ORBzine - Siren TV Review

[Season 1 !Season 2 !Season 3 ]


Season 1

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 1] Pilot AKA Mermaid Discovery
Shown 29 Mar 18

The story starts aboard the North Star, an American fishing boat in the Bering Strait. They catch a strange creature in the net - more like Harbinger than the mermaid episode of Charmed . It turns out that some MIBs are also looking for mermaids in the area.

The story switches to a small town on the Alaska coast, on the lake that is used in every Canadian TV show from The 4400 to Once upon A Time . It is the time of the annual Mermaid Festival. Local shopkeeper Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) seems to know more about the town's history than she is letting on.

The protagonist is the wayward son of the Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ), who would rather work as an environmentalist saving seals than attending the civic functions that finance his hobby. He meets a naked girl ( Eline Powell ) in a way that is more realistic than the idealised version in Splash .

It turns out that the mermaids have superhuman strength, even when they are out of the water. They eat raw meat, and feel entitled to help themselves to clothing and anything else that they find lying around. As a result, we can expect at least one innocent person to be brutally murdered.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 2] The Lure
Shown 29 Mar 18

The protagonist has gone to sea with his buddies, aboard the North Star. The crew just want their friend back, and to do that they must discover where the MIBs have him. The protagonist wants to save the mermaids, to atone for what his ancestors had to do in order to survive.

Rynn ( Eline Powell ) returns to the town, and steals some clothes. The locals are disgusted at her nudity - presumably because she would have no reason to shave below the waist and thus they might regard her as a bad role model for their children.

The Sheriff investigates last episode's brutal murder. He theorises that the dead man might have been victim of a sexual assault. His female deputy replies Looks like he got what he deserved. Yes, the very definition of victim-blaming! In all fairness she is a police officer in America, and standard operational procedure for cops seems to be automatic escalation to lethal force at any excuse.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 3] Interview With A Mermaid
Shown 05 Apr 18

The protagonist and his girlfriend are left to babysit Rynn ( Eline Powell ). Despite knowing the fact that she has superhuman strength and a bad temper, they pester her with questions and medical tests. Strangely, she seems attracted to emotionally unavailable men. If only the man in the car had played hard-to-get ...

The Sheriff starts to put the clues together. He has a dead body, and tales of a homeless girl stealing clothes.

The fishermen get a clue to the whereabouts of their missing friend. They get a text purporting to be from him, and trace the number to a nurse's mobile phone. All they have to do is tail her from her home to the secret military base. Yes, it seems the MIB staff do not live in a barracks, but in non-secure houses that are subject to the civilian sheriff's jurisdiction.

The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) wants his son back. His prodigal son, that is. This leads to a confrontation between the brothers.

The good guys stupidly leave Rynn alone, even though they know she has a mind of her own. She ends up at a party, where she drinks beer as if it were water. And speaking of water, the party is in a back yard with a swimming pool in the middle. How long will it be before the mermaid ends up in the pool? Well, the babysitters were in charge of her from breakfast time, but it is night-time before they get to the party!

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 4] On The Road
Shown 12 Apr 18

The mermaid in captivity decides to break out. Naturally, she slaughters everyone who gets in her way.

The kidnapped fisherman also decides to break out of the lab. He teams up with a young black woman who wears a nurse's uniform, and does not seem to speak or understand English very well.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 5] Curse Of The Starving Class
Shown 19 Apr 18

This is set a few months after the previous episode. In all that time, not much seems to have transpired.

The MIBs' plan is to pay the local fishermen to remove all fish from the mermaids' feeding ground. This plan to starve the mermaids out succeeds. Rynn ( Eline Powell ) and her sister return to the town.

The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) gets a couple of employees back at work. One is his prodigal son, who wants to nose around and discover his secrets. The other is the kidnapped fisherman, whom the MIBs have lost interest in.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 6] Showdown
Shown 26 Apr 18

Rynn ( Eline Powell ) is hanging out with the biologist and his girlfriend. Her sister stays with local shopkeeper Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ), the biggest local expert on mermaids.

The biologist has a quandry on his hands. The so-called bad guy merely wants to use the mermaids' stem cells in order to cure humans who have been paralysed. One such petient is the biologist's mother.

