the-week is a rich industrialist who wants to build a pesticides plant in Smallville. He manages to get around any objections by using a supernatural ability to brainwash them.
A hermit living in the Smallville woods has history with the developer.
Kelly Brook gets her usual walk-on part, but the episode focuses on Lex's relationship with Clark. It also allows some development on the Clark-Chloe front.
There are lots of references to what Clark and Lex will develop into. Clark discusses what he wants to do as a career - not a farmer, and preferably something that doesn't involve wearing a suit and doing a lot of flying.
The climax is excellent. We get to see Evil Lex for the first time. This is a very natural extension of the character we have seen so far, and shows great promise for things to come.
Clark is struck by lightning while touching a school buddy, Eric Summers (Shawn Ashmore) ... The buddy acquires Clark's superpowers, while Clark becomes a mere mortal! This finally allows Clark to do some of the things he'd always wanted to - like play basketball, and get close to Lana Lang without being affected by her Kryptonite necklace.
The school buddy displays his new powers in public, using both superhuman strength and superspeed at school and on the street. The reporter-babe Chloe even prints an article on him, entitled Superboy. Of course, despite this nobody will ever believe that there are super-powered humans in Smallville!
Lex Luthor concludes a couple of his story arcs. Firstly, the files that Kelly Brook stole from him are now used against him. Secondly, Lex's journalist lackey gives him scientific analysis that Clark Kent survived a head-on collision with Lex's car. However, since Clark is now conveniently mortal ...
Clark and Chloe visit Lex Luthor's mansion to interview him. However, they are interrupted by a gang of burglars. Chloe is hospitalised, and the burglars get away with Lex's secret stash. They try to blackmail the bald billionaire, which gives an opportunity for him to show his vicious streak. Unfortunately he just seems out of his depth.
The burglars use Kryptonite tattoos to enable them to pass through solid objects. It also means that Clark cannot fight them. The Kryptonite is slowly destroying them - obviously a blatant metaphor for steroid abuse by athletes. Lana Lang's sports jock BF has hit a rough patch, and is easy prey to be recruited by the burglars!
It's a wonder that Clark Kent never feels any teen angst. He is never tempted to abuse his powers, and he never perpetrates teenage rebellion. He can hardly get a tattoo or a body-piercing, but he seems to lack the humanity necessary for a teen drama like this.
The episode starts with Lex Luthor strung up by his heels, interrogated about the event which got him exiled to Smallville. Three years previously there was an incident in a nightclub in Metropolis. Someone was killed, apparently by a bouncer, and Lex had it covered up.
The dead man is apparently back from the dead. Since resurrection is not a Kryptonite-related syndrome this is not another freak-of-the-week story. Lex is being stalked, which interferes with his plans to finance Lana Lang's reconstruction of the town theatre.
The stalker wants to know what really happened that night. We see three different versions of Lex's story, and we have no idea which one is true. There is a brief appearance by the corrupt detective from the episode Rogue, who is instrumental in the cover-up. There are also dozens of people in the club who witnessed the incident, and why the stalker doesn't ask one of them what happened is never explained.
The B-plot involves Chloe the school reporter. Her class assignment is to do a write-up on Clark Kent's life. Thorough as usual, she starts with his adoption. Since Clark doesn't have a birth certificate or American citizenship, we know that his parents indulged in some fraudulent activity. This is a nice parallel with Lex Luthor's unwillingness to divulge the truth abouth his own past.
Clark's father is driving down the road, listening to the Dukes of Hazard theme tune, when he has to save a man from a car crash. We the viewers learn that the crash victim was an employee of Lex Luthor, and had stolen a toxic flower from Joe Mortimer the meteor scientist. Mr Kent inhales the plant's pollen, and soon becomes the thuggish redneck that we all knew he was. Yes, the show is almost realistic!
Lana Lang gets a dose of the pollen too, and her teenage hormones kick in. She makes a play for Clark, stripping off in front of him so she can take a dip in the pool. Unfortunately we don't get to see her face and her underwear in the same shot, so it seems she had a body double.
The climax is similar to the episode where the villain pitted Lex against Clark. We see the dark side of human nature, so this is basically yet another morality play. However, Lex and Clark are mainly in the sidelines - the excellent supporting cast are finally allowed to shine!
