ORBzine - C21st Horror Remakes Movie Reviews

TITLE & REVIEW

Beguiled, The (2017)

Beguiled, The (2017) During the US Civil War, a Union deserter (Colin Farrell - Minority Report ) finds himself at a Girls Boarding School in Dixie-land. As the only man around, is falls victim to a tug-of war between the Headmistress ( Nicole Kidman ), the teacher ( Kirsten Dunst ) and the head girl ( Elle Fanning ).

Sophia Coppola delivers a remake of the 1970s film. The one major change is that, unlike the original, there are no African-American characters. After all, Coppola wanted to tell the story of a battle of the sexes, not a race-war. The Keeping Room covers similar themes, although not as well.

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Blair Witch (2016)

Blair Witch (2016) This is a sequel to the 1999 effort, and ignores the second film. The title is pared down, the same way that the recent revivals of the John Rambo, Rocky Balboa and Jason Bourne franchises were all simply named after the main character. It is structurally more of a remake, and seems to be the kind of film that the original film-makers wanted to make if only they had the budget to do so. It was filmed in British Columbia instead of Maryland, and features a lot more visual effects than the other films.

The brother of Heather from the original film goes looking for her. He takes his best friend (a token black guy) and their girlfriends. They team up with a local video-blogger (who also has a girlfriend to keep him company).

Things go well for everyone at the start, although the Lewton Bus (in the form of cuts between scenes) is overrused. The victims cannot find the Cabin in the Woods , so they decide to camp out for the night. This is when things get really creepy, although this is nothing that we have not seen before in a dozen low-budget horror films. Unlike the low-budget original there is a lot of CGI special effects, proof that the film-makers have decided to rely on a budget rather than actually make an original film.

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Blood Feast (2016)

Blood Feast (2016)

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Brain That Wouldn't Die, The (2020)

Brain That Wouldn't Die, The (2020)

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Children Of The Corn (2009)

Children Of The Corn (2009) In the heart of MidWest USA, a bible-basher holds a service. The prophet is a ten-year-old boy, and he advocates human sacrifice.

A dozen years later a vietnam veteran (David Anders - iZombie ) and his wife ( Kandsye McClure ) get lost driving through the area. Well, it is nice to see the pairing of two of the Canadian TV industry's most prolific supporting actors.

The couple are all lovey-dovey at first, until they encounter a suspicious event on the outskirts of town. By the time they get to the centre of town, they are bickering like a standard movie couple from the 1980s.

At the story's midpoint, suspense is thrown to the wind. The children are out to kill the grown-ups, and Anders gets chased through the corn-fields. Of course, he is a vietnam veteran being pursued by small children - so the result is far more ridiculous than the Ewok battle in Return of the Jedi .

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Child's Play (2019)

Child's Play (2019) This version of the story starts with an infomercial of Henry Kaslan (Tim Matheson - Her Magical Christmas (2017) ) advertising the Kaslan corporation's new Buddi doll, an interactive robot designed for children. It has an AI system, tied into the domestic wifi network like a walking Siri. Despite being a high-end electronic consumer product, it is built in Asia by sweatshop labourers. One of the disgruntled employees sabotages one of the robot dolls by disabling all the safety protocols. Yes, instead of hard-wiring it with Asimov's Three Laws the designers create a user-friendly English-language menu that makes safety features optional.

In a low-end store in the USA, a disgruntled female employee ( Aubrey Plaza ) takes a damaged Buddi doll home for her young son Andy. Well, she is a busy single mother so she has limited time and money to spend on her nearest and dearest.

Andy quickly discovers that his doll, Chucky (Mark Hamill - Star Wars: ANH ) is not like the others. It is eager to learn, and very devoted to him. The good news is that it helps him make some friends. The girl lampshades it by pointing out that this is how every robot apocalypse movie begins.

Just like in Small Soldiers , it seems that the AI in the children's toy learns and adapts faster when their safety protocols are removed. The kids, under the age of fifteen, watch age-inapropriate films like Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 . This is an underrated movie, but Chucky's take on it is not about the performance of Dennis Hopper. Instead, while Chucky believes in friendship he is willing to use murder to achieve his goals.