The mermaids have been presented as innocent victims. However, they have predatory instincts that would put a great white shark to shame. Ryn's sister adopts a Kill them all, let god sort them out attitude to the human species. And even Rynn herself has an attitude of You are either for me or against me that may have been made famous by George W. Bush, but is now associated with Social Justice Warriors.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 7] Dead in the Water
Shown 03 May 18

Rynn ( Eline Powell ) is now in police custody for the brutal murder she committed. Sirens are known for singing, and she sings like a bird. A stool pigeon, that is.

The fishermen take their tawler out to look for mermaids. They are after a US Navy ship. Presumably the Navy ship is stealthed against radar, because the trawler nearly crashes into it in a fog bank.

The Navy crew ran into a lot of trouble. In a scene reminiscent of Aliens , the fishermen discover that the coffee is still warm. There are no bodies in sight, so we must assume the starving mermaids took them away for a snack. However, the Navy knew what they were going up against. So how can well-armed Navy Seals get take out by a teenage girl with a spear improvised out of a narwhal's tusk? And will the white trash fishermen fare any better?

The fishermen suffer the inevitable ambush. This involves a CGI monster or two, but the fast-paced action and night-time lighting make it watchable. Not particularly original, but watchable.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 8] Being Human
Shown 10 May 18

After the botched action-adventure of the previous episode, we now have the funeral of the person who got killed. Yes, this show actually displays consequences to actions.

The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) speaks at the wake. He used to be friends with the dead man, they served together on the same fishing boat when they started out. However, his status as management now makes him unpopular. Local shopkeeper Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) is about the only one willing to talk to him. She wants money off him, and mentions that they are family.

Rynn gate-crashes the wake. It turns out that she is a dead aim at the game of darts. Presumably all her species are the same.

Rynn's sister is back, and she has brought reinforcements. Now there are three of them, and they are an ethnically diverse bunch. This means they sill easily stand out in the small redneck town.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 9] Street Fight
Shown 17 May 18

The protagonist is under Rynn's siren-song spell. He has a vivid dream about her - first seducing him with her human side, then devouring him with her predatorial side.

Rynn's sister is back, and she has brought reinforcements. Luckily they bump into three metal-detectorists, whose clothes just happen to fit the mer-folk perfectly. Despite their murderous mission, they manage to steal the clothes without killing the original owners.

The dead Fisherman's son wants revenge. He picks up his rifle, and goes hunting. Of course, this is not a straightforward action-adventure show so it will not be a simple case of violence solving the problem.

The scientist is still in town, looking for mermaids. Due to the actions of the military team he worked with, nobody in-the-know wants anything to do with him. However, he heard the siren's son and is under the spell now.

Siren Siren [Season 1, Episode 10] Aftermath
Shown 24 May 18

Rynn's sister is severely wounded. The scientist agrees to help - he is afflicted with her siren song, and fears that if he does not hear it again he will go insane. Unfortunately the protagonist is similarly afflicted with Rynn's song.

The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) hears about the shoot-out. Well, it is not a secret - there is a CSI crew taking samples in the street, including the blood-stains that came from the mermaid.

Local shopkeeper Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) delivers exposition about how she is related to the protagonist's family as well as the mermaids.

There is also some setup for the next Season.






Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 1 ]
Shown th February 2020

Reviewed in our special supplement Siren

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    Season 2

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 1] The Arrival AKA Song of Love
    Shown 24th January 2019

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) has decided to stay on the land. She lives with local shopkeeper Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ), who teaches her how to act human and blend in.

    The local marine mammals start to act strangely. The sea lions are spooked, even when Rynn is not around, and the whales start to beach themselves en masse. The biologists take Rynn out to investigate.

    The sheriff gets called in to answer questions from the Council. The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) does not stick up for him, so he gets fired. The victim-blaming woman deputy takes over. This leaves the ex-Sheriff free to hang out with his estranged wife ( Garcelle Beauvais ).

    The fishermen befriend a flirty tourist girl named Nicole. It seems too good to be true that she would want to hang out with them. How long will it take them to realise she has a secret agenda?

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 2] The Wolf At The Door AKA Family Secrets
    Shown 31st January 2019

    Maddie's mother ( Garcelle Beauvais ) is back. She claims to be a recovering junkie, and attends an Addicts Anonymous session in the local centre. Unfortunately she seems to have forgotten what the anonymous bit means. She recognises Ben, one of the other attendees, who is her daughter's boyfriend. Rather than respect his privacy, when he is dealing with the after-effects of his toxic and addictive encounter with the siren's song, she decides to out him to her daughter.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 3] Natural Order
    Shown 7th February 2019

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) agrees to let the biologists record her siren song. Since the male is trying to overcome an addiction to her song, this might be a suitable substitute.