The Kents discover a young boy who claims to be an amnesiac, and they decide to look after him as foster-parents. Clark and the lad get on well enough.
However, by strange coincidence the boy has a couple of secrets. Firstly he is on the run from his evil armed robber step-father. Secondly, he has the power to read minds. There is no Kryptonite-related explanation this time. And while the boy displays this incredible talent, nobody even thinks to ask him how he knows their secrets!
The subplot involves Lex Luthor. His father offers to take him back to Metropolis. Will Lex do it, and thus stop being a regular character?
This is one of the worst episodes so far. The freak-of-the-week is a euthenasia freak who has the touch of death. The climactic scene is unbelievably stupid, and pokes major holes in the entire plot.
The best part of the episode is the B-story. Lex Luthor is questioned by his father's sidekick [Jason Connery - Robin of Sherwood ]. The climactic scene between Lex and his father almost makes the episode worthwhile.
Lana Lang appears to have dropped out of school entirely, and is running the coffee-house full-time. Instead of her, the most popular girl at school is the head cheerleader - a blonde who we have never seen before. She is standing for election as class President, against the token chinese boy and a stereotypically nerdy girl who is really gorgeous and wears spectacles.
One of the candidates is the freak-of-the-week, with the power to control bees. Clark finds that he has been proposed as a candidate, and is then on the hit-list ...
While Clark has differences with Chloe, Lex has to deal with a different reporter-babe.
This is quite a disappointing episode, filled with cliches and merely re-hashing previous episodes.
Apparently Chloe the reporter-babe has an e-mail buddy. He provided cartoons for the school newspaper, until he was run-over by a hit-and-run driver and ended up in a full-body cast.
Will Chloe find happiness with her buddy, the mere guest-star? Or is he the freak-of-the-week who goes on a telekinetic rampage? Hmm.
Lana Lang is a bystander at a gas pipe explosion. While recovering in hospital she has a vision of Chloe being kidnapped, from the kidnapper's point-of-view.
The plot is blatantly a rip-off of the film Eyes Of Laura Mars , with the typical damsel-in-distress plot. Oddly, the freak-of-the-week has nothing to do with Kryptonite!
A Tornado leaves most of the cast crippled.
Lionel Luthor is now a Regular cast member.
Clark's new Sex Ed teacher ( Krista Allen ) uses her pheremone powers to seduce Lex.
Clark's sexual arousal now gives him heat-vision! But can he control it?
Pete (the Token Black Kid) finds Clark's spaceship.
Joe Morton ( Terminator 2 ) is after the spaceship too. Lionel gets interested in it ...
Clark buys some Bling - a flashy red ring. Unfortunately nobody realises that the ring's stone is red Kryptonite! Not until Clark becomes a greedy hedonist who wants Lex's lifestyle. Pete is the one who realises the link ...
The new girl in school flirts with Clark. Lana's ambiguous towards him, so he shows an interest. Unfortunately the new girl's dad [ Stargate SG-1 ] is a corporate whistleblower (unrelated to LuthorCorp?) on the run from a corrupt and murderous Federal Agent. Yes, ANOTHER one! This just makes for a superfluous thriller plot shoe-horned into an otherwise great ep.
Clark's rebellion against his parents reflects Lex's oppression by Lionel. Lionel, though blind, begins to suspect Clark's powers.
Lana's got a mysterious admirer, who leaves poetic letters on her parents' grave. Eventually she discovers who it is - his name's Byron, and his parents keep him chained up in their cellar. Is he a new love interest, or just a freak of the week? Strangely, Lana and Clark never suspect he could be a meteor freak!
Lionel, blind and cranky, fires all his assistants. Martha Kent is the only one who can put up with him!
The High School has a new Principal, an African-American gent who used to be Principal of Lex Luthor's school.
Schoolkids start to die of extraordinary aging. The Freak of the Week looks normal, but is actually a centuries-old monster like Tooms ( X-Files ). Which makes this a non-Kryptonite-infected villain!
Clark's Grandfather (Martha's dad) visits, but Jonathan Kent doesn't get on with him. And Lana discovers she might be illegitimate, so her Real father might be alive ...
A strange woman arrives in Smallville. She claims to be Clark's mother.
We get to find out a bit more about Lionel's past ... and it might affect Lex's past as well.