Chucky has been updated from just a regular slasher. Now, with his wifi connections, he can control CCTV and driverless cars. He can even control an army of other Buddi dolls. Luckily, the token girl is tough enough to take them on with a hedge-trimmer.

One of Andy's neighbours is Mike (Brian Tyree Henry - Godzilla Vs Kong (2021) ), a police detective. Will he solve the mystery in time, or just end up a sacrificial lamb like every horror movie cop since Play Misty For Me ?

  • Chucky Franchise
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    The Crow (2024)

    The Crow (2024)

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    Dark Shadows (2012)

    Dark Shadows (2012) Before the American War of Independence, an English merchant family named Collins settled in Maine. Unfortunately young Barnabas (Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ) jilted servant girl Eva Green … who used her witch powers to curse the entire family. She turned him into a vampire, and imprisoned him …

    In 1972, Barnabas gets dug up. He rejoins the family, who are an all-star cast of misfits and psychos. But he must rebuild the family's fish-canning business - and defeat their rivals, run by the witch who cursed him.

    The result is hit-and-miss. Certain aspects seem tacked-on, pushed in as homages to the original TV show. Depp is great, as ever - but if you have seen him in his previous Tim Burton Films then there is nothing new here. And Eva Green has done the evil sorceress bit before as Morgana in Camelot - so we have seen it all before.

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    Day The World Ended, The (2001)

    Day The World Ended, The (2001)

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    Don't Look Up (2009)

    Don't Look Up (2009) A Director is hired to do a remake a lost classic horror movie. The original director in the flashback scene is Eli Roth , who is recognisable because he also had a cameo in Tarantino's Deathproof

    This is itself a remake of a Japanese film, so it has the J-Horror supernatural suspense feel rather than the Americanised gore and jump-scare tactics.

    Elena Satine helps round out the cast.

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    Evil Dead (2013)

    Evil Dead (2013) Five youngsters in their twenties all go to a spooky cabin in the woods. The intervention is to help their friend Mia ( Jane Levy ) go cold turkey. She may look familiar, but she is barely recognisable as Tessa in Suburgatory. All she had to do was straighten and darken her hair in order to look her real age, instead of playing someone ten years younger.

    This film has a number of obstacles to overcome. Not only is this named after the classic Sam Raimi horror movie, it also uses most of the cliches in Cabin in the Woods . But unlike those two excellent films, this one is played straight, as an all-out horror film with no humour.

    There are a handful of references to the original film, and good use of certain genre tropes.

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    Blumhouse's Fantasy Island (2019)

    Blumhouse's Fantasy Island (2019) This is an adaptation of a light-hearted 1970s TV show. Normally the shows chosen for adaptation are of a more dramatic nature, and the modern-day adaptations are played for laughs. Finally this is something the other way around ... a comedy which is given a horror movie make-over!

    The pre-credits sequence sets the tone for the whole film. We get some Fem-Jep, as a female in jeopardy is pursued by unknown people. We also learn that Mr Roarke (Michael Pena - Ant-Man ) is a bit more sinister than in previous versions of the story.

    The main storyline starts when a new plane arrives at the island, with guests including Melanie Cole ( Lucy Hale ), Gwen Olsen ( Maggie Q ) and JD Weaver (Ryan Hansen - Veronica Mars ). Mr Roarke introduces each to their individualised fantasy, but the condition is that they have to play the fantasy through until the end.

    Melanie's fantasy is revenge. She works out a lot more quickly than the others that it is more real than they expected. This sets the tone for the whole story.

    The other fantasies turn unexpectedly violent. It is natural for the military one to involve combat, but the one about wealth becomes a gangster story! Yes, they all take a dark twist.

    Damon (Michael Rooker - The Walking Dead ) is lurking in the woods, ready to provide exposition. What nobody actually says out loud is that if you die in a Fantasy, you die in real life!

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    Flatliners (2017)

    Flatliners (2017) This is a needless remake of the 1992 Brat Pack effort. Kiefer Sutherland ( Lost Boys ) has a cameo as one of the teachers, so at least it is acknowledging the original.