    The BAME Sheriff has been replaced by a female one. She asks him to help her with what he knows about the strangers who wander around acting like junkies all the time.

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) has a subplot where she uses a DNA test to track down distant family members.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 4] Oil & Water
    Shown 14th February 2019

    The mer-folk are unmanageable as a group. All they want to do is fight for dominance and hunt for food. This is perfectly normal in their natural environment, but it is not exactly suitable for modern human society. For the average human, hunting is done through exchanging time and work for money. Meanwhile, playing physical games to establish social dominance seems to have been replaced by on-line virtue signalling.

    Ben is assigned to look after one of the mer-men, a fellow who gets the nickname of Levi. He was the one who killed the fisherman in Season One. Since the males are just drones who obey the orders of their female leaders, he cannot be held responsible for what he was ordered to do. However, the fisherman's son is still murderously angry at his father's death. He patched up Rynn's rival, and is keeping her prisoner in the hold of his ship. Luckily Nicole, his latina girlfriend, is not around.

    Maddie does not have to babysit any of the mer-folk. Instead she has a get-to-know-you lunch with her estranged mother Susan ( Garcelle Beauvais ).

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) is visited by her distant family member. Meanwhile, she has two females upstairs fighting for dominance.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 5] Primal Instincts
    Shown 21st February 2019

    Katrina, the rival for Ryn's leadership, decides to gather support and make a power play. One of the mer-folk seeks revenge because her mother was killed by a human. Similarly, one of the fishermen seeks revenge because his father was killed by a mer-man.

    Maddie discovers her estranged mother Susan ( Garcelle Beauvais ) almost relapsed. She even went as far as to call her ex-dealer. Now Maddie and Rynn ( Eline Powell ) have to go retrieve her property.

    Ben the biologist investigates what the oil drillers are up to.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 6] Distress Call
    Shown 28th February 2019

    The ex-Sheriff has to clean up his womens' mess. Of course, this will bring him back into the law enforcement world.

    Katrina puts the fisherman in the boat's hold with the mer-man who killed his father. Will he take revenge?

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 7] Entrapment
    Shown 7th March 2019

    A body has been hauled out of the ocean by some fishermen. It turns out to be Sean, who got buried at sea in Season One. The Feds get called in to investigate, and they get the Sheriff to pull the entire crew.

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) takes the mer-folk for a walk in the woods. She discovers she has superhuman strength, when she saves a grown man single-handed from falling off a cliff. Also, they discover ancient cave-paintings of humans and mer-folk living in peace.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 8] Leverage
    Shown 14th March 2019

    The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) is corrupt, and has sold out the town to the oil company. He hosts an official reception where the company will spread its publicity. Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) attends, in order to keep tabs on new developments.

    Ben and the others take the opportunity to try and sabotage the sonic cannon. This will be exceedingly dangerous, and despite having mer-folk and SCUBA divers together they will take heavy losses if something goes wrong. The good news? The night before this deadly mission, Ben gets a three-way with Rynn ( Eline Powell ) and his girlfriend.

    For the sake of dramatic tension, all does not go well. This is left on a cliff-hanger ending, since this is the last episode before a mid-Season hiatus.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 9] No North Star
    Shown 13 Jun 19

    The biologists arrive at the fishing boat, an unspecified number of miles out at sea. It is easy to find because it is on fire.

    The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) has seen underwater security footage of the sabotage. He can guess as well as anyone about the cause.

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) returns to her friends in the human town. The military are also looking for her, in the hope that she will continue to participate in their research. Their plan is to use her stem-cells to cure paralysis. By incredible coincidence, the biologist's paralysed mother needs such a cure.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 10] All In
    Shown 20 Jun 19

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) and the fishing boat's crewman have been abducted. It seems that there is yet another faction who know about the existence of mermaids.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 11] Mixed Signals
    Shown 27 Jun 19

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) escapes from the biologists' protective custody. They have to hunt her down in the woods with dart-guns. She seems to be okay ... mostly. The biologists need an MRI scan to ensure they were not adversely affected by her song. They are working with the US Navy, to gather as much medical info as possible.