Ryan (the Psi kid from Season One) is experimented on by Agent White from Dark Angel: S2 .
Lex collects Warrior Angel comics. The cover of Issue One is based on the first Superman comic! There's some nice foreshadowing for Lex's future ...
William B. Davis ( X-Files ) is the corrupt Mayor of Smallville.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas (Home Improvements) is a superpowered classmate. No, he wasn't in any previous episode - but he makes up for it by being in this one TWICE!
Lex's temper is getting worse - a sign of his impending fall to the Dark Side?
A Native American shaman protests at a Luthorcorp construction site. Clark and a gorgeous archaeologist investigate. It's on the Luthor lands, but apparently the caves beneath it are sacred. They even have a Kryptonian cave-painting on their walls!
A beastie attacks workers on the site. Is it a shape-shifting human?
Whitney (the Football jock who joined the USMC) is back in town. He's acting strangely.
The Freak of the Week is a super-strong female villain. Can Clark beat up a girl?
There's a lady Doctor ( Emannuelle Vaugier ) in Smallville Hospital, and Lex takes a liking to her.
Lionel bugged Lex, so Lex wants to return the favour. However, the buggers see Lionel's vault. They get greedy, and hold Lionel and Martha hostage.
Whatever Lionel has in his vault, he's planning some evil plot ...
Lionel Luthor gets shot, and Jonathan Kent is the main suspect!
Alien parasites from the caves produce a disinhibitor effect. Chloe and Pete get infested! Pete then slips Clark some red Kryptonite, and fun ensues!
Scientist Rob LaBelle ( First Wave ) investigates the caves for Lex.
Lex's long-lost brother Lucas appears on the scene. They team up against Lionel - but who can trust another Luthor?
Clark and Martha both get Kryptonite poisoning. Luckily, Lex's GF is a Doctor. Unluckily, it turns out that Martha is pregnant.
The CDC search the Kent farm, and find the Key ...
Clark puts the Key in the cave wall, and has spasms of Krypton symbols. He also meets a mysterious scientist, Dr Swan (Christopher Reeve - Superman ).
A schoolkid claims to be an Alien - and Clark believes him!
Lex's GF thinks he doesn't trust her because there's one (and only one) door in his Mansion that she doesn't have a key for.
Lex's GF's ex is in town. Lex, apparently trained by a Navy SEAL, falls to the Dark Side.
Lana is harrassed, and Clark hurts a guy - and gets sued for it. The dumb lady sheriff takes a dislike to the Kent boy ...
Lionel's truck of Kryptonite is stolen.
A High School jock develops super-strength - he's using a Kryptonite-based steroid!
Chloe begins to ally herself with Lionel.
Lana sees the ghost of a young girl she used to know. The girl's dad is the Janitor from Scrubs.
Lex prepares for marriage, while Lionel plots.
Dr Walden (Rob LaBelle) comes out of his coma. He's got superpowers, and a grudge against Clark!
Jor-El (the AI in the pod) wants to control Clark's destiny. Lionel wants to open the cave with a Kryptonite key. Clark must foil both.
Lex prepares for marriage to the Doc-babe. Lionel visits the caves.
Clark is in Red Kryptonite mode. He hangs out in Edge City, run by gangster Morgan Edge (Rutger Hauer - Blade Runner ). But Edge blackmails him into robbing Lionel Luthor.
Lex is marooned on a desert island. He has company, though - a guy of similar age to himself who also has father issues. What are the chances?
Back in Metropolis, everyone has written Lex off as dead. But Lionel knows something suspicious went on.
Clark's family have lost their farm. And they have worse things to worry about. Lionel Luthor was an old friend of Morgan Edge, and wasn't slow to realise who ripped him off. Luthor blackmails Edge into getting Clark to give back what he stole. Can Clark doublecross them both?
Lex is back, and has a reunion with his second wife ( Emannuelle Vaugier ). Just as nobody ever mentions his first wife ( Krista Allen ), after this ep they never mention his second one either. Still, at least he is consistent to concentrates on brunettes.
Alkie journo Perry White [Michael McKean - X-Files ] is in town. Clark saves him. A solar flare boosts Clark's strength. Perry is working for Cable TV company X-Styles [paranormal fiction].
Lex's shrink says he is cracking up under stress [after 2 months marooned on a desert island].
