ORBzine TV Review - "Smallville" January 2002

Season 5

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 1] Arrival
Shown 9th January 2006 [Monday]

The Season has new credits, including all the best SPFX shots of the last 4 Seasons. Erica Durance is now in the credits.

Clark has ended the Season 4 arc by creating the Fortress of Solitude. However, he has until sunset at the North Pole to right all the wrongs and return before he loses his powers.

A spaceship lands, and a pair of overly attractive people (a caucasian female and an African-American male) emerge. Instead of being low-key they use their superpowers against the cops and National Guard. Lana tries to outsmart them, with info gained from Lionel. But Lionel disappears for no apparent reason, and Lana hasn't got what it takes.

Last but not least, James Marsters ( Buffy the Vampire Slayer ) gets a tiny cameo at the end.

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 2] Mortal
Shown 16th January 2006 [Monday]

Apparently it is weeks later. Lex visits Lionel, who has somehow been sectioned in the Asylum. On his way out he bumps into a redneck with electro-powers and a pair of baldy twins. They're only guarded by 2 orderlies, so they promptly escape.

Clark and Lana are getting on well again. No fear of Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex. The two uber-virgins can finally get together!

The Asylum inmates turn up at the Kent farm. Pa Kent puts up a good fight, despite his heart surgery. The thugs force Clark to break into Lex's secret lab on Level Three. He does not trust Lex, so he gets Chloe to help him do a Mission: Impossible style burglary. She even has cleavage, AKA Chloevage!

Erica Durance is in the credits, though she does not appear in this episode.

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 3] Hidden
Shown 23rd January 2006

Chloe gets a call from a school-buddy. He has broken into a nuclear missile silo (there are fifteen in that county alone!) and set a timer to blow up Smallville. As in 24, our heroes have one hour ...

Clark and Lana have spent the night together. This leads to preachy moralising.

Clark will be unable to save the world without his superpowers. Luckily, Lionel Luthor is possessed by the spirit of Jor-El.

Zod's spaceship is in Lex's lab, and top men are working on it. Also, Lana starts to bond with Lex again ...

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 4] Aqua
Shown 30th January 2006

Teenagers flock to Crater lake. Lois takes a dip in a magnificent red bikini. Obviously the Producers have made a conscious decision to show more skin. While the character is about 19, the actress is 27 and has already gone topless in a movie!

A new superhero appears on the scene. He calls himself AC, and looks like a younger bodybuilding version of Matthew Lillard ( Scooby Doo ). This is the younger version of DC comics hero Aquaman, much like The Flash guest-starred last Season.

The fish in crater lake are mysteriously dying. And AC is vulnerable to the sonic superweapon responsible.

Clark's Professor at Met Uni, James Marsters (with his own hair colour and accent, unlike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer ), tries to convince everyone that Lex is a villain.

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 5] Thirst
Shown 6th February 2006

Chloe gets an interview with Daily Planet editor Carrie Fisher . She gets the chance to write one article for the paper, a make-or-break deal. So naturally she picks an OTT piece about Vampire Cheerleaders!

Lana joins a sorority at Met Uni. Unfortunately the place she picks is run by Buffy Sanders, a blonde vamp. Literally! Lana gets superpowers, and becomes sexy.

Clark and Chloe go to the fancy-dress party. Clark complains about his Zorro outfit - he does not mind the cape, but the mask makes it awkward!

Professor Milton Fine (James Marsters - Buffy the Vampire Slayer ) tries to convince Clark that Lex is the villain. But Lex is helpful, while Marsters is very powerful ...

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 6] Exposed
Shown 13th February 2006

Lois and Chloe are working at the Daily Planet. A woman phones wanting to report a story, but she is then murdered. The girls go undercover in a club - Lois does an amateurish striptease.

By extreme coincidence, the main suspect is the Smallville Senator. He is the childhood buddy of Mr Kent. They go joyriding together, while Clark investigates. Mrs Kent is nowhere in sight - and neither is Lionel Luthor. And Lana.

Lois, dressed in her stars-and-bars bikini, has an encounter with a French fellow.

Should the Senator quit the election because he had an affair? After all, the Kents are lying all the time.

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 7] Splinter
Shown 20th February 2006

Clark is accidentally stabbed with a sliver of new Kryptonite. This type drives him paranoid, making him halucinate that everyone is plotting against him.

Lana goes to Lex for help, indicating the closeness between them.

The day is saved by an unlikely person. But this makes more sense when you watch the next ep.

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 8] Solitude
Shown 27th February 2006

There is a strange light in the sky, and Martha Kent falls mysteriously ill.

Professor Milton Fine (James Marsters - Buffy the Vampire Slayer ) offers to help.

Apparently Zor-El was a dictator. Clark must destroy the Fortress of Solitude, and release General Zod ...

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 9] Lexmas
Shown 6th March 2006

Lex secretly meets an investigator, who offers to dig up dirt on Mr Kent. Lex has to decide, will he contest the Senatorial seat?

Lex is shot by muggers, and ends up in the ICU. He halucinates that his mother is showing him a possible future, where he has quit politics, left Luthorcorp and married Lana Lang. Will Lex choose politics or happiness? Wil Kent get the Senatorial Seat and give Lex a Humanitarian award as consolation prize?

This is a wonderful spin on It's a Wonderful Life . And the ending's quite impressive.

Meanwhile, Chloe and Clark distribute presents to kiddies, with the help of a mysterious Santa Claus (Kenneth Walsh - Twin Peaks ).

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 10] Fanatic
Shown 13th March 2006

The Election is on, and someone is playing dirty. Mr Kent is being stalked by someone. Also, Lionel buys off Lex's investigator.