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) investigates the cause of her parents' death.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 12] Serenity
    Shown 27 Jun 19

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) brings a mermaid friend to help. The friend is a healer, but the problem is beyond her skills. The answer is to go to a secret part of the ocean, too deep for humans. Luckily the US Navy is willing to lend the biologists a deep-sea mini-sub.

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) visits the local newspaper's microfiche records section. She is still investigating her parents' deaths. The others do not trust her, especially with the journalist sniffing around.

    The bartender has a new customer - Levi, the merman who killed his father. This is a complicated situation on several levels.

    The biologists are happy to exploit the US Navy's help and technology, but are reluctant to hold up their end and share information. That said, they completely trust the female officer who previously came in undercover and spied on them. Will they turn against her if they discover she is still spying?

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 13] The Outpost
    Shown 11 Jul 19

    The journalist is still nosing around. He has tech support, and is always getting closer to the truth.

    The mermaids are about to enter their mating phase. This is important, because the species is in decline. Rynn ( Eline Powell ) and Levi are both in town, so they should hook up. Unfortunately the creepy cult of half-bloods want to abduct the mer-folk so they can conduct a mysterious ritual or something.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 14] The Last Mermaid
    Shown 18 Jul 19

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) and Levi try to get their mating done. Once it is over, they return to dry land.

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) discovers that someone has exhumed her parents' graves. Is it the creepy cult, who want to keep the mer-folk secret? Or is it the military, who also want to maintain secrecy but at least want to gather info for the good of humanity? Well, the military will end up weaponising everything but that is just a fact of life.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 15] Sacrifice
    Shown 25 Jul 19

    The biologist discovers the US military's secret. They have been trying to help Chris, a friend of the biologist who fell victim to the siren's song. The treatment seems to have been successful, although Chris still has terrible amnesia.

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) is not pregnant yet. The plan is to artificially inseminate her with a lab-grown embryo. First the cultists want tomake her part of one of their rituals. After all, the cultists have the resources to conduct the implantation so it is not necessary to trust the military. The cultists are about to have an attempted coup, and the journalist is still snooping around.

    Siren Siren [Season 2, Episode 16] New World Order
    Shown August 2019

    The biologist saves a journalist from drowning. Unfortunately the journalist has enough info on the mermaids that he can go ahead and publish an expose ... and he lacks any gratitude to his saviour.

    Two months in the future, the mermaids are a hunted minority. The military has developed tests to detect if a person has mer-folk DNA. Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) gets discovered, and sent to a concentration camp.

    The biologists try to smuggle Rynn ( Eline Powell ) to safety. He needs help from his father the Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) - but is the man trustworthy?

    The bartender and his fishing buddy get recruited as bounty hunters, and set out to catch some full-bloods in the ocean. They are not working for the US government, but for a private corporation. In this case it is an art collector, rather than someone seeking to weaponise the creatures.


    Season 3

    Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 1] Borders
    Shown 02 Apr 20

    A private flight from Russia to Seattle has a new stewardess - Tia ( Tiffany Lonsdale ). She is more than she seems, and her introduction is more shocking than that of Mandy in the very first episode of 24.

    In the aftermath of the previous Season, the military presence in the port has been downsized. The boss has reassigned the barman's ex-lover, and removed the biologist's security rating. Small wonder, if he found them to be untrustworthy.

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) dreams about Sarge. He may be dead, but he is still visiting her.

    Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 2] Revelations
    Shown 02 Apr 20

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) discovers Tia's plan. The good news is that Tia ( Tiffany Lonsdale ) wants to unite the warring Mermaid clans. The bad news is that her aim is a genocidal war to kill all humans. Shades of Aquaman here.

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) still obsesses about her dead friend Sarge. The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) joins her to research the boating accident that crippled his wife a decade ago.

    Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 3] Survivor
    Shown 09 Apr 20

    Rynn recovers from the injuries she sustained in the previous episode. This leads on to a training montage, as the other mermaids need brushing up on their combat skills too. Rynn's injuries are not her only problem - she has sympathetic pains from another mermaid's pregnancy.

    The male biologist's mother is also in a bad way. Without further stem cell treatment with mermaid blood, she will regress into her former state. Now, however, she has somehow developed the ability to breathe underwater. Not that she has grown gills or something, but that she has developed a greatly enhanced lung capacity. This seems to imply that the mermaids are the same, which makes no sense as they are fish rather than mammals.