Perry White vs Lionel, a possible story arc ...
Lana discovers sketch of drifter accused of killing her great-aunt in 1961. He looks just like Clark!
Clark investigates - wet get a FlashBack to Jor El in Smallville. It is an entirely new cast, only Kal-el as Jor-el. It is odd to see teenage clark and Lana as adults and acting like grown-ups!
Cancer Man [ X-Files ] is the town Mayor. We discover about Lionel's dad [a crook, killed in Fire]. There is a cliched climax, but ...
A schoolmate is in an MRI, gets power over magnetism, and can control Lana! Clark is jealous.
Lex presses changes against Chloe, and gets her a criminal record!
Chloe and Lex investigate Lionel's past - specifically his relationships with his parents and Morgan Edge.
Morgan Edge (surgically altered to look like Patrick Bergin!) gives Lex evidence against Lionel (his boyhood pal).
Are killers after Lex? Is he crazy? Drugged?
There is a cliffhanger ending.
Lex is drugged and imprisoned in Belle Reeve asylum. Lionel and Clark are both worried that their secrets will be exposed.
Also in the Asylum are 3 meteor freaks (well, the twins and the mad sniper). Clark put them there, and now they plan to escape. Shawn Ashmore also appears again as Eric Summers ... ironic, since his twin brother Aaron later appears as Jimmy Olsen!
Lana has a new friend in hospital - Adam Knight (Ian Somerhalder - Lost, Vampire Diaries ).
Shades of Midwich Cuckoos (AKA Village of the Damned ) ...
Clark is blinded. Luckily the freak of the week is a Screamer.
45,000 people live in the Smallville area. Also, we discover that Pete's mom is a Judge.
Lionel takes the Torch's computers - and Chloe's job. She uses a pseudonym - her cousin's name, Lois Lane. Brainwave.org (run by a beautiful tech girl named Molly - Missy Perrigrym ) is after Chloe. There is mention of Sommerholt - a previous villain story arc to do with the Dark Angel S2 Villain.
Adam Knight (Ian Somerhalder - Lost, Vampire Diaries ) reveals some of his mysterious abilities (Martial arts, science, computers). Lana knows there is a dark mystery in his past, but still rents the loft apartment to him.
Chloe and Lana have a catfight - about time! Impressive as it is, this just draws attention to the fact that in this show, even the non-superhumans never get so much as a bruise!
The tech looks dated - people use CDs, not memory sticks. Strangely, Lana has a high-end PDA so she can read e-mails at school. That coffee shop of hers must be pulling in some major profits!
The LexCorp tech guy is Chris Gautier ( Eureka ) - the guy who later becomes The Toymaker! Ironically, this appears to be an entirely different character.
Adam Knight (Ian Somerhalder - Lost, Vampire Diaries ) has a sleepover at Lana's. He has a nightmare, so she thinks he is a junkie.
There is a new boy at school. He has a psi-flash of someone's death, but Superboy prevents it.
This ep has 2 directors, but didn't suffer too badly for it.
Lana discovers Adam's secret.
Chloe and Lex investigate platelets of unknown origin. They are being experimented on by Dr Tang ( Francoise Yip ), a University professor.
Pete is an illegal street-racer. They use Kryptonite fuel! The end song is Wonderwall - a karaoke version, that is, sung by someone who has evidently never heard the proper version.
The Adam arc limps to an apparent end.
Chloe and Lex investigate an organ transplant ring. Bruce Harwood ( Lone Gunmen ) is the medevac pilot. The ring may have links to Dr Tang's illegal research.
Clark has to worry about yet another psycho schoolmate. This one just wants to help his brother (Helo from BSG 2003, Dollhouse ). Unfortunately this involves holding the hospital hostage and stealing the liver of the nearest Patient - Clark's dad (in for a heart bypass op).
Lana is menaced, and Clark gets a phonecall from the future. Adam Knight (Ian Somerhalder - Lost, Vampire Diaries ) is on the loose.
The subplot continues the Lex and Lionel arc.
This ends on a great cliff-hanger.
Mr Kent acts strangely. Clark suspects Jor-El is responsible, through the key. No sign of Chloe or Pete this ep.
Lionel guesses part of what is going on. He traces its back to Dr Swan (Christopher Reeve).
Lex faces off with the FBI.
