ORBzine - Action Movie Parodies Movie Reviews

TITLE & REVIEW

Bounty Hunter (2010)

Bounty Hunter (2010)

  • 2000
  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Carry On Spying (1964)

    Carry On Spying (1964) This is a British film from the 1960s, although it looks older because it was shot in black and white. Unlike the Bond movies it parodies, which were shot in full colour. It starts with a milkman (a reference to the former occupation of Sean Connery) who makes a doorstep delivery to a secret government lab.

    British Intelligence has other problems. The office weasel, Simpkins (Kenneth Williams - ), is put in charge of trainee agents Crump (Bernard Cribbins - She (1965) ), Honeybutt ( Barbara Windsor ) and Bind (Charles Hawtrey - ). Since the Secret Service is over-extended, the trainees are sent to retrieve a secret formula that the villains stole. In a parody of SPECTRE from the James Bond novels, the villains are STENCH - the Society for Total Extinction of Non-Conforming Humans.

    The team get sent to Vienna, which has been rebuilt in the twenty years since The Third Man. This is the one bit which justifies the use of black and white film, because it allows multiple references to that movie.

    The team meets up with Carstairs (Jim Dale - The Spaceman And King Arthur ), a hyper-competent agent who is the Bond figure of the story. Rather than help him, their constant bumbling interrupts every one of his plans. In all fairness, Carstairs is not a team player and he could at least tell them in advance that they should stay out of his way. In contrast, the trainees actually work very well as a team.

    Simpkins gives a speech about how the Secret Service regards all recruits as being men, thus giving equality regardless of gender identity choice. That said, once they get to Algiers he tries to sideline Honeybutt for her own protection. Naturally she turns out to be a very competent agent. Crump insists on accompanying her, because of his over-protectiveness. Just as well, because a comedy like this requires an incompetent character (usually male) to be the butt of jokes and slapstick humour. There is also a mild issue of cultural appropriation, when Crump disguises himself as an Arab snake-charmer and then as a belly-dancer. Yes, it turns out that this cheap comedy that makes jokes about sex trafficking was not actually shot on location in a distant Third World country.

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Dragnet (1988)

    Dragnet (1988) Joe Friday (Dan Ackroyd - Ghostbusters ) is a straight-edged by-the-book cop with a 1950s work ethic (and dress sense). He gets a new partner, Pep Streebeck (Tom Hanks - Forrest Gump ) - a young 1980s-style cop.

    Their first case together is to retrieve property that has been stolen from Jerry Caesar (Dabney Coleman - The Invaders ). He is a seedy parody of High Hefner. The stolen property is a month's print run of Bait magazine, which is the movie's version of Playboy. The theft was committed by a group named PAGAN – which stands for People Against Goodness And Normality. Since Joe Friday is the champion of goodness and normality, it is obvious which side he will take.

    The cops infiltrate a PAGAN gathering. The High Priest wants to conduct a human sacrifice by feeding The Virgin Connie Swails ( Alexandra Paul ) to a giant snake – like in Conan The Barbarian .

    Local politicians are involved in the conspiracy. Chief among them is the leader of the Religious Right - Reverend Curley (Christopher Plummer - Starcrash ).

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Grimsby

    Grimsby MI6 Secret Agent Mark Strong ( Stardust ) is a one-man Special Forces unit, singlehandedly fighting a terrorist conspiracy. Unfortunately he ends up disavowed - like in all the Mission Impossible films. The MI6 boss (Ian McShane - Hercules (2015) ) sends Strong's predecessor after him. This hit-man does not do it single-handed, and has a whole SWAT team of heavily-armed goons to help. Luckily, the office Moneypenny type ( Isla Fisher ) is willing to send Strong a few updates.

    The Secret Agent has to team up with his long-lost brother Nobby (Sasha Baron Cohen - Sweeney Todd ), a chav who is shacked up with Rebel Wilson in the post-Industrial town of Grimsby.

    Nobby must become a secret agent himself, but predictably makes a mess of things and accidentally seduces Precious from American Horror Story: Coven .