Lex has a white-collar groupie run his campaign on Met U Campus. Mr Kent hires Lois to be campaign manager!

Lana is sexually frustrated - poor Clark is too worried that he might hurt her. She has developed an obsession with astronomy ...

It turns out Lex's stalker last year is not the only one. Baldy big-bucks is a babe-magnet!

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 11] Lockdown
Shown 20th March 2006

Lex's mansion is taken over by intruders who want the alien ship. He claims ignorance - while he secretly believes his father stole it. Luckily, after the nuke silo incident he had a Panic Room built.

Lana and Clark have a falling out. He discovers that she has been secretly working on the spaceship with Lex. Of course, this makes her a target for the intruders.

Pa Kent would rather work on his farm than prepare for the election. Hardly the best candidate for Senator. Especially when he discovers that Lionel is secret backer to the campaign. Martha told Lois, for some reason.

This is the most arc-intensive ep so far. But the big climax is still half a season away ...

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 12] Reckoning
Shown 27th March 2006

Clark shows Lana his secret. He even flies!

The election results are revealed. Lex and Paw Kent find out who is more popular ...

Someone close to Clark is doomed to die ...

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 13] Vengeance
Shown 3rd April 2006

Martha is mugged. Luckily she is saved by a sexy super-powered vigilante babe.

Lionel Luthor is back. He has got a silver-plated pearl-handled revolver that he claims belonged to MacArthur - strange, since such guns were associated with Patton!

Chloe helps Clark find the vigilant.

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 14] Tomb
Shown 10th April 2006

Chloe is staying at the Talon with Lois. She becomes haunted by the ghost of a teenage girl. Lana and Lex try to have Chloe committed, so Clark steals her from hospital.

Things take a turn for the worse when they discover a body in the wall. It has a Kryptonite bracelet, which lets the ghost possess Chloe!

The murderer selects Lois as his next victim.

Martha is considering becoming Senator ...

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 15] Cyborg
Shown 17th April 2006

An African-American youth escapes from a hospital where he is being experimented on. Turns out, he has strength and speed comparable to Clark's.

By strange coincidence he encounters Lana. Thus Clark tries to help him.

The experimentation company is linked back to Lex. Is this another villainous superweapon plot?.

Lionel helps Martha deal with a blackmailer. And we discover how much Lionel knows!

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 16] Hypnotic
Shown 24th April 2006

Clark tries to get back with Lana. However, he is seduced by a skanky blonde with a mysterious necklace - blue kryptonite?

The hypnotic skank is working for Lex, who wants to make sure Lana is free of Clark. However, she is sick of being controlled by Lex.

Lex is in South America. Professor Milton Fine (James Marsters - Buffy the Vampire Slayer ) has made a reappearance, and Lex believes the man is a US Government Agent, out to snare him. They discuss the idea of alien spacecraft landing among the ancient Incas ...

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 17] Void
Shown 6 Apr 06
Reviewed 1st May 2006

Lana pays a medical student to copy the movie Flatliners , injecting her with Kryptonite so she can see her dead parents. Naturally, she becomes a strung-out junkie.

Meanwhile, Chloe and Clark are worried by their discovery that Professor Milton Fine (James Marsters - Buffy the Vampire Slayer ) is still in business.

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 18] Fragile
Shown 13 Apr 06
Reviewed 8th May 2006

A wee girl named Maddie is pushed around from foster home to foster home. Every time she gets angry, people are mysteriously killed by flying glass!

Callum Keith Rennie ( BSG 2003 ) plays the wee girl's dad.

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 19] Mercy
Shown 20 Apr 06
Reviewed 15th May 2006

Lionel Luthor has a lot of enemies. One of them has probably seen Saw , because he kidnaps Lionel and locks him in a boobytrapped basement.

Mrs Senator Kent is locked in there as well, which allows them face-to-face time.

Clark and Lex must team up to save their parents.

Ian Tracey ( X-Files ) is Lionel's counter-surveillance expert.

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 20] Fade
Shown 27 Apr 06
Reviewed 22nd May 2006

Clark saves a man's life, and the man tries to repay the favour. Unfortunately the guy is a hitman who can turn invisible.

The hitman visits the Kent Farm, where he encounters Lois exercising in her skimpies. Why she is not doing this in her own home, the Talon, is not explained. She threatens him with her three blackbelts, but dates him anyway. After all, he is a bad-boy with tons of cash.

Clark's jealousy over Lana and Lex inspires the hitman to try to kill Lex.

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 21] Oracle
Shown 4 May 06
Reviewed 29th May 2006

Mr Kent comes back from the dead, and tells Clark to kill Lionel.

Mrs Kent discovers the cause of her husband's fatal heart-attack.

Lex and Professor Milton Fine (James Marsters - Buffy the Vampire Slayer ) are collecting viruses and making a super-vaccine. Fine's plan involves inocculating Lex - which flies in the face of the idea that Lex had a super-power for healing!

Smallville [Season 5, Episode 22] Vessel
Shown 11 May 06
Reviewed 5th June 2006

Lex and Lana are settling down together. But Professor Milton Fine (James Marsters - Buffy the Vampire Slayer ) abducts Lex. He is preparing him ... to be the vessel of Zod's consciousness.

Jor-El and Lionel both advise Clark that he might have to kill Lex. But he resists ...

Lois and Mrs Senator Kent borrow Lionel's private Jet. But Fine knows they'll be good hostages. He also uses a computer virus to cause a power blackout in Metropolis, which causes a riot.

