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XXX Franchise

XXX

XXX US Black Ops boss Gibbons (Samuel L Jackson - Marvel Avengers ) realises he needs a new type of Secret Agent, someone who can think outside the box. The top candidate is an extreme sports enthusiast, Xander Cage (Vin Diesel - Riddick ).

Cage is subjected to a series of dangerous test scenarios, including an encounter with a dangerous drug warlord (Danny Trejo - Machete ).

XXX is sent on his first mission. He must infiltrate a gang of Euro-Trash anarchists run by Marton Csokas ( Xena: Warrior Princess ). The good news is that he gets to hook up with tough-girl Asia Argento .

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  • XXX 2: The Next Level

    XXX 2: The Next Level The IMF - oops, the XXX program - is disavowed. Xander Cage (Vin Diesel - Riddick ) is written off as killed in action. His replacement (Ice Cube - Ghosts of Mars ) is a career criminal who was somehow allowed to become a Navy SEAL. The result is a blaxploitation movie, with the most negative racial stereotypes since Big Momma's House.

    Gibbons (Samuel L Jackson - Marvel Avengers ) has a rival in the US military-industrial complex. The villain is Colonel Decker - oops, Defence Secretary Deckert ( Spiderman ). If only they had just made Nick Fury versus Green Goblin instead.

    Ice Cube teams up with Gibbons' informant, Charlie ( Sunny Mabrey ). Will he seal the deal with a white she-devil, described as black man's kryptonite in Undercover Brother ?

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  • XXX: Return of Xander Cage

    XXX: Return of Xander Cage Samuel L. Jackson has stopped recruiting for Marvel Avengers , and is back to recruiting for the XXX program.

    US Intelligence boss Marke ( Toni Collette ) has obtained a super-weapon, Pandora's Box. This is just a codename, like the Rabbit's Foot in Mission Impossible 3 , not literally the ancient artefact from Lara Croft: Cradle of Life . She displays the device to a conference of her fellow Intelligence Heads, a group of rent-a-villains like Nigel Bennett ( Lexx ). Then a highly-skilled intruder (Donnie Yen - Rogue One: A Star Wars Tale ) breaks in and steals the weapon!

    Marke has a tech nerd ( Nina Dobrev ), but needs a team of specialists for field-work. She finds Xander Cage (Vin Diesel - Riddick ), who faked his death after the first film. Cage has his own team of buddies, including a stunt-driver (Rory McCann - Game of Thrones ) and a sniper ( Ruby Rose ). They go undercover, posing as crooks on the run.

    This is a cheesy and cheerful action extravaganza. It displays no respect for the laws of physics, although it dies display a lot of violence without consequences. Like the John Wayne movies of the Hayes Code era, a cowboy can get shot but he never bleeds. The film may have a PG-13 certificate, but that is only because of the language. Dobrev says This is f*cking great! at the end.

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  • Fast And the Furious franchise

    Fast and the Furious 8

    Fast and the Furious 8 Dominic (Vin Diesel - The Last Witch-Hunter ) is relaxing in the Carribean, just like in XXX: Return of Xander Cage . However, he gets dragged into a conspiracy when he is blackmailed into working for a supervillain named Cypher ( Charlize Theron ). It turns out that she has been behind the villains in the previous three films, so everything starts to link together plot-wise. Okay, this is retroactive continuity the same way that Spectre linked all the previous Daniel Craig movies in the James Bond series.

    The Rock gets the blame for Dom's defection. He gets a burn notice, and ends up in prison with previous villain Jason Statham ( The Mechanic ). Mister Nobody (Kurt Russell - The Thing (1982) ) gets them both out, but now they must work together. Nobody's sidekick Mister Nothing (Scott Eastwood - Texas Chainsaw 3D ) starts as a whiny pencil-pusher but soon becomes the team's token white guy, replacing the Paul Walker character (who has gotten his happy ending with Dom's sister). The result is a formulaic live-action cartoon that glamourises all kinds of car stunts, which is ironic because one of the main actors of the series died in a car crash.

    The trailer gives away everything and nothing. Basically the whole movie is two and a half hours worth of car chases, while the trailer is only two and a half minutes of the same. The street-racers use their super-cars to fight a submarine at the north pole. What is next - Fast and Furious in Space?

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