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Grosse Point Blank (1997)

    Grosse Point Blank (1997) Martin Blank (John Cusack - Hot Tub Time Machine ) lives a happy middle-class life as a small businessman. He has a secretary ( Joan Cusack ), sees a psychiatrist (Alan Arkin - ) and his only worry is a business rivalry with Mr Grocer (Dan Ackroyd - Ghostbusters (1984) ). The key fact is that Martin is an ex-CIA assassin who now works as a freelance hit-man for the highest bidder.

    Martin gets talked into attending his High School Reunion, tempted by the thought of seeing his former girlfriend Debi ( Minnie Driver ), and his old buddies Paul (Jeremy Piven - ) and Bob (Michael Cudlitz - The Walking Dead ).

    Unfortunately Martin gets tailed by a couple of Federal Agents, Lardner (Hank Azaria - Godzilla (1998) ) and McCullers (K. Todd Freeman - Buffy: Season 3 ). Also, a hitman named Felix (Benny Urdiquez - ) is out for Martin's blood.

    When it came out in 1997, this was one of the best films of the year. However, it has faded quite a lot in the mean time. The story is simplistic, the humour is subtle, it is all quite understated. The result is that what was once thrilling and original is now nothing more than a mildly entertaining comedy-thriller.

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Italian Job, The (1969)

    Italian Job, The (1969) This is a classic British comedy-thriller written by Troy Kennedy Martin , who later did the similarly-themed Kelly's Heroes.

    Charlie Croker (Michael Caine - Dressed To Kill ) is gifted a plan to steal a cargo of gold bullion. With the sponsorship of Mr Bridger (Noel Coward - ) he hires a team of crooks that includes Yellow (Robert Powell - Jesus of Nazareth ) and Big William (Harry Baird - UFO ). They even recruit a computer expert named Professor Peach (Benny Hill - ).

    After a brief encounter with the Mafia, the story moves to Italy. Croker's plan, inherited from a friend who was murdered by the Mafia, is to hijack a shipment of gold in the city of Turin. Although there is spectacular location footage from Italy, the traffic centre's interior scenes were obviously shot in a studio in England since they feature the familiar face of Louis Mansfield - better known as Von Smallhausen in Allo, Allo.

    The third act of the film is what is perhaps the most classic car chase of all time. Our heroes must take three mini-coopers - patriotically painted in red, white and blue - through a traffic jam in the centre of Turin. The Italian police are in hot pursuit, in a Keystone Kops routine.

    To add an element of real jeopardy, the British crooks still have to contend with the Italian mafia. However, this plotline is never concluded because of the literal cliffhanger ending. It would have made for a great sequel.

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Johnny English (2003)

    Johnny English (2003) Someone steals the British Crown Jewels. The British Secret Service calls in their best man, Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson - Never Say Never Again ).

    Our hero's investigation is dogged by a mysterious femme fatale ( Natalie Imbruglia ). The clues lead him to a creepy billionaire (John Malkovich - HHGTTG (2005) ).

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Johnny English Reborn (2011)

    Johnny English Reborn (2011) Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson - Never Say Never Again ) is surprisingly competent, just very unlucky. He investigates an evil conspiracy of assassins, who use a Chinese cleaning lady to bump off witnesses. His Boss ( Gillian Anderson ) and co-worker (Dominic West - The Awakening ) do not have much faith in his abilities. Luckily Bond girl Rosamund Pike does ...

    The movie plays more like a UK version of Steve Carrell’s Get Smart than the previous film. Pity there is no Anne Hathaway in this one, though.

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Johnny English Strikes Again (2018)

    Johnny English Strikes Again (2018)

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Keeping Up With The Joneses

    Keeping Up With The Joneses Zach Galifrianis ( Tru Calling ) and Isla Fisher are a married-with-kids couple living in suburbia. No sooner have the kids gone away for summer camp than new neighbours move in next door. They are the Joneses - Gal Godot and John Hamm ( Baby Driver ).

    Isla is suspicious of the new neighbours. They are too glamourous and competent for suburbia. It turns out that she is right, and they are not what they seem.

    Most people in the suburb work in the same company as Zach - a military contractor doing top-secret work. It turns out that someone is leaking info to an arms dealer named The Scorpion (Patton Oswalt - Agents of SHIELD ). The suburban couple must go undercover as glamourous secret agents in order to catch the villain and save the day.