. The ending is quite a cliffhanger.

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Season 6

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 1] Zod
Shown 28 Sep 06

There is chaos in the streets, as a global computer virus has made everyone riot! Lionel wants to find a way to kill Zod. Chloe meets up with her old flame, Jimmy Olsen ...

Clark is trapped in the Forbidden Zone. Away from Earth, his superpowers are gone. He finds a potential ally who might help send him back.

Lana is chosen as Zod's concubine. She decides to help assassinate him instead.

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 2] Sneeze
Shown 5 Oct 06

Clark got the sniffles in the Forbidden Zone. He sneezes, and blows the barn door off. Lois (jogging in skimpy spandex) sees it land, and writes a (poorly-spelt) article for Chloe to publish in the Daily Planet!

Lex is kidnapped by Lochlyn Munro ( Freddy vs Jason ), who tortures him to find out how to obtain superpowers like Zod's. Lana, despite everything she has suffered because of Lex, still risks everything to save him.

Oliver Queen (Justin Hartley), Lex's old school rival, is in town. He is a ruthless businessman, like his rival - is he good or evil?

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 3] Wither
Shown 12 Oct 06
Reviewed 5th August 2007

Chloe and Jimmy Olsen spend a romantic eventing down at Makeout Point. Unfortunately this is interrupted by an unseen killer that attacks another courting couple. Clark investigates, and discovers that a vine is to blame. The killings are part of a reproductive cycle, though this is not treated as a sexual assault case. Clark discovers the vines can actally hurt him. But is it a meteor freak, a Luthor experiment or a Phantom Zone escapee?

Lois meets Oliver Queen, who hand-delivers a letter for Senator Kent. Lois kicks him out because she thinks he is just an attractive courier, then agrees to Date him when she realises exactly how rich and powerful he is! They attend Lex Luthor's charity fancy-dress party as Robin Hood and Maid Marian. Lex and Lana are Caesar (or is it Anthony?) and Cleopatra. Clark does not attend because costumes aren't (his) thing.

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 4] Arrow
Shown 19 Oct 06
Reviewed 12th August 2007

Lionel holds a fundraiser party for Senator Kent. Unfortunately, a hooded green archer runs in and steals her necklace. Lois makes it her mission to hunt down the thief.

Lois has a lot on her plate. She's got a day-job as the Senator's aide. She moonlights as a reporter for the Inquisitor, a down-market competitor of the Daily Planet. And she's got a BF - Oliver Queen!

Lionel has more to worry about than stolen jewelry. He knows that Lex is working on a project with Kryptonian weaponry. Lana knows about it too, and reveals how she really feels about it.

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 5] Reunion
Shown 26 Oct 06
Reviewed 19th August 2007

The ep starts with a flashback to Lex's days at boarding school. He had a sidekick, a fellow fan of the Warrior Angel comic. Unfortunately, the two of them fell foul of school bullies - led by Oliver Queen.

Umpteen days later, Lex bumps into the bullies at a posh get-together. And next thing you know, mysterious deaths are happening - straight out of The Omen .

Clark must discover how and why the deaths are happening, before Lex and Oliver are killed. Lois investigates as well, eager for a story and to save her Hot Boyfriend.

Chloe needs Oliver Queen to supply data from his spy satellites. It turns out that inmates from the Forbidden Zone might have crash-landed on Earth!

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 6] Fallout
Shown 2 Nov 06
Reviewed 26th August 2007

Jimmy Olsen is keeping track of Lex and Lana's plotting. He stumbles across a doublecross, but doesn't know what to make of it. Luckily Chloe is handy, to give useful advice.

Lex wants the US Military to test his Kryptonian artefact. Lana wants to keep it secret. And the Zoners want it for themselves ...

Clark discovers a couple of escapees from the Forbidden Zone. One can help him restore the Fortress of Solitude. The other eats radiation, and wants to kill Kal-El!

Lionel, Lois and Oliver are nowhere to be seen.

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 7] Rage
Shown 9 Nov 06
Reviewed 7th September 2007

Green Arrow takes on car-jackers face-to-face, instead of just sniping at them with his longbow. Naturally, he gets shot. Luckily, he has a super-drug that speed-heals any injury ... but the side-effect is that it increases aggression!

The drug is being developed as one of Lex's black projects. He's probably trying to make an army of super-soldiers to defend Earth. Naturally, things take a turn for the worse ...

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 8] Static
Shown 16 Nov 06
Reviewed 14th September 2007

Clark goes to Seattle to defeat a Phantom Zone escapee.

Lex is attacked by a 33.1 escapee, who traps him so Lex cannot be seen or heard by anyone else. Just like Daniel Jackson in the Crystal Skulls episode of Stargate: SG-1 . To save Lex, Lana and Chloe must break into Level 33.1!

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 9] Subterranean
Shown 7 Dec 06
Reviewed 21st September 2007

On the farm next door to Clark's, the fields are tilled by illegal immigrants. They're pale-skinned and speak fluent English, but are meant to be Mexican. They're being used as virtual slave labour. One of them escapes - but another is taken by an underground monster ...

The runaway gets to Clark, who hides hin from the Sheriff. Clark's an undocumented Alien too, of course. He wants to reunite the runaway with his mother (who's young enough to be his sister!) ...

Chloe and Jimmy are really paired up. He wants her to relocate to Metropolis - apparently she commutes from Smallville! He's also jealous of friendship with Clark.

Lex sends Lana to Holland. She loved the museums of Paris a couple of summers ago, and now she gets to see Dutch art. This is a nice distraction, because the slave farm (and supervillain) are both owned by LexCorp!