Chloe breaks into LuthorCorp's secret lab. This results in a botched cliff-hanger, but bad pacing is part and parcel of this show.
Chloe develops a superpower - she asks questions, and whoever she breathes on must answer them. She tries this on Pete, Lex and Lionel …
Messing with Lionel is a bad idea, though it is vital to the Season's plot arc. He wants Chloe to ask a question: Where is Clark Kent from? And as Lionel became a more well-rounded, ambiguous character, wouldn't it have been nice for Chloe to become more mature and ambiguous too? She borders on cartoonish villain at moments in this episode, due to the Meteor Freak aspect of the plot-line. But she could have been a good Season villain herself, especially if she teamed up with Lionel.
Lex has a nightmare, and is saved by Lana, not the Bodyguards! Lex goes to the Sommerholt institute, run by the Dark Angel S2 villain, and has memory therapy (to remember about his baby brother).
There is no sign of Chloe or Pete this ep. Clark's dad is in hospital for tests, so he is not in this ep either.
Clark can't risk Lex getting his memory back Lionel misses Martha. But that doesn't stop him from telling Sommerholt to ask the same question he wanted Chloe to ask: Where is Clark Kent from?
Clark gets to remember his very first memories of Krypton. Terence Stamp ( Superman II ) is the voice of Jor-el. And Clark discvovers his birth-mother was called Lara.
Lana plans to go to Paris, France. Just like in the final eps of Sex in the City … and Friends. The end music is Evanescence.
A Native American student steals a mystical dagger from the caves. He gets Superman's powers.
Dr Fraser (Teryl Rothery - Stargate SG-1 ) is an estate agent. Chloe and Pete get a scene together.
Lex somehow knows where to be - but turns up alone, without bodyguards or cops. Lex gives a monologue at the end which makes you question - does he really know more than he lets on? This opens a few questions - is Lex or Lionel the Nemesis? Is Superman the villain? Is Lana leaving town? more next week!
This was Directed by John Schneider.
Emily [now a teenager] escapes from Luthorcorp labs. She was Lana's stalker. Well, one of them. And she's back in business! She traps people in the Glass cell from Birds of Prey .
Lionel's corrupt FBI man is after Pete. He wants to know Clark's secret.
We get the climax of the story Arcs involving Pete, Lana ... and the Lex/Lionel arc. As a result, characters leave the show. The Extended tag takes up the whole fourth act. That said, this show always had problems with pacing.
A nude superwoman (who looks like Glory from Buffy: Season 5 ) visits the Kent farm. This is better than the Terminator 3 scene, at least. She claims to be Clark's cousin Kara from Krypton, sent to preserve the Kryptonian race.
Lionel is in a high-tech jail. And Lana is having a bad hair day.
3 months after Chloe's death [she's still in the credits], her cousin Lois Lane [ Erica Durance comes to town. En Route she discovers Clark [who's an amnesiac], and gives him a red blanket for a cloak. Then she takes him to hospital, where they meet Martha and coma-dad.
Lex is in Arabia, hunting artefacts. He's not untouched by last season's climax - a Female doc named Vaughn cleanses his blood every 72 hrs.
Lana is in Paris, with her new BF Jason [ Dark Angel Jensen Ackles, Season regular]. Lana has her own destiny!
Jor-El brainwashed Clark, sent him on mission, gave him new powers!
Margot Kidder is Doc Swan [C Reeve, RIP]'s assistant. She comes to help.
Clark and Lois hunt for Chloe. The General (Michael Ironside - Total Recall ) helps, but a T-1000 Teenager tries to stop them. Lois is very unlikeable - stuck-up, bossy, rude.
Lana returns. She's got a mysterious tattoo that matches the Kryptonian cave-paintings. Will Jensen Ackles be back?
Lex and Lionel plot against each other.
Clark tries out for the Football team. The new coach is Lana's BF - his father is a lawyer, and Lex knows him. Lana's back at High School after taking a year out. Lois resits her final year, and workls for Chloe on The Torch.
Abby the mascott (AKA Scabby Abby) has dermal surgery - usng Kryptonite. The moral of the story is, What's inside is important, not outside.
Next week, more Football team stories.