    For a comedy, this film has quite a body-count. The so-called heroes think nothing of shooting up an entire floor of a Las Vegas hotel. The movie may have been made a few years before the 2017 massacre, but it still seems to be in quite poor taste. Also, ironic for a movie containing the new Wonder Woman but the most breath-taking woman in it is actually the comedic one.

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    MacGruber

    MacGruber A Supervillain (Val Kilmer - Willow ) steals a Russian rocket equipped with a nuclear warhead - a more compact version of the Scud featured in Spies Like Us .

    Colonel Trautman (Powers Boothe - Agents of SHIELD: S3 ) goes to a Buddist Monastery (in Latin America) and recruits his best man - MacGruber. Once he is back, Mac gets a couple of sidekicks - Ryan Phillipe ( Way Of The Gun ) and Kristen Wiig .

    This is a parody not just of the TV show MacGuyver, but of 1980s action movies in general. For example, his signature move is the throat rip from Road House.

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Mindhorn

    Mindhorn Richard Thorncroft (Julian Barratt - A Field In England ) is an actor who was famous for starring in a UK TV show in 1989. He played the title character in a show named Mindhorn, which is a mish-mash of 1970s/80s series. A Secret Agent was in a plane crash (like in The Champions ), got a bionic eye (a la Six Million Dollar Man ) and became a detective in a small British island's police department (Bergerac).

    Now, three decades later, Thorncroft is a has-been. Luckily for him, a mentally ill murder suspect named Paul Melly (Russell Tovey - Being Human ) believes the show is real. More specifically, the lucky break is that the local police request Thorncroft help them catch the killer.

    Thorncroft is teamed up with Detective Constable Baines ( Andrea Riseborough ). However, this is not a parody of Forever and all the other mainstream cop shows these days. Instead we see Thorncroft reluctantly reunite with former co-stars. The result is a slapstick comedy-thriller that might be considered a missed opportunity. There is so much more that could be done with this concept. Hopefully there will be a sequel. Perhaps even a spin-off TV show, like Garth Marenghi's Darkplace .

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    The Other Guys (2010)

    The Other Guys (2010) Highsmith (Samuel L Jackson - Snakes On A Plane ) and Danson (Dwayne Johnson - Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle ) are a pair of NYPD detectives who take out a gang of gun-toting Rastas in a chase scene that parodies straight-up action movies like Bad Boys , at least before that franchise parodied itself with Bad Boys 2 . unfortunately, they end up getting taken in by their own sense of invulnerability.

    NYPD Captain Michael Keaton ( Birdman ) appoints a couple of replacements - Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg - The Happening ) and Gamble (Will Ferrell - Land Of The Lost ). They are pretty much the opposite, a mis-matched pair of very flawed characters. Hoitz is a parody of the usual sqaure-jawed cops that Wahlberg often plays, while Ferrell is a desk-jockey with a secret past.

    The case leads back to a corrupt financier, David Ershon (Steve Coogan - Mindhorn ). Our heroes must get him out of the grasp of security man Roger Westerly (Ray Stevenson - Punisher: War Zone ).

    The comedy element is not simply parody of the police genre. There is a lot of more straight-up humour from Farrell. For example, he is irresistable to beautiful women like his wife Sheila ( Eva Mendes )!

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    The Pacifier

    The Pacifier This is a star vehicle for Vin Diesel ( Pitch Black ), back in the days when he liked to think he had artistic integrity. You know, when he refused to do sequels and instead spent his time on projects that stretched his talent. This is his first and only comedy project to date.

    Our hero is a US Navy SEAL, leader of a small team sent to rescue a kidnapped scientist.

    Months later, when he has recovered from his injuries, he is reassigned to provide security for the scientist's family. He also has to help them out with their personal problems. The eldest boy (Max Theriot - House At The End Of The Street ) is being bullied at school. The eldest girl ( Brittany Snow ) has a boyfriend (Kyle Schmid - Blood Ties ). Our hero even gets himself a love interest - the school Principal ( Lauren Graham ).

    In the third act, they must work together to save the scientist's secrets from enemy spies.