    The female biologist continues her friendship with the guy she met in the previous episode. He is still clearly interested in a relationship with her, even though she is still technically with the male biologist. Anyway, the biologists seem to be on a break of sorts. This might be an attempt to break up the three-way relationship so that Rynn and the male biologist can be monogamous.

    Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 4] Life and Death
    Shown 16 Apr 20

    Xander the trainee cop cleans up the mess from the previous episode. Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) helps out, and makes excuses for the killer instinct the mermaids show. They take the body to the cultists, who conduct a traditional outdoors cremation pyre. It gets compared to a Viking funeral, but it is more like a Jedi one.

    The baby is born, but is not well suited to life on land. Rynn takes it to the ocean, in the hope that seawater will save it.

    Xander continues his training as a police cadet. Specifically he wants to be part of the Water Patrol. Yes, since the military has discontinued operations in the area it seems the only ones who can defend the coast in the coming war are cops in speedboats. This is one step above the average storyline in Baywatch.

    Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 5] Mommy and Me
    Shown 23 Apr 20

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) tries to get used to her new role as a mother. It turns out that the merfolk have a different tradition. Their children are not raised by their mothers, but instead are taken by the males and raised as warriors - regardless of gender.

    The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) goes to the Sheriff for advice, but for whatever reason the Sheriff is still unavailable. The only one to turn to is Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ).

    Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 6] The Island
    Shown 30 Apr 20

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) goes in search of the rest of her tribe. When Tia attacked them, some were killed and the survivors hit out on an island. Now Rynn needs Ben and Xander to help rescue them before Tia and her minions track them down.

    Maddie's man buddy Robb found the dead mermaid in Ben's freezer. Somehow the corpse is stinky, even though it is frozen like an icicle. Robb the man buddy jumps to the conclusion that it is a mermaid. Maddie tries to cover up for Ben, but she is smart enough to keep her lies close to the truth.

    The Mayor (David Cubitt - Medium ) is also poking around for answers about his family history. Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) did not give him the answers he needs, so he goes looking elsewhere.

    Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 7] Northern Exposure
    Shown 07 May 20

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) goes in search of allies for her tribe. On the north coast of Alaska is a remote tribe who are fierce warriors. Unfortunately their breeding system is messed up, since their males are all dead or gone and they have no way of replacing them.

    It turns out that the fish-people can change gender, but the seawater is so filled with oestrogen that they are stuck in the default female position. Rynn's human friends must purify the seawater so that the local tribe can transition.

    Maddy has to deal with a couple of revelations. Not only is her new love interest trans-species, he was born female and is trans-gender too. Will she forgive him for not burdening her with every little detail of his life?

    Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 8] 'Til Death Do Us Part
    Shown 14 May 20

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) and Ben are having passionate sex these days. They work together as a team, in an attempt to recover the sonic device from the previous Season. But is the mermaid juice he has been injecting himself with doing him any damage?

    Tia ( Tiffany Lonsdale ) discovers the Russians have weaponised her siren song, and used it against civilians in Ukraine. She travels to Moscow and burns her few remaining bridges there.

    Miss Hawkins ( Rena Owen ) is haunted by the ghosts of some dead mermaids. One of them wants her bones retrieved from the US Navy, so that they can have a Viking funeral. Luckily the trainee cop is invited to the Navy base, and they are boxing up their gear to move out. Can her secretly walk off with their mermaid skeleton?

    Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 9] A Voice in the Dark
    Shown 21 May 20

    Tia ( Tiffany Lonsdale ) has stolen the weaponised siren song from the Russians. She has sent it by mobile phone, like in the movie Cell (2016) . Only Xander the trainee cop picked up, and now he is in hospital with severe brain damage. Luckily the mermaid healer can cure him.

    Rynn ( Eline Powell ) is reunited with her daughter. The baby is now a toddler, and has killed her first conger eel. Now it is the mother's turn to teach the child, and the first lesson is how to make the siren song.

    Siren Siren [Season 3, Episode 10] The Toll of the Sea
    Shown 28 May 20

    This episode ties up a lot of loose ends. The renegade mermaids have made their threat public, and the human governments are expected to blame each other.

    The good mermaids attack the bad ones. Rynn ( Eline Powell ) and Tia ( Tiffany Lonsdale ) have their climactic battle. All a bit of an anti-climax, really.

    Other loose ends are tied up too. Maddie's father, the Sheriff, has not been seen the entire Season. Now Xander discovers what happened to him. Luckily Xander is a trainee cop, so he can fill in for the older man in future Seasons.