ORBzine - Siren TV Review

[Season 1 !Season 2 ]


Season 1

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 1] Pilot AKA Mermaid Discovery
Shown 29 Mar 18

The story starts aboard the North Star, an American fishing boat in the Berring Strait. They catch a strange creature in the net - more like Harbinger than the mermaid episode of Charmed . It turns out that some MIBs are also looking for mermaids in the area.

The story switches to a small town on the Alaska coast, on the lake that is used in every Canadian TV show from The 4400 to Once upon A Time . It is the time of the annual Mermaid Festival. Local shopkeeper Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) seems to know more about the town's history than she is letting on.

The protagonist is the wayward son of the Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ), who would rather work as an environmentalist saving seals than attending the civic functions that finance his hobby. He meets a naked girl ( Eline Powell ) in a way that is more realistic than the idealised version in Splash .

It turns out that the mermaids have superhuman strength, even when they are out of the water. They eat raw meat, and feel entitled to help themselves to clothing and anything else that they find lying around. As a result, we can expect at least one innocent person to be brutally murdered.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 2] The Lure
Shown 29 Mar 18

The protagonist has gone to sea with his buddies, aboard the North Star. The crew just want their friend back, and to do that they must discover where the MIBs have him. The protagonist wants to save the mermaids, to atone for what his ancestors had to do in order to survive.

Rynn ( Eline Powell ) returns to the town, and steals some clothes. The locals are disgusted at her nudity - presumably because she would have no reason to shave below the waist and thus they might regard her as a bad role model for their children.

The Sheriff investigates last episode's brutal murder. He theorises that the dead man might have been victim of a sexual assault. His female deputy replies Looks like he got what he deserved. Yes, the very definition of victim-blaming! In all fairness she is a police officer in America, and standard operational procedure for cops seems to be automatic escalation to lethal force at any excuse.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 3] Interview With A Mermaid
Shown 05 Apr 18

The protagonist and his girlfriend are left to babysit Rynn ( Eline Powell ). Despite knowing the fact that she has superhuman strength and a bad temper, they pester her with questions and medical tests. Strangely, she seems attracted to emotionally unavailable men. If only the man in the car had played hard-to-get ...

The Sheriff starts to put the clues together. He has a dead body, and tales of a homeless girl stealing clothes.

The fishermen get a clue to the whereabouts of their missing friend. They get a text purporting to be from him, and trace the number to a nurse's mobile phone. All they have to do is tail her from her home to the secret military base. Yes, it seems the MIB staff do not live in a barracks, but in non-secure houses that are subject to the civilian sheriff's jurisdiction.

The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) wants his son back. His prodigal son, that is. This leads to a confrontation between the brothers.

The good guys stupidly leave Rynn alone, even though they know she has a mind of her own. She ends up at a party, where she drinks beer as if it were water. And speaking of water, the party is in a back yard with a swimming pool in the middle. How long will it be before the mermaid ends up in the pool? Well, the babysitters were in charge of her from breakfast time, but it is night-time before they get to the party!

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 4] On The Road
Shown 12 Apr 18

The mermaid in captivity decides to break out. Naturally, she slaughters everyone who gets in her way.

The kidnapped fisherman also decides to break out of the lab. He teams up with a young black woman who wears a nurse's uniform, and does not seem to speak or understand English very well.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 5] Curse Of The Starving Class
Shown 19 Apr 18

This is set a few months after the previous episode. In all that time, not much seems to have transpired.

The MIBs' plan is to pay the local fishermen to remove all fish from the mermaids' feeding ground. This plan to starve the mermaids out succeeds. Rynn ( Eline Powell ) and her sister return to the town.

The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) gets a couple of employees back at work. One is his prodigal son, who wants to nose around and discover his secrets. The other is the kidnapped fisherman, whom the MIBs have lost interest in.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 6] Showdown
Shown 26 Apr 18

Rynn ( Eline Powell ) is hanging out with the biologist and his girlfriend. Her sister stays with local shopkeeper Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ), the biggest local expert on mermaids.

The biologist has a quandry on his hands. The so-called bad guy merely wants to use the mermaids' stem cells in order to cure humans who have been paralysed. One such petient is the biologist's mother.

The mermaids have been presented as innocent victims. However, they have predatory instincts that would put a great white shark to shame. Ryn's sister adopts a Kill them all, let god sort them out attitude to the human species. And even Rynn herself has an attitude of You are either for me or against me that may have been made famous by George W. Bush, but is now associated with Social Justice Warriors.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 7] Dead in the Water
Shown 03 May 18

Rynn ( Eline Powell ) is now in police custody for the brutal murder she committed. Sirens are known for singing, and she sings like a bird. A stool pigeon, that is.

The fishermen take their tawler out to look for mermaids. They are after a US Navy ship. Presumably the Navy ship is stealthed against radar, because the trawler nearly crashes into it in a fog bank.

The Navy crew ran into a lot of trouble. In a scene reminiscent of Aliens , the fishermen discover that the coffee is still warm. There are no bodies in sight, so we must assume the starving mermaids took them away for a snack. However, the Navy knew what they were going up against. So how can well-armed Navy Seals get take out by a teenage girl with a spear improvised out of a narwhal's tusk? And will the white trash fishermen fare any better?