Lionel, Lois and Oliver are nowhere to be seen.

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 10] Hydro
Shown 11 Jan 07
Reviewed 28th September 2007

Chloe has a new rival at the newspaper - gossip columnist Linda Lake ( Tori Spelling )! The villainess has meteorite skills, specifically she can become liquid ...

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 11] Justice
Shown 18 Jan 07
Reviewed 1st October 2007

Someone's stealing secrets from the Luthors. Lex and Lionel are working together on 33.1, although Lionel covers up for Clark.

Bart is back, although he now looks less like Bart Simpson and more like Beaver from Veronica Mars ! He steals info from Lex and gives it to Green Arrow. However, Lex isn't such an easy target ...

Green Arrow's team includes a couple of familiar faces from previous eps. Yes, this is the beginning of the JLA!

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 12] Labyrinth
Shown 25 Jan 07
Reviewed 7th October 2007

Clark is attacked by a Phantom Zone escapee. He wakes up in a mental institution, and the psychiatrist tells him that the last six years were hallucinations. He's not really a superhero, he's mentally ill!

This isn't an original idea - it was done years ago in Buffy the Vampire Slayer . However, it's nice to look at an alternate universe with no Krypton freaks.

This is the first reference to the Martian Manhunter.

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 13] Crimson
Shown 1 Feb 07
Reviewed 14th October 2007

Valentine's day. Clark and Lois are set up on a blind date. Then Lois gets some red kryptonite lipstick that acts as an aphrodisiac and makes her fall for the first man she sees - yes, Clark! She dresses herself up in a miniskirt, then goes after him. As Jimmy says, It's so weird to see her acting as a girl!

Lois and Clark actually have decent chemistry for a change. Of course, the chemistry is red kryptonite! Seriously, how are we meant to see them as a potential couple when there is absolutely nothing between them?

Lex and Lana have an engagement party. They do not have much choice, since she is pregnant. Clark's mum is a guest, although Lionel is nowhere in sight. Naturally, Clark gatecrashes - security is typically non-existent. Clark still wants her, but she cannot get over the fact that he is hiding a secret from her. Their scenes together are very passionate, and Lana discovers a clue about Clark's secret.

Jimmy is a major character in this ep, and helps save the day. However, his paranoia and jealousy over Chloe and Clark are damaging ...

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 14] Trespass
Shown 8 Feb 07
Reviewed 21st October 2007

Lana is still obsessing about Clark. But as she examines the chisel that Lex stabbed him with ... a hidden stalker secretly photographs her. She tells Lex she is being stalked - he has his bodyguards take her to Chloe's. However, the stalker continues.

Lex has to go abroad on business, so his bodyguards actually get a few lines of dialogue. Lana has them take her to the Kent farm, although the Senator does not have any bodyguards of her own. Lionel and Lois are nowhere to be seen this week - perhaps they are having a secret tryst! Jimmy Olsen helps Clark track down the main suspect, a paparazzo. Clark says Just because there's a market, doesn't make it right - a condemnation of democracy! And Jimmy points out that Lana is actually stalking Clark!

This is one of the few eps which features a non-superpowered villain. Unfortunately, that fact does not make it any more believable. Also ... Why is anyone bothering to think about Clark's Secret? He is from Smallville, he is seemingly invulnerable - he is obviously just another meteor freak!

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 15] Freak
Shown 15 Feb 07
Reviewed 28th October 2007

Lana and Chloe have a girls' night out at the bowling alley. Chloe witnesses an abduction - someone is rounding up meteor freaks!

A High-School classmate of our protagonists has the ability to detect other meteor freaks. Lana gets involved - she suspects he will reveal Clark's secret. However, Clark's not the one whose secret is exposed.

Lex's part in the villainy indicates that he is becoming worse, not better.

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 16] Promise
Shown 15 Mar 07

It is the eve of the Luthor Wedding. Lana's doctor tries to blackmail Lex. Bad mistake!

Lana has second thoughts about the wedding. But Lionel intervenes ...

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 17] Combat
Shown 22 Mar 07

Director of Belle Reeve Asylum is hosting cage-fight death-matches on-line. Lois lane, intrepid reporter, investigates. Lex Luthor, building his 33.1 army, does likewise. But the biggest brawler in the arena is Titan, a Phantom Zone Escapee. This means that kal-El must get involved - in a fight to the death against one of the few beings strong enough to kill him!

Lana's pregnancy status takes a shift for the worse. Lex's plan suddenly seems a bad idea, not that he would admit this even to himself. He tries damage limitation by destroying all Lana's medical files.

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 18] Progeny
Shown 19 Apr 07
Reviewed November 2007

Chloe's mother Moira ( Lynda Carter ) is an inmate in Bell Reeve asylum - she is a meteor freak! She uses her superpowers to manipulate Chloe, and anyone else who gets too close to her.

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 19] Nemesis
Shown 26 Apr 07
Reviewed November 2007

Lex is held hostage by a woman who claims her husband was taken by LexCorp. Clark tries to save the day by infiltrating via a series of old tunnels - but cave-ins and Kryptonite mean that Lex and Clark must work together to get out alive!

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 20] Noir
Shown 3 May 07
Reviewed December 2007

Jimmy is working late in the Daily Planet building, when he discovers that Lana has been attacked. Then he gets knocked unconscious ...

Jimmy wakes up to find himself living out a b&w 1930s Film Noir. Everyone has a secret that mirrors their RL selves ...

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 21] Prototype
Shown 10 May 07
Reviewed December 2007

Lex has built a super-soldier. Yes, the crazy woman from a couple of episodes ago was right. Her husband has been re-engineered, given super-powers and is now a killing machine.