    Courtney ( Ellen Page ), Marlo ( Nina Dobrev ) and Sophia ( Kiersey Clemons ) are medical students. They get a cheap thrill by flatlining themselves, which seems to be safe as long as they can revive each other. Unfortunately their own sense of guilt unleashes something terrible in their subconscousness.

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    The Fog (2006)

    The Fog (2006) Tom Wellings ( Smallville ) and Maggie Grace live in a small fishing port in the USA. On the anniversary of a famous shipwreck, they come under attack from ghosts of the victims.

    Was the remake of Halloween worth watching? Or Assault on Precinct 13? Disk Jockey Selma Blair is a poor replacement for the original ( Adrienne Barbeau ), and the rest of the movie is similarly disappointing.

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    Freaky (2020) AKA Freaky Friday the Thirteenth

    Freaky (2020) AKA Freaky Friday the Thirteenth This starts in the manner of all good slasher movies. A group of tweenagers share a campfire story, which provides the necessary mood and exposition. Every year, on the night of the High School's Homecoming Dance, a mysterious murderer goes on a killing spree. Once the audience know what to expect, the slasher killer (Vince Vaughn - Psycho (1998) ) appears and slaughters the tweenagers - Jason Voorhees style. He only pauses long enough to steal a couple of native artefacts; a wooden mask that is clearly a reference to Jason's ice-hockey mask, and a magical dagger.

    The next night, the killer attacks the High School's mascot ( ). Luckily, he uses the magical knife - which swaps their minds from one body to another. The killer wakes up in the teenage girl's body, while the mascot finds herself trapped inside the killer. This leads on to the usual Freaky Friday stuff, which is played for laughs when the story is told from the girl's perspective.

    The killer takes advantage of the new body he is in. Like the Rob Schneider character in The Hot Chick , he sexualises it in a way that is cinematic. However, while Schneider's character was a petty thief this one is a spree killer, so he plans to lure all the kids to a trap at Homecoming ... on Friday The Thirteenth .

    The opening sequence, a straight-up homage to the Voorhees films, is pretty much the best bit. The other kill scenes are typical of modern slashers, which favour male victims over female ones. Since millennials seem to think that portrayal is endorsement, the killer wipes out anyone the audience thinks is immoral. This basically means the modern slasher movie is a medieval morality play, although unlike the 1970s rule of sex-means-death the 2020 morality is specifically against sexually predatory behaviour.

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    Funny Games (2007)

    Funny Games (2007)

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    Green Inferno, The (2013)

    Green Inferno, The (2013) A young American college fresh-woman becomes a Social Justice Warrior. She wants to fight female genital mutilation by creating cultural imperialism over African people and Muslims. But first, she teams up with some activists who plan to visit South America and save a remote untouched tribe of natives from some construction engineers and a gun-toting militia.

    The activists fly out to Peru, although this was filmed in Chile. Their team includes Daryl Sabara ( Spy Kids ) and Magda Apanowicz . The plan is to live-stream the protest online, and get public pressure to halt the development To get close enough to the construction site, they have to disguise themselves by wearing the same jump-suits as the bad guys.

    The protest is an apparent success. However, the team's journey home is on a flimsy light aircraft. The engine explodes, either due to poor maintenance or deliberate sabotage by the embittered cops and construction workers. This leaves the survivors stranded deep in the inhospitable jungle, dressed like the villains and surrounded by hostile natives.

    This is a remake of the 1970s exploitation movie Cannibal Holocaust . However, to avoid allegations of racism the film-makers have made the SJW cause the sympathetic one and tried to make it look like the natives are only defending their home. That said, it is hard to make it look like self defence when the natives dismember a living victim for a cannibalistic ceremony.

    The Final Girl is a virgin, so the natives decide to make her one of the tribe. That is good, because it means she is no longer on the dinner menu. However, they will have to give her female genital mutilation as part of the induction rites. As all her friends suffer increasingly more horrendous fates, she still acts as if this is worse than death.

    The team try to escape while the natives are high on drugs. But they do not think to ask themselves, what happens when cannibals get the munchies?