The fishermen suffer the inevitable ambush. This involves a CGI monster or two, but the fast-paced action and night-time lighting make it watchable. Not particularly original, but watchable.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 8] Being Human
Shown 10 May 18

After the botched action-adventure of the previous episode, we now have the funeral of the person who got killed. Yes, this show actually displays consequences to actions.

The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) speaks at the wake. He used to be friends with the dead man, they served together on the same fishing boat when they started out. However, his status as management now makes him unpopular. Local shopkeeper Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) is about the only one willing to talk to him. She wants money off him, and mentions that they are family.

Rynn gate-crashes the wake. It turns out that she is a dead aim at the game of darts. Presumably all her species are the same.

Rynn's sister is back, and she has brought reinforcements. Now there are three of them, and they are an ethnically diverse bunch. This means they sill easily stand out in the small redneck town.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 9] Street Fight
Shown 17 May 18

The protagonist is under Rynn's siren-song spell. He has a vivid dream about her - first seducing him with her human side, then devouring him with her predatorial side.

Rynn's sister is back, and she has brought reinforcements. Luckily they bump into three metal-detectorists, whose clothes just happen to fit the mer-folk perfectly. Despite their murderous mission, they manage to steal the clothes without killing the original owners.

The dead Fisherman's son wants revenge. He picks up his rifle, and goes hunting. Of course, this is not a straightforward action-adventure show so it will not be a simple case of violence solving the problem.

The scientist is still in town, looking for mermaids. Due to the actions of the military team he worked with, nobody in-the-know wants anything to do with him. However, he heard the siren's son and is under the spell now.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 10] Aftermath
Shown 24 May 18

Rynn's sister is severely wounded. The scientist agrees to help - he is afflicted with her siren song, and fears that if he does not hear it again he will go insane. Unfortunately the protagonist is similarly afflicted with Rynn's song.

The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) hears about the shoot-out. Well, it is not a secret - there is a CSI crew taking samples in the street, including the blood-stains that came from the mermaid.

Local shopkeeper Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) delivers exposition about how she is related to the protagonist's family as well as the mermaids.

There is also some setup for the next Season.






Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 1 ]
Shown th February 2019

Reviewed in our special supplement Siren

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    Season 2

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 1] The Arrival AKA Song of Love
    Shown 24th January 2019

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) has decided to stay on the land. She lives with local shopkeeper Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ), who teaches her how to act human and blend in.

    The local marine mammals start to act strangely. The sea lions are spooked, even when Rynn is not around, and the whales start to beach themselves en masse. The biologists take Rynn out to investigate.

    The sheriff gets called in to answer questions from the Council. The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) does not stick up for him, so he gets fired. The victim-blaming woman deputy takes over. This leaves the ex-Sheriff free to hang out with his estranged wife ( Garcelle Beauvais ).

    The fishermen befriend a flirty tourist girl named Nicole. It seems too good to be true that she would want to hang out with them. How long will it take them to realise she has a secret agenda?

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 2] The Wolf At The Door AKA Family Secrets
    Shown 31st January 2019

    Maddie's mother ( Garcelle Beauvais ) is back. She claims to be a recovering junkie, and attends an Addicts Anonymous session in the local centre. Unfortunately she seems to have forgotten what the anonymous bit means. She recognises Ben, one of the other attendees, who is her daughter's boyfriend. Rather than respect his privacy, when he is dealing with the after-effects of his toxic and addictive encounter with the siren's song, she decides to out him to her daughter.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 3] Natural Order
    Shown 7th February 2019

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) agrees to let the biologists record her siren song. Since the male is trying to overcome an addiction to her song, this might be a suitable substitute.

    The BAME Sheriff has been replaced by a female one. She asks him to help her with what he knows about the strangers who wander around acting like junkies all the time.

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) has a subplot where she uses a DNA test to track down distant family members.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 4] Oil & Water
    Shown 14th February 2019

    The mer-folk are unmanageable as a group. All they want to do is fight for dominance and hunt for food. This is perfectly normal in their natural environment, but it is not exactly suitable for modern human society. For the average human, hunting is done through exchanging time and work for money. Meanwhile, playing physical games to establish social dominance seems to have been replaced by on-line virtue signalling.

    Ben is assigned to look after one of the mer-men, a fellow who gets the nickname of Levi. He was the one who killed the fisherman in Season One. Since the males are just drones who obey the orders of their female leaders, he cannot be held responsible for what he was ordered to do. However, the fisherman's son is still murderously angry at his father's death. He patched up Rynn's rival, and is keeping her prisoner in the hold of his ship. Luckily Nicole, his latina girlfriend, is not around.

    Maddie does not have to babysit any of the mer-folk. Instead she has a get-to-know-you lunch with her estranged mother ( Garcelle Beauvais ).

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) is visited by her distant family member. Meanwhile, she has two females upstairs fighting for dominance.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 5] Primal Instincts
    Shown 21st February 2019

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 6] Distress Call
    Shown 28th February 2019

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 7] Entrapment
    Shown 7th March 2019

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 8] Leverage
    Shown 14th March 2019