Lois is witness to the assassination of a Senator who threatened to expose LexCorp. And she's next on the hit-list. Of course, the super-soldier might still remember her, from his army days ...

Smallville [Season 6, Episode 22] Phantom
Shown 17 May 07
Reviewed December 2007

Lex has been continuing Project 33.1, in a secret base inside a dam. He has got a Phantom Zone inmate, which is always a bad idea!

Lana wants to leave Lex. Then her car mysteriously explodes. Somehow, by amazing coincidence, someone had put a bomb in it!

Season 7

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 1] Bizarro
Shown 27 Sep 07
Reviewed 20th May 2008

Clark has to face the Eeevil version of himself, an invader from the Bizarro Universe.

Lex has problems of his own, framed as he is for Lana's murder. But Lionel (who's strangely missing, as is Clark's mother) has pulled a few strings.

All loose ends from the previous Season are neatly tied up.

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 2] Kara
Shown 4 Oct 07
Reviewed 27th May 2008

A Kryptonian babe named Kara ( Laura Vandervoot ) is in town, throwing her weight around. Her space-pod was uncovered when the dam burst, and some MIBs are investigating.

Lex is looking for Kara as well - to thank her for saving his life. His marriage to Lana has been forgotten as quickly as his first marriage, or Lana's relationship with Jason Teague in Season 4!

Lois tries to prove that Kara's space-pod is an alien craft, so she can get an article published in the Daily Planet. The new Yuppie editor wants her in his office (hmm ...) and Chloe's working there full-time. Whatever happened to College? Didn't everyone go there after High School?

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 3] Fierce
Shown 11 Oct 07
Reviewed 3rd June 2008

Kara tries to blend in. Then she sees Jimmy Olsen, and tries to impress him by winning the Miss Dairy Queen Beauty Pageant.

Unfortunately, a trio of hot babes from out of town are also up for the Pageant. Worse, they may be super-villains!

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 4] Cure
Shown 18 Oct 07
Reviewed 10th June 2008

A Doctor (Dean Cain - Lois & Clark ) claims to have discovered a cure for Kryptonite infection. Chloe is desperate not to end up like her mother, so she signs up.

Someone is killing people off (wow, Smallville's death rate must be incredible!). Lex is bankrolling research, though he draws the line at murder. Not that this stops Clark from being a self-richeous git!

The villain is neither a meteor-freak nor a Kryptonian. He is more like an Immortal from Highlander ...

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 5] Action
Shown 25 Oct 07
Reviewed 17th June 2008

The Warrior Angel comic is being made into a movie - and the production is set in Smallville! This is a lucky break for movie star Christina Milian , because someone is trying to kill her!

Lionel's fate is revealed. It seems that the Luthor family's super-villainy has no limits!

Kara and Jimmy are nowhere in sight. Hmm!

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 6] Lara
Shown 1 Nov 07
Reviewed 24th June 2008

Kara goes to Washington DC to find her Kryptonian crystal. She uses her feminine wiles on the MIBs' equivalent of Jimmy Olsen. Unfortunately, the MIB leader is a tough, smart SOB. He outsmarts Lex's security team - but with the value for money that Lex gets for them, he would be better off without security altogether!

Clark has a vision of his Kryptonian mother, Lara ( Helen Slater ). She and Zor-El both visited Earth before Clark was born ...

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 7] Wrath
Shown 8 Nov 07
Reviewed 1st July 2008

Clark, Lana, a piece of Kryptonite and a bolt of lightning ... And the result, Lana gets some of Clark's super-powers! The power, combined with the ruthlessness she learned from Lex, make her potentially the greatest super-villain ever. And her first idea? She wants to murder Lex, even though she chose not to in the first ep of this Season.

Clark discovers some of Lana's Isis Foundation secrets. She has been spying on Lex's Project Sion ... the Brainiac liquid metal robot!

Kara and Jimmy are nowhere in sight. Hmm!

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 8] Blue
Shown 15 Nov 07
Reviewed 8th July 2008

Clark's Kryptonian mother, Lara ( Helen Slater ) is trapped in Zor-El's crystal. When Clark releases her, he also releases the eeevil Zor-El!

The pretty-boy newspaper editor is torn between his GF, Lois Lane, and his secret buddy ... Lex!

Kara has to decide whether she will help her daddy - and she must bear the consequences of her decision!

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 9] Gemini
Shown 13 Dec 07
Reviewed 15th July 2008

Clark has been looking for Kara for the last two weeks.

Lois is given the job of the big Lex Luthor expose. She did not get it by sleeping with the boss - worse, she was specifically chosen by Lex! And someone plants a bomb on Chloe so Lois can be blackmailed into destroying Lex's reputation. As if she needed the extra incentive!

Lana decides to share her Isis Foundation secrets with Clark. She has been doing a follow-up on Lex's Project Sion ... the Brainiac liquid metal robot may be on the mend!

Chloe and Jimmy end up in an elevator together. Uncomfortable, huh? But since Kara's been MIA for weeks, Jimmy can easily move on!

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 10] Persona
Shown 31 Jan 08

Lana and Clark are getting on better than ever before. It is perfect bliss, too good to be true ...

Brainiac (James Marsters - Buffy & Angel ) is back. He is having trouble regenerating - absorbing rats and hoboes is not enough. He needs Krypton's greatest scientist, who by strange coincidence is also on Earth!

This marks a major change in the relationship between Lana and Clark.

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 11] Siren
Shown 7 Feb 08

Oliver Queen (AKA Green Arrow) is back in town. Lois goes to visit him, angry that she was last to hear about it.