    Will the Final Girl destroy the natives' culture, based as it is on cannibalism and female genital mutilation, or will she follow on the team's original mission of protecting them?

    The end credits include a couple of memorable items. Firstly the actors' twitter addresses are listed beside their names. Secondly, there is a mid-credits sequence which underlines one of the plot threads which were left dangling.

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    Hard Ride to Hell (2010)

    Hard Ride to Hell (2010) A group of twenty-something Canadians go on a road trip in Texas. They include Katherine Isabelle , Laura Mennell (AKA Nina from Alphas ) and the Token Black Guy from Being Erica (season 3) .

    The scooby gang witness a human sacrifice, and get chased by the Satanic cult. Yes, this is just a remake of classic 1970s car-chase effort Race the Devil . This time the villains are a cannibalistic biker gang, led by one-eyed High Priest Miguel Ferrer ( Robocop ).

    Luckily, a travelling salesman (Brent Stait - Andromeda ) is in the area. He sells knives for a living, and since he is former Special Forces he knows how to use them!

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    Hide And Seek (2021)

    Hide And Seek (2021) This is a remake of a Korean movie. As a result, there are aspects which seem out of place. That said, there is also some great aerial photography which really shows off the streets of New York City.

    The story starts in a decrepit apartment block in a slum area of Brooklyn, NYC. One of the residents there is targeted by a mysterious killer whose identity is concealed by a tinted motorbike helmet.

    The main protagonist ( ), a rich man who has inherited his father's business, has his security man (Joe Pantoliano - The Matrix ) look for his estranged brother. The missing brother turns out to be one of the residents of the slum block. When the protagonist investigates personally, he and his family get stalked by a stranger in a tinted motorbike helmet.

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    I Married A Monster (1998)

    I Married A Monster (1998) This is a 1998 made-for-TV effort based a classic 1950s B-Movie genre, including I Married A Communist and I Married A Monster From Outer Space . The problem with the give-away means there is no mystery - we know who and what the antagonist is. The only suspense comes from wondering how the protagonist will succeed. However, it also avoids Genre Shift like in Jeepers Creepers when the film genre changes from crime/suspense to supernatural/horror. Is there not a happy midpoint somewhere? After all, Rosemary's Baby managed to maintain a level of suspense without ruining the supernatural aspect.

    Susan Walters is happily married to an average American guy (Richard Burgi - Hostel 2 ). However, one day he seems like a totally different person. He converts his group of friends, and they turn into boring tee-total Stepford Husbands. It turns out that alien shapeshifters have an intolerance of alcohol. They can be detected by dogs, just like a Terminator . Also, they short-circuit and drown in water - a major problem if you are invading a world where most of the surface is covered in H2O! This is not a new problem for aliens - the Newcomers in Alien Nation were vulnerable to salt-water, and the invaders in Signs had a similar problem. It is even worse in this film - even OXYGEN is toxic to the aliens!

    The protagonist is only a housewife, with no special combat skills. Despite the fact that she is defenceless, the aliens ignore numerous opportunities to make her disappear. This is regardless of the fact that numerous MALE interlopers are killed or converted. They want her for breeding stock to create a half-breed, like in The Astronaut's Wife .

    Town Doctor Richard Herd ( V ) gets together a posse of the town's drunken rednecks, the only ones immune to alien possession. This may have inspired the movie Grabbers , where alcoholic (Northern) Irish folk avert an alien invasion.

    The aliens' OTHER main flaw is that they are telepathically linked to the humans they are impersonating. The humans are held prisoner on the ship, so when each human is rescued the alien duplicate dies.

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    Knock Knock (2015)

    Knock Knock (2015)

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    Last House On The Left (2009)

    Last House On The Left (2009) Krug the thug (Garret Dillahunt - Sarah Connor Chronicles ) gets busted out of police custody by his brother Francis (Aaron Paul - Westworld: S3 ) and girlfriend Sadie ( Riki Lindhome ).

    Doctor John (Tony Goldwyn - ) takes his family for a summer vacation in a Cabin in the Woods . He and his wife Emma ( Monica Potter ) stay in the cabin, while daughter Mari ( Sara Paxton ) goes into town. Unfortunately Mari gets sidetracked when she meets Justin (Spencer Treat Clark - Agents of Shield ). Worse, she and her friend fall foul of Krug and his gang.