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    This Means War (2012)

    This Means War (2012) Chris Pine ( Wonder Woman (2017) ) and Tom Hardy ( Dark Knight Rises (2011) ) hang out at a swanky VIP party, like supporting actors from DCEU blockbuster movies. Laura Vandervoort is there too, best known to DC fans for her Supergirl work. The men are secret agents working for the CIA, and despite being ordered to stay undercover they get involved in a massive shoot-out. Well, this was directed by McG . One of the suspects is killed, and his brother (Til Schweiger - ) swears vengeance.

    Back in the USA, Reese Witherspoon is jealous of her ex-boyfriend (Warren Christie - Alphas ). She has not gotten a new boyfriend yet, so her best friend ( Chelsea Handler ) sets up an online dating profile for her. Hardy's ex-wife ( Abigail Spencer ) has custody of their son, so he starts on-line dating too. Naturally, he and Witherspoon hit it off. Pine also bumps into Witherspoon, and pursues her until she agrees to date him.

    The thriller storyline becomes a subplot. Their boss ( Angela Bassett ) pops up briefly to remind them they have a job to do, but they have other things on their minds.

    Along with the online dating comes online stalking. The Special Agents take advantage of their Top Secret security clearance and run illicit background checks on her. Hardy actually points out that this is creepy as opposed to romantic, but Pine coins the phrase Cr-omantic as a joke. When they discover they are both dating the same woman, they forget about her feelings and just get incredibly competitive.

    The contest is reminiscent of True Lies . Rather than just mis-use expensived government technology, the competitiveness means they actively destroy the tech in order to disadvantage each other. One of the minions points out there may be constitutional issues, but the boss just points out the Patriot Act.

    The disregard for safety is blatant. Hardy even goes paintballing without safety goggles.

    Finally the terrorists make are-appearance for the climactic car chase. But the real climax of the story is when Witherspoon makes her choice.

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    You Don't Mess With The Zohan

    You Don't Mess With The Zohan Zohan Dvir (Adam Sandler - Little Nicky ) is the best soldier in the Israeli Special Forces. His ability to do wire-fu stunts is clearly a superhuman ability. The only one who can match him is his arch-enemy, the Phantom (John Turturo - Transformers ). And as a result, Zohan is sent off on a mission to hunt down the Phantom.

    Zohan fakes his death, and moves to New York City under a fake identity. His dream is to be a world-class hair stylist. Unfortunately the American stylists do not have much faith in his abilities. Luckily Palestinian barber's shop owner Emanuelle Chiqui does ...

    Unfortunately, the Zohan has not escaped his past. Not only is New York the largest Jewish city on Earth, but it also has a large population of Arabs. As the movie points out, there is a tradition for the city to play home to refugees and migrants who want to chase the American Dream of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. One of them (Rob Schneider - Judge Dredd ) recognises Zohan. Worse, the Phantom himself has also retired to New York - to follow his own dream, cooking in a kebab shop.

    This is a parody of action movies, but as a modern-day comedy it needs a happy ending. So the super-powered antagonists discover they have a lot in common, and end up working together against a common foe.

    Despite the problematic nature of the subject - the Israeli/Palestinian conflict is central to the storyline - the only real issue the media found controversial was White-washing. Few if any of the actors in this are actually Israeli or Palestinian!

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Zoolander

    Zoolander Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller - Tropic Thunder ) is the world's top male model. All he has to worry about is his rival, Hansel (Owen Wilson - ).

    Zoolander stumbles into a plot by top fashion designer Mugatu (Will Ferrell - Land of the Lost ). Mugatu orders his henchwoman ( Milla Jovovich ) to take care of the problem.

    This film was released shortly after the destruction of the World Trade Centre in New York City, 2001. As a result, shots of the NYC skyline had to be digitally altered to remove the WTC.

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Zoolander 2

    Zoolander 2 Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller - Tropic Thunder ) and his former rival, Hansel (Owen Wilson - ), are brought out of retirement by Billy Zane ( Titanic ).

  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK

    Soon

    Soon

  • 2000
  • Search This Site
  • paypal
    NTSC - USA

    Francais

    Deutschland

    PAL - UK