Lex hires a sexy Female Vigilante, Black Canary ( Alaina Huffman nee Kalanj ) to track down Green Arrow. This ep is a lot more plot-intensive than most.

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 12] Fracture
Shown 14 Feb 08

Lex and Lois go to find Kara in Detroit. Unfortunately, Lex ends up in a coma. Chloe's power can save Lex, but it is too risky. Lana has full (illicit) access to details of all LuthorCorp projects, including one that will let a volunteer enter Lex's dreams. Lionel lets them into the lab, but Clark is the only one strong enough to risk it. Seems like Lex is the only one who DOESN'T know Clark's secret!

Lex's dreams seem delusional. Somewhat out of character for the Lex of the last few years. Lionel in contrast is a really nice guy, trying to bond with Lex. This is all quite at odds with the LAST time Lex was shot - Smallville [Season 5, Episode 9] Lexmas - when he met his mother's ghost!

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 13] Hero
Shown 13 Mar 08

Pete, Clark's best buddy (last seen in the final ep of Season 3), is in town. He has now got some meteor powers. Could this be linked to the chewing-gum he now uses - a special brand of gum, which is now sponsoring the show!

Pete's superpowers lead him to the same choice that Lana made a few eps ago - kill Lex!

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 14] Traveler
Shown 20 Mar 08

Clark is kidnapped by Chief Tyrol ( BSG 2003 ) and a SWAT Team who use kryptonite tasers. Chloe and Lois have to track him down and save him. They know that only three people know Clark's secret weakness to Kryptonite ... not counting his mother and Pete, who have not been seen in over a week (or many months, in Mrs Kent's case) and thus could easily have been kidnapped and tortured themselves for such info.

Meanwhile, Dr Swann's daughter Patricia Swann ( Gina Holden ) arrives in town. She blames Lionel for her father's death (Wasn't it Genevieve Teague's fault?), and blackmails him. She knows about Veritas, the Luthor-Teague-Queen-Swan conspiracy around the Kryptonian Traveller, which means that Lionel must have suspected (or probably KNOWN outright) about Clark from before the pilot episode.

Kara is still a guest in Lex's mansion. Can Chloe and Lois save her, and get her memory back? Is Lex's security in the Mansion any better than the dozens (possibly over 100!) of times it has been breached before?

The Luthor boys take a turn for the eeevil this week. They act evil for no apparent reason - their actions make no sense even within the context of the episode, never mind in respect to the rest of the show. Yes, in SEVEN years of the show (including Season Four) this has got to be the daftest set of twists.

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 15] Veritas
Shown 27 Mar 08

Brainiac is back, and he wants Kara. Kal-EL will not let him, so Brainiac goes after other people that Clark loves instead.

Lionel spends all his time running around like a mad-man, begging everyone's forgiveness for his actions the previous week. Let us pretend that it was the worst thing that Lionel has ever done. Worse than forcing Lana to marry Lex? She used to hate him for this, but now she has other things on her mind.

Lex regains a childhood memory. Lionel was engaged in a conspiracy with Oliver Queen's dad and Genevieve Teague ( Jane Seymour from Season 4). They knew about Kal-El's impending arrival, and hired Dr Swan (Christopher Reeve).

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 16] Descent
Shown 17 Apr 08

A main character takes a swan-dive in the pre-credits sequence. Kal-El is too pre-occupied with Kara to do anything, but once he finds out that his own fate is concerned he gets involved.

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 17] Sleeper
Shown 24 Apr 08

The US Government has traced Kara's computer hacking back to Jimmy's computer. They blackmail him into spying on Chloe ...

It's nice to see Jimmy as the hero of a James Bond parody. The rest of the cast regulars pretty much sit this one out. Lana and Lois are nowhere to be seen, and Clark is off somewhere looking for Brainiac.

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 18] Apocalypse
Shown 1 May 08

Clark prepares himself to be wiped from existence, because Brainiac wants to kill the young Kal-El. Suddenly, Clark is in a parallel universe where he never arrived on Earth - as in It's a Wonderful Life!

Lex is POTUS, Kara is his right hand (though how she was raised as his sister when she was sent to Earth as an adult is not explained). Professor Milton Fine (James Marsters - Buffy the Vampire Slayer ) is pulling the strings, trying to re-work the Season Five cliffhanger!

Clark has learned the down side to changing history. Last time, he saved Lana and lost his dad. At least this much of the episode makes sense.

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 19] Quest
Shown 8 May 08

Lex is targeted by a mysterious assassin.

Clark and Chloe track down the last surviving Veritas member, Edward Teague (Robert Picardo - Star Trek: Voyager ). Unfortunately, Teague has plans of his own. Luckily he does not blame Lana for killing his wife!

Smallville [Season 7, Episode 20] Arctic
Shown 15 May 08

The loose ends of the plot are tied up. Kara suddenly becomes an interesting character, but it is too late. Brainiac makes another appearance, possibly his last ...

Lex discovers what he needs to have his final confrontation with The Traveller.

Season 8

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 1] Odyssey
Shown 18 Sep 08
Reviewed 13th November 2008

The JLA are after Clark. They start by beating up the hard-working workforce of LuthorCorp. Naturally, LuthorCorp starts to fight back ...

A lot of loose ends are tied up. We get to see our favourite characters, but only in clips from previous episodes. Lex, Lana, Clark's parents ... Lionel and Kara are not in this Season either, but why bother?

Sam Witwer ( Battlestar Galactica 2003 ) is now in the opening credits, giving a Blue Steel look straight out of Zoolander .