    That night, Krug and his gang visit the Doctor's cabin. Their car crashed, and they need medical assistance. Worse, it is a rainstorm so they need to spend the night. Finally, not only does the remoteness mean poor cell-phone reception but a lighting-strike from the thunder-storm takes out the landline phone and electricity. Yes, they are reduced to the same level of technology as the characters in the original medieval morality tale.

    Ironically, it is not the Doctor's family that has to fear Krug's ... but rather, it is the other way around. The violence that the villains inflicted on their innocent victims in the first half of the story is perfect justification for the violent murders that Mari's family inflict on her abusers.

    This is a remake of a classic 1970s rape-and-revenge effort. At least they kept the original writer/director, Wes Craven , on as a Producer.

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    Maniac (2012)

    Maniac (2012) A serial killer is on the loose in downtown Los Angeles. He scalps women, and stitches their hair onto mannequins so he can act out his fantasies with them. All pretty standard stuff for the genre, but a couple of things set this apart from the typical slasher.

    Firstly there is the professionalism of the film-makers. Most slasher flicks are low-budget schlock with a straight-to-video cast. This has great camera-work and a recognisable star - Elijah Woods (Frodo in Lord of the Rings ). Also, the gory special effects are excellent.

    Secondly there is the method of storytelling. The camera-work is mostly first-person, and most of the times we see Frodo is when he catches his own reflection. The result is like something out of an Italian Giallo by someone like Dario Argento , with one strange twist. Even a standard Giallo only gives the occasional scene from the killer’s perspective, while this effort tells the entire film through Frodo’s eyes!

    All in all, this harks back to the 1970s era - before the tropes started by Halloween became mainstream. It plays against many of the genre clichés, for example it does not involve a Cabin in the Woods . Instead it focuses on the characters’ social isolation, despite being physically located in a well-populated urban area.

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    Martyrs (2015)

    Martyrs (2015) A young girl escapes from unknown persons who were apparently torturing her. The police are unable to find the alleged assailants, so they put the girl in an orphanage run by Catholic nuns. Anyone who has seen The Magdalene Sisters would know that this is not a good idea.

    Twenty years later, the girl has become Troian Bellisario . Driven by visions of a ghostly entity that is controlling her, she goes on a kill-crazy rampage against her presumed attackers - and anyone else who is inconvenient. Then she gives her best friend a phone-call, to come and help clean up the mess. This leaves the friend in a hell of a dilemma.

    It turns out that this is an American adaptation of a French movie, which explains why it turns out to be slightly more cerebral than the usual American horror movie. If someone has a regeneration superpower, like Wolverine , they would return from a deathlike state every time they were killed. If there were such a thing as an afterlife, the regeneration-powered mutants would get a glimpse of it.

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    My Bloody Valentine (2009)

    My Bloody Valentine (2009) A remake of a low-budget 1980s slasher film about a masked killer on a rampage, chasing after one of the Winchester Brothers from Supernatural on the weekend of Friday 13th of February 2009 ...

    Sound familiar? Well, while we are waiting for Jared Padalecki's appearance in the Jason Voorhees reboot, we are treated to Jensen Ackles being chased by The Miner. This is part remake of the original MBV film, combined with ideas for the planned sequel.

    Harry Warden, a thuggish miner, goes on a kill-crazy rampage in a small backwoods mining town. Ten years later, the survivors reunite. Tom (Ackles) has inherited a controlling stake in the town's mine, while Alex is now the Sheriff.

    This is more than a simple hack-and-slash affair. It is a horror-dunnit, as we try to work out who the Miner is before we run out of likely suspects. And it is all in glorious 3-D. No cheap cardboard glasses this time, but hefty ones that you can wear over your prescription spectacles. Unfortunately this means you have to pay extra for admission.

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    Prom Night (2008)

    Prom Night (2008) A tweenage girl ( Britanny Snow ) is recovering from a home invasion incident in which she saw her family get killed. Now she lives with her aunt ( Jessalynn Gilsig ) and sees a psychiatrist ( Ming-Na Wen ). Now it is her High School's Prom Night.