Cheerleaders spike the water cooler with a kryptonite love potion. Clark becomes Quarterback, but gets beaten up. Chloe stalks him, and dresses as a cheerleader. This is a sexed up episode - Jon Glover (AKA Lionel Luthor) complained about the way the show is headed, and he isn't in this episode! It also has typical bad pacing - the teaser has no cliffhanger, and the tag is too long!
Lex proves to Clark he ended the investigation.
The episode is dedicated In loving memory of Christopher Reeve. He made us believe a man could fly.
A teenage boy thief helps Clark loosen up. The boy's name is Bart, he wears a red t-shirt, he has blond spiky hair and says Smell ya later! ...
Lex gets a document with Krypton symbols - a map! A nice plot advancement in a well-paced episode.
Lionel and Clark swop bodies. Jon Glover's very good (as always). Lionel (played by Tom Welling) is just Brute Force. It's a very exciting ep, decent pacing for a change.
Margot Kidder guest-stars, and the Plot Arc gets a mention. Lana is the direct female descendent of a Countess burned as a witch, buried as a martyr. Is the secret out?
There's a new foreign exchange student at school - Mikhal Mxlplyx. He's got a scholarship from Lionel Luthor. He runs a gambling book on the school football games - he can influence the outcome somehow! Finally the freak of the week is from out of town! Is Smallville just a weirdness magnet?
Chloe helps Clark find the truth. Meanwhile, Lex plots.
1604, Lana's ancestor and 2 pals are burned at the stake.
2004, Lana buys a spell book on Ebay, and is possessed by her ancestor - who is eeevil! The witch is on a quest to retrieve 3 magic stones - she brings her pals back to possess Lois and Chloe (on Chloe's birthday). The potion needs the hair of 2 virgins - Clark's one, Lois isn't. So who's the second one? Lana?
They have a wild party at Clark's barn when his parents are away - a Princeton scout visits for Clark (like in Risky Business).
It's a nice story arc - Lana's ancestor, the artefacts and cave, Lex's map, soul transfer ... The witches can remove Clark's powers. Magic's real!
Was Lex framed by Lionel (who claims a change of heart), or by a bunny-boiler? It's a wee bit predictable.
Chloe helps Clark investigate. Lex is a moron! However, he's unfairly treated like a villain for having a few one-night stands. How soon they forget that he was married, but his gold-digging wife left him for dead on the honeymoon! Who can blame him for sleeping with Cobie Smulders ?
Lana dreams of Isabelle and Jane Seymour . In 2004 she's Jason's mother?
Jason ends up in a coma. Is it a LuthorCorp experiment gone wrong?
Chloe and Lana get their worst fears, but the SPFX are really brought out for Clark! Lex's is even better.
Lionel gets some strange news.
Clark, now quarterback, is targeted by slutty cheerleaders. Alicia ( Sarah Carter ) the bunny-boiling teleporter isn't being dissected so the CIA can have teleportation. No, she's cured! Her Doc lets her out (she has her own Agenda - and somehow some red Kryptonite). Is her Doc more convincing than her?
This is a Relationship ep, very preachy - and as per usual, it drags on for 10 minutes after the climax (far too long!). There's lots of BS about Red Krypronite drugging - is responsibility removed by disinhibitors? Lana and Chloe discuss their (non) intacta status (re: Jason and Jimmy Olsen). There's moralising - sex before marriage is to be regretted, but marriage is sacred (a lifelong commitment between 2 people).
Lionel's out and broke, so he visits Lex (working out with a blonde fencer babe).
Alicia is Clark's GF, an outcast for her attack on Lana last Season. Lana is attacked in a locked room, but Jason saves her - TJ Hooker style, as Chloe puts it (is she old enough to get the reference?) ...
Lois is in town again.
Jason's mother visits Lex (Story arc!). Lionel is referred to, but not seen.
There's a creepy new reporter kid working in Chloe's newspaper. At least in Buffy they had regular classmates like Jonathan and Harmony, not just freaks of the week.
Clark visits Met U for a Football scholarship. It's only one hour's drive from Smallville. Lois is arrested for paralysing a Football player (!), Is there a plot regarding the team? The top player is from Smallville, but nobody suspects he could be the freak of the week. Corruption is a free SUV for players ... they already get a scholarship to cover tuition and other costs, worth about 80 thousand USD a year ...