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 2] Plastique
Shown 25 Sep 08
Reviewed 13th November 2008

Clark starts his first day at work at the Daily Planet. It is run by Lex's replacement Tess Mercer ( Cassiday Freeman ), a red-haired swamp girl who must be the youngest VP in any Corporation. She is certainly not in the same league as Lex or Lionel, and is less of a bitch than Lois Lane herself. Chloe's brain is now more powerful than a supercomputer, but who cares?

The intrepid reporters are after a teenager named Bette Sans Souci AKA Plastique ( Jessica Parker Kennedy ) who has firestarter powers. Chloe meets a helpful paramedic called Davis Bloom (Sam Witwer - Battlestar Galactica 2003 ), who may be part of the Season arc.

Kat ( Sara Canning ), one of Clark's new co-workers at the Daily Planet, tags along.

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 3] Toxic
Shown 2 Oct 08

Oliver Queen is poisoned with a mysterious substance. He gets Clark to take him to safety - he refuses to go to a hospital, because he knows that standard treatment will not cure him.

Oliver's delirium takes the form of an extended flashback. He discovered the poison while stranded on a desert island. Tess Mercer ( Cassiday Freeman ), the new LuthorCorp CEO, was also on the island ...

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 4] Instinct
Shown 9 Oct 08

A gorgeous space-babe named Maxima ( Charlotte Sullivan ) detects a Kryptonian signal from Earth, and drops by. She is looking for Kal-El, because he is the only man physically strong enough to survive mating with her. Her search tactics consist of kissing every man she meets, and seeing if her pheromones kill him.

Luckily, Chloe still has a Brainiac download in her head. It is slowly killing her, but at least it gives her an edge.

Meanwhile, Oliver Queen tries to reignite his relationship with Tess Mercer ( Cassiday Freeman ).

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 5] Committed
Shown 16 Oct 08

A maniac is kidnapping engaged or recently-married couples, and subjecting them to a sadistic lie detector. Chloe and Jimmy are on his hit-list, so Lois and Clark pretend to be a couple in order to lure the killer out. He is just a loser who has seen too many Saw movies (they should have stopped at a trilogy, but when money's involved the Producers never care).

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 6] Prey
Shown 23 Oct 08

Clark hangs out with Chloe (strangely, Lois is nowhere to be seen). They listen on the Police radio scanner, and Clark uses super-speed to catch lots of crooks. Unfortunately, he gets to one crime too late - a massacre! Worse, someone is targeting the Discussion group of Chloe's meteor freak club, the Isis Foundation.

The Martian Manhunter has lost his powers, but is now a Detective with the Metro PD. The main suspect in the killings is Davis Bloom (Sam Witwer - Battlestar Galactica 2003 ) the local paramedic, a recurring character. Jimmy Olsen also wants to solve the mystery.

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 7] Identity
Shown 30 Oct 08

Clark saves Lois, but gets photographed by Jimmy Olsen. He is just a red blur, but that's enough for Tess Mercer ( Cassiday Freeman ) to consider running a story about a super-powered vigilante. Clark wants to keep his powers a secret, but his identity may get outed ...

Oliver Queen has hung up his cloak as Green Arrow. Yes, Tess kicking him out of bed has had a serious effect on him. But he is the only one that Clark can trust to help him.

Lois teams up with a new workmate, who has a secret power. He can read the memory of anyone he touches, and Tess wants him to find out Lois' secrets.

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 8] Bloodline
Shown 6 Nov 08

Lois tries to move into Clark's farmhouse with him. It is a three-hour commute to work each day, but she does not seem to care. At least she brought her Def Leppard albums!

Someone sends Clark a package. Inside is the crystal stolen from LuthorCorp lady's office. It sends Clark and Lois to the Forbidden Zone, where they meet up with a familiar face ...

Zod's wife escapes, and we find out what is wrong with the Paramedic guy Davis Bloom (Sam Witwer - Battlestar Galactica 2003 ). Also, LuthorCorp Lady gets a few more clues in the hunt for Lex, and she gets ever closer to Clark's secret.

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 9] Abyss
Shown 13 Nov 08

Chloe starts to lose her memory - Brainiac infected her, and now he is deleting her piece by piece.

Chloe still manages to remember Davis Bloom (Sam Witwer - Battlestar Galactica 2003 ) the Paramedic. There is something about him ...

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 10] Bride
Shown 20 Nov 08

It is Chloe's wedding day. We watch the wedding video as Clark gives her away and Lois is the maid of honour. Then something bad happens ...

The main episode is the events running up to the wedding ceremony. Every effort is made to make it seem like Lois and Clark have some kind of sexual tension, but there is no chemistry there at all. Although in all fairness, there was no chemistry between Clark and Lana either.

Oliver Queen does not bother attending. He thinks Lex is still alive, and plans to hunt down and murder the bald billionaire. He is not the only one - a familiar lady is also after sexy Lexy. She is clumsily named in the start credits, instead of being kept to the end credits as they would have done in Angel .

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 11] Legion
Shown 15 Jan 09

Time-travellers from the Legion arrive. Clark fights a Human freedom fighter from the future.

The real enemy is Brainiac, who has taken over Chloe.

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 12] Bulletproof
Shown 22 Jan 09

John Jones, formerly the Martian Manhunter, is now a mundane human detective in Metro PD. He gets shot investigating a new gang. Clark goes undercover as a cop, and discovers a cabal of vigilante policemen. They are idiots who use a red dot laser-sight on a sniper rifle (which already has a telescopic scope), but in this show who ever cared about accuracy?