    Detective Idris Elba ( Twenty-Eight Weeks Later ) discovers that the killer, a former teacher (Jonathan Schaech - Roadhouse 2 ), has escaped from prison.

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    Rabid (2019)

    Rabid (2019) This low-budget Canadian horror movie by the Soska Sisters is a remake of a low-budget Canadian horror movie by David Cronenberg . It has been updated for the new century, forty years after the release of the original.

    Rose ( Laura Vandervoort ) works in the fashion industry. She should be a model, but because this is the same industry that had Anne Hathaway treated as The Fat One in The Devil Wears Prada she is treated as the Designated Ugly Fat friend. In a world where Vanderwoort is not deemed hot, she has accepted her lot and wants to be a fashion designer. Luckily she still has her day job, working for fashion designer Gunter (Mackenzie Gray - Riddles of the Sphinx (2008) ).

    Rose is in a road traffic accident, which happens off-screen to save on the budget. Dr Keloid (Stephen McHattie - ) saves her life but not her face, so she needs some plastic surgery. Doctor Burroughs (Ted Atherton - ) and his team do the necessary. Unfortunately there are unforseen side-effects.

    Just like in the original, the protagonist gets a hunger for human blood. To feed her craving she starts to hunt men for food. Of course, these days the men are not portrayed as innocent victims but rather as misogynistic assholes who deserve to be preyed upon. One is an actor who goes crazy on the set of his TV show, and is filmed by the Director (Greg Bryk - Bitten ).

    The zombie-vamp plague spreads throughout the city. Luckily, Rose has a boyfriend who is more than happy to violently attack anyone who poses a potential threat to her.

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    Resident Evil: Welcome to Racoon City (2021)

    Resident Evil: Welcome to Racoon City (2021) Johannes Roberts delivers a needless sequel, less than a decade after the previous series ended. Well, we probably have The Amazing Spider-Man to thank for setting this unfortunate precedent.

    Claire Redfield ( Kaya Scodelario ) is returning to Racoon City, the desolate rustbelt town where she grew up in an orphanage run by creepy doctor William Birkin (Neal McDonough - Legends of Tomorrow ). Now the town is almost empty because the main employer, the Umbrella Corporation, has polluted the water supply. Now the remaining population are infected, which basically makes them Fast Zombies.

    Claire is coming back to find her brother, Chris Redfield (Robbie Amell - Legends of Tomorrow ). He is now a cop in the tiny Racoon City police department, alongside Jill Valentine ( Hannah John-Kamen ) and Albert Wesker (Tom Hopper - Black Sails ). They serve under Chief Irons (Donal Logue - Gotham ), who is one of the best things about this terrible movie.

    The movie was made during the Covid lockdown, as proven by the appropriate job titles in the end credits, and this is painfully obvious on the screen. There are never more than five people on screen at one time, so the mass zombie attacks of the original are a thing of the past. Also, most of the cast are television actors - which is a sign of a relatively low budget. But the real problem appears to be with the script, which relies on a series of incredible coincidences and yet still provides unsatisfying endings for the various plot threads.

    There is an after-credits sequence which sets up a sequel. It introduces Ada Wong ( Lili Gao ), who may potentially be an interesting character but the actress is wooden, no doubt cast for her looks instead of acting ability.

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    Satan's School for Girls (2000)

    Satan's School for Girls (2000) This is based on a book of the same name by A.A. Ross , and made for TV by Aaron Spelling and the team from Charmed . There was a previous version in 1973, featuring Kate Jackson .

    A young woman flees her college, returns home and gets suicided by a supernatural force. Her sister ( Shannen Doherty ) gets a fake ID and enrolls at the school in order to investigate, Nancy Drew style. She bluffs Headmistress Kate Jackson , befriends room-mate Alison ( Julie Benz ) and token black chick Paige Taraji P. Henson , and investigates the school's Goth chicks.

    Luckily the sleazy History Professor provides some exposition. The best five students in the school are picked for the female version of The Skulls, only they are also inducted into witchcraft. Instead of the Pagan Power of Three, the conspiracy requires Five girls - representing the five points of the Satanic pentagram.