Lex is suspicious of Jason's mother, and Jason (Story Arc). Who's telling the truth, and who's lying? There's a Lois/Clark arc also. Chloe gives Clark lots of barbed remarks.
Perps use a pair of super-strong dogs to do robberies. Lois hits one in her car, and takes it to the Kent farm. Chloe covers for Clark and the dog.
Genevieve [ Jane Seymour ] is in town. She meets Lex and Jason (seperately) - the plot thickens, we get exposition.
Lionel meets Jason. Is he really reformed? Lex says he believes it.
Dr Swann's obituary is published. He sent a letter to Clark - and the cave key. Jor-El's message is for Clark to find 3 special stones.
Lex and Jason go to China for a stone. Lana and Clark follow, with Lionel's help. Isabelle and Gertrude fought over the treasure map to the stone in China.
Someone richer than Lex hires PRC cops to torture him. Isabelle's back!
A girl skier [she's in pink] is chased by a pair of villains [they're in black]. She evades them using tricks from The Spy Who Loved Me . Turns out she's Lois Lane's sister Lucy, and the villain is Peter Wingrove [ Highlander, SG-1 ].
Lucy arrives in Smallville and crashes with the Kents. She even befriends Lex. However, the villain is after her. She owes money.
Someone burglarises Lana's apartment. The magic rock is gone. Jason suspects Lionel Luthor, who protests his innocence.
Lex's lab is experimenting with Kryptonite. Lex is caught in an accidental explosion, and zapped with an energy beam. Like a certain Trek ep, he's split into 2 personas - good and evil! This also leads on to comparisons with The Man in the Iron Mask .
Good Lex is nice to Clark, and shows that he wants to benefit mankind with GM crops that will end world hunger.
Evil Lex is nasty to everyone, especially Lionel. Which provides an unbelievable climax to the Lionel Arc. He ignores Chloe [in her cleavage-revealing shirt], and tries to seduce Lana.
Prom Night, and Chloe decides to re-enact Carrie by blowing up the entire school. The story starts 24 hours earlier, and it turns out that Chloe's anti-Prom article was taken as her nomination as Prom Queen!
Chloe's main rival is the local Cordelia type, who hasn't played a big part in any prior ep. Cordy-type wants Clark Kent as her Prom Date, but has a car crash and becomes a body-jumping spirit. We get to see Mrs Kent act young, and Lana act evil - nicely done!
Kandsye McClure , token black girl in many other shows, is still TBG at Smallville High.
Lois is back in town, and it turns out she is allergic to dogs.
The meteor scientist's assistant ( Margot Kidder ) has been murdered! Jason Teague investigates, with Lex as the main suspect.
A thief with memory-blanking abilities gives Clark amnesia. Chloe helps him - luckily she knows the truth about him, more or less. Like in the previous ep. How come she never worked it out in the last 3 seasons, and had to be shown by Alicia?
Clark wants a second chance with Lana, who realises that Jason has become untrustworthy (like Adam Knight in the previous Season).
The Kents are conveniently out of town. The only option seems to be the memory-man's labs!
Clark and Lana are driving along. They find a crater with a baby in it (like the Kents finding Clark). They become the boy's foster-parents. He grows in spurts, releasing energy blasts. LexCorp scientists help find out what's going on ...
There's no villain, it's an emotional ep and not an action-packed one. The only Arc-intensive stuff is the subplot (Lionel and Genevieve Teague). This is another anti-pre-marital sex ep. It's disturbing propaganda - the cast are all really aged about 30!
In a confusing piece of geography, we can see Metropolis (equivalent to NYC, Philadelphia or Chicago) from the top of a Kansas windmill!
Chloe is in High School - or is she? The Freak of the week turns people into wax (a nice reference to the new slasher flick House of Wax !).
Lex and Lionel team up against Genevieve and Jason Teague, for the missing piece. Jason's a pro athlete - he should be more impressive ...
Lana faces off against Genevieve Teague ( Jane Seymour ).
16 years after baby Clark arrived, the second Kryptonite meteor storm arrives. The Government has to evacuate a 50 mile radius ... Nobody remembers that Metropolis is visible from the tower, and is thus easily within 50 miles!
Lois wants to help her dad find her sister. She doesn't want to be a reporter ... yet.
Lex helps Lana - but is she just after the stone?
Clark's parents are held hostage.
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