Green Arrow argues against murder as an acceptable form of vigilantism. Ironic when one considers future episodes.

Lana Lang confronts Tess Mercer ( Cassiday Freeman ). It seems Lana has stumbled upon one of Lex's secrets ...

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 13] Power
Shown 29 Jan 09

Lana has gone missing again, and Clark hunts for her. He discovers what happened to her after the end of last Season. She went to a retired military type, who trained her to resist pain and torture. This is a step in her plan to destroy Lex and his work.

Tess Mercer ( Cassiday Freeman ) is also after Lana ... or rather, after the nano-tech that Lana is trying to steal. However, LexCorp security is typically lax.

This ep was directed by Alison Mack

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 14] Requiem
Shown 5 Feb 09

Teryl Rothery meets with the LuthorCorp Board, blaming Tess Mercer ( Cassiday Freeman ) for the loss of the Prometheus nanotech suit. The Board want to sack Tess, but she has outsmarted them. She has helped Olly Queen buy a controlling share, and he now performs a hostile takeover.

A mad bomber is after Olly and Tess, presumably operating on the orders of the bed-bound Lex Luthor. Tess is out of town, so she is only mentioned in passing. Olly's suspect is a former Queen Industries employee named Winslow Shott AKA The Toymaker (Chris Gautier - Eureka ). Ironically, this appears to be an entirely different character from the LexCorp tech guy in Smallville [Season 3, Episode 11] Delete

Lana now has super-powers. She and Clark can be physically intimate again, like they were in Smallville [Season 5, Episode 2] Mortal . But if the Toymaster is using kryptonite-enhanced explosives, will Lex finally be able to get revenge on those who wronged him?

How far will Olly go to get even with Lex? He is a vicious backstabber in the boardroom and a self-richeous git.

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 15] Infamous
Shown 12 Mar 09

Linda Lake ( Tori Spelling ) is back. She threatens to reveal Clark's secret.

Jimmy is still in a coma, and Green Arrow is nowhere to be seen. Clark speaks to his mother on the phone, however.

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 16] Turbulence
Shown 19 Mar 09

Tess Mercer ( Cassiday Freeman ) takes Clark on a plane ride. Unfortunately they hit some turbulence, and face certain death. Will Clark use his powers to save Tess?

Thanks to an unfortunate coincidence, Jimmy starts to investigate Davis Bloom (Sam Witwer - Battlestar Galactica 2003 ).

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 17] Hex
Shown 26 Mar 09

Clark skips Chloe's birthday bash so he can work with Lois. A sexy witch named Zaranna ( Serinda Swan ) grants Chloe's wish, and turns her into Lois.

The witch is the antagonist of the week. Clark is vulnerable to her magics, of course.

Jimmy and Davis Bloom (Sam Witwer - Battlestar Galactica 2003 ) the Paramedic are nowhere in sight. But Chloe does not notice, because she has Clark and Olly's full attention. And now she has a new career for herself ...

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 18] Eternal
Shown 2 Apr 09

Tess Mercer ( Cassiday Freeman ) reads Lionel Luthor's Veritas journal. This leads on to a flashback clip to the pilot episode. She realises that there were TWO Kryptonian children ... the Traveler and the Beast. She also knows that Davis Bloom (Sam Witwer - Battlestar Galactica 2003 ) is up to no good. However, she prefers to handle this by herself, instead of letting Clark write a story about the missing persons cases.

Davis and Chloe are playing happy families, while Jimmy has abandoned his fiance. Clark is obsessed with his career, especially writing a story about the missing persons cases. Lois is nowhere in sight.

Tess explains Davis' path to him. It is heartwarming to see the flashbacks of young Lex and Davis, especially since they have so much in common.

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 19] Stiletto
Shown 23 Apr 09

Lois creates a ficticious costumed hero named Stiletto. This allows her to walk around in figure-enhancing PVC and thigh-high boots.

Local organised crime characters are keen on controlling street crime. They already have forged cash with Kryptonite, but they are greedy and violent. Naturally, they want to make an example of the costumed heroes ...

Chloe is keeping Davis Bloom (Sam Witwer - Battlestar Galactica 2003 ) in her basement. Jimmy, jilted and fired, is a bartender ... working in the mobsters' club!

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 20] Beast
Shown 30 Apr 09

Jimmy is desperate enough to beg Olly Queen for money. Olly thinks Jimmy has become an alkie - he knows the signs, of course. But they both want to protect Chloe ...

Chloe is still hiding Davis Bloom (Sam Witwer - Battlestar Galactica 2003 ). He is officially a wanted serial killer now. Clark wants to use Kryptonian tech in the Fortress of Solitude to trap him.

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 21] Injustice
Shown 07/May/09

Tess Mercer ( Cassiday Freeman ) never proved Clark was Kal-El, but she acts as if she did. She has her own squad of tweenage Belle-Reeve super-freaks out to kill the Monster, and they all know Clark's secret identity too.

Chloe is rescued by Clark. She has boundary issues with Doomsday, and now orders Clark to kill him. This is a total character derailment, though it is actually explained this time. However, Clark forgets he has X-Ray vision!

Olly tries to seduce Tess yet again. But she is frigid - and has a secret boss!

Smallville [Season 8, Episode 22] Doomsday
Shown 14/May/09

The JLA (well, two of them) have to decide who to follow - Olly or Clark. Clark wants to use black kryptonite to split Davis Bloom (Sam Witwer - Battlestar Galactica 2003 ) from Doomsday. Olly just wants to kill them both!

Clark asks Jimmy to help out. After all, someone has to look after Chloe and Davis.