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    Shutter (2008)

    Shutter (2008) Rachael Taylor and her new husband (Joshua Jackson - Fringe ) are driving on a lonely country road in Japan when they hit a pedestrian. There is no body, but they start to find ghostly blurs on their photographs. Unfortunately, hubby is a professional photographer so it is his career at stake, not just a few holiday snaps.

    Naturally, the ghost is trying to tell something to the Final Girl. Luckily, hubby takes lots of photos that just happen to be at locations linked to what the ghost is trying to say. Also, hubby is friends with the sleazy Adam (John Hensley - Nip/Tuck), who is bound to have something important to do with the plot.

    This may be adapted from an Asian movie, specifically from Thailand rather than a J-Horror, but Ringu is not the only film that this borrows shots from. It also makes references to American films ( Psycho, Fatal Attraction ), probably to make it more accessible to a western audience.

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    Slumber Party Massacre (2021)

    Slumber Party Massacre (2021)

  • Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
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    Snow Beast (2011)

    Snow Beast (2011) A scientist (John Schneider - Smallville ) and his sidekicks go to live in a Cabin in the Woods to do research into the rare snow lynx. He drags his teenage daughter along, and she moans about having to do a few chores like helping with the cooking..

    Forest Ranger Jason London ( Mallrats ) has a number of missing persons cases to solve. The town is a major ski resort.

    This is a made-for-TV remake of a 1970s monster movie. The original was structured after Jaws , and relied on creating genuine suspense by only showing the occasional glimpse of the monster. The best thing that can be said about this film is that, unlike most modern SyFy monster movies, the creature is rubber rather than dodgy-looking CGI.

  • Snowbeast (1977)
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    The Stepfather (2009)

    The Stepfather (2009) The title character (Dylan Walsh - Congo (1996) ) is a serial killer who marries into ready-made families and then kills them all when he has to move on. He quickly finds himself a new target - Sela Ward . Her sister ( Paige Turco ) offers him a job in her company.

    The target's teenage son comes back from military school. He has a hot girlfriend ( Amber Heard ) to distract him. They spend a lot of time in the swimming pool, so she can show off her bikini body.

    Suspicious busy-bodies get picked off, one at a time. The climax is tense and well-edited.

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    Teenage Caveman (2002)

    Teenage Caveman (2002)

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    The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)

    The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)

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    Uninvited, The (2009)

    Uninvited, The (2009) Brunette Emily Browning has had a spell in a mental ward - like she did in Sucker Punch . She gets sent back home to live in the family mansion with her father (David Strathairn - Alphas ), stepmother Elizabeth Banks and elder sister Arielle Kebble (playing ten years younger than her real age). She thinks she sees ghosts, and suspects that stepmom is a serial killer.

    This was based on a Korean movie, which explains the focus on suspense rather than gore. Also, this means it was released as PG-13 rather than a higher, horror-movie classification. However, what really holds this film back is the lack of originality.

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    When A Stranger Calls (2005)

    When A Stranger Calls (2005) This is a modern 21st Century remake of the little-known 1970s thriller, starring Charles Durning. Now, it has been said that modern remakes allow a modern audience to see familiar stars of their own generation in a familiar plotline. This remake, in fact, contains no recognisable names or faces. In fact, the only really modern aspect is the presence of cellular phones. It is a relatively suspenseful film with none of the OTT SPFX and gore that permeate horror films from the 1980s Friday the 13th series to the more modern Saw torture-porn films.

    A babysitter ( Camilla Bell ) is left off by her father (Clark Gregg - Agents of Shield ) to look after a couple of children. Late at night, a stranger (Tommy Flanaghan - Smoking Aces ) makes prank calls to her. Things get more and more sinister ...

    The small cast includes some more familiar faces, such as the Final Girl's friends Tiffany ( Katie Cassidy ) and Scarlet ( Tessa Thompson ). Yes, one is a DC and one is a Marvel.

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    Willard (2003)

    Willard (2003)

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    Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

    Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

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    Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (2024)

    Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (2024)

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    Soon

    